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So - back to the prosthetic livestock... A farmer walks into a bar with a pig that's limping along on a wooden leg and say, "I'll have a whiskey and a beer for my pig here." The bartender gets the drinks and then asks why the pig has a wooden leg. The farmer says, "This isn't any ordinary pig...

Hey OFG!!!! I just so happen to be a qualified hog therapist! I just 'treated' another one last night. Should be delicious - errr, ummm, let's just say, "He ain't fakini' it!" We should schedule a therapy session for your hogs - maybe first part of November, whadda you say? hehehe... Yeah -...

Yeah - if you're grinding it into the meat use fat - not lard. Backfat, leaf fat - whatever - but not lard that has already been rendered. That would be like mixing in butter - gets the fat in there but not quite what you're after. Bacon - now there's a beautiful idea....

Yep - bleed them like a chicken. I know lots of folks who like to skin their ducks - I could NEVER figure out how to skin a bord. I do pigs and cows all the time - birds? fergit it. For ducks get your water HOT - like 180F (instead of the 155F for chickens...) - splach a little on the duck and...

No - She didn't have to do the heimlich - I wasn't choking on coffee. My head was in a paper bag to stop the hyperventilation when I read that OFG was mentioned by GENE!!! Seriously - she came tearing down the stairs because I was squealing like a 12 year old girl, "Gene! Gene! She knows...

Haha - nope - sorry - northern Ohio. they hatch any time they can. This is the 3d clutch for my hens this year. I have another one who is trying to hide a nest - I keep feeding her eggs to the pigs... Seriously - in the hillbilly zodiac this has to be the "Year of the Duck"... But seriously -...

Try coring them and seeding them by cutting in half as you mentioned then fill a pot full of them and put it into a 250F oven for 2-3 hours. The chunks will shrink and there will be lots of clear liquid. Strain this off - let it set a few minutes and strain off some more, set a few - pour off...

If anyone needs any extra muscovy ducklings - PLEASE - let me know! - Found 11 more this morning...

Did someone say bourbon?

Salt and pepper the duck - put in a roaster with a mix of carrots, apples, prunes and onions. Season with more salt and pepper, thyme and majoram and put in a slow (250-275) oven for 5-6 hours. Serve with mashed potatoes and the melted-down fruit and veg. it was roasted with.

You're gonna have to save some of that lard this year to mix with your woad.... Picture that! - a blue-painted berzerker OFG streakin' through the primeval forests of Ohio giving hot chase to poultry marauding varmints! Seriously - if I didn't know her I'd think she was full of it. But I know...

You're not the only one OFG! Being 6'6" and 250 people always assume that I played football, etc. I always left them slack-jawed (not a long trip usually) with my comeback that there is nothing in this world sadder than watching a grown man chase a ball -- unless it's a grown man paying to...

eggplant jam - even my kids will eat it that way....

The spare ribs are peeled off the inside of the bacon and there are only so many ribs on a hog. As mentioned above - the tenderloin is the small strap of meat on the inside of the carcass - it, ehem, often does not find its way into a wrapper when you have a butcher do them...it must be made...

One of our hens came off the nest with 16 ducklings a week ago. We already have more than enough for us and all our friends and relations - anybody want any? Black and white. Very cute and oh so delicious.... Northern Portage County.

Get yourself a friend with a couple of Jerseys and a wife who is addicted to chevre - you'll be able to work out an arrangement...

SNORT!!! Beer just came out my nose! Trust me - I've seen OFG in action.... By the way - it's not just you girls who get to give the finger to the 'establishment' and opt out. I stay home with the kids - homeschool them, take care of the farm and house while my wife works 50 hours a week (from...

I use 2x8's for the sides and 2x6's for the 'ends' - that way there's a small gap in the front and back. Center the 2x6's on the 2x8's so that you're 3/4" down from the top (which will = a 3/4" gap on the bottom too. That way the crack isn't so large that the critters can scoot right out of...

Yup - 10x12. Nailing them works just fine by the way - I can also hook a rope on the front and pull. them wherever I want to take them - although I am 6'6" and weigh 260 - so that helps... Use 3 panels for the body - it hangs over about a foot in front (or in back - or 6" both ends - whatever...

Drakes-schmakes - gander-wanders they won't hurt you too badly even when they are mistakenly amorous. But - NEVER turn your back on a 1500lb holstein cow in heat.....