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You have to be true to your children and show them that you are tough and not no pansy quitter.

Did you mean that in a last supper Pontius Pilate way or a Euell Gibbons pine tree eating way? doesn't matter as Saint Nick is plum loco and will hunt you down. Texas may be big but Alaska is twice the size so there is no where to hide from an angry elf, well except for Iowa you could always...

Ouch! I think you just put a dig on me, but thats ok as it keeps my beer cold.

Turtle Neck shirt

They should make Mister Rogers a mod here because I sure don't know what half of you are talking about - I had to look up scadian which seems cool but that bricknsocks was just silly ridiculous. $100 for $5 sandal? if you guys are buying into this malarkey then my bridge is back up for sale. Oh...

How many pounds you figure your gonna have? bushel, peck, hogshead, cornucopia ...

Yep, now I know you got the good hair and your brother got the turtle neck that fit.

Hijacking seems to be the norm around here - I of course can't condone it. In the last few months I have bought 50 food grade (cake frosting) 5 gallon buckets from walmarts bakery for $1 each with wind proof lid.

copyright expires 12-21-2012

Since you won't allow little jack horner how about getting the monkeys drunk? or making plum pudding or plum bread, and my favorite plum wine.

I taste all my food, seemingly all at the same time.

You're a perfect doll, gain a hundred pounds and grow a mustache and we may just get you those boots. Wide calves willing of course. j/k

I missed the fried pie post and had to look back - its like having your cake and eating too. Deep hog fat fried of course.

I have been laying off the bacon for the last year but since you are a world renown bacon girl I will abide by your terms - no hog will be safe in these parts from now on. and unlike the Greeks goats, I WILL ACTUALLY EAT THEM.

I can eat the hell out of cabbage, sauerkraut, and slaw also mow down a regular salad for dinner but still don't know what all those greens you people keep talking about. I have never had a single one of the greens you just posted, actually in 50 years I only heard them mentioned on cartoons as...

Are you certain you didn't mean Das Boot Klaus does keep a mean kitchen.

I did not know that and only thought you helped those inflicted when you mentioned the ailment. You seem to be doing everything right so no advice for you except to keep on task and smile when you scoff at others.

If you think popcorn was bad before just wait until the dominatrix gets her new boots.

Alcohol actually has zero of everything except calories witch (Sally's sister) has about 60 per ounce. I do however throw a liver restoration party once a week so I should be good to go - - > gone.