How to grate fels-naptha without hemmorhaging?

eggs4sale

Lush who can't use a cheese grater
Joined
Jul 21, 2009
Messages
263
Reaction score
0
Points
84
I used my 4-sided cheese grater with the handle on the top. I said to myself "I'll grate the whole bar and make up a triple batch!" After my eyes were bulging out quite a bit, I looked at the bar and realized I had done less than 1/4 of it. I braved on. By the time my hands were cramping and my temporal vein was playing jump rope, I looked again and saw I had not even reached 1/3. The kids learned a few choice words and were keeping a wide berth away from me, so that was the plus side. I soldiered on. By the time I had finished the 1/3, I was no longer cursing because I had been holding my breath for minutes and my teeth were sort of permanently clenched.

A few hours later, with atrophied fingers, I scrawled on my grocery list:

Tide
Motrin
Vodka


So, can anyone PLEASE tell me a great way to grate before I head to the store?

(No, I don't have a food processor, besides my DH.)
 

big brown horse

Hoof In Mouth
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
8,307
Reaction score
0
Points
213
Location
Puget Sound, WA
eggs4sale said:
I used my 4-sided cheese grater with the handle on the top. I said to myself "I'll grate the whole bar and make up a triple batch!" After my eyes were bulging out quite a bit, I looked at the bar and realized I had done less than 1/4 of it. I braved on. By the time my hands were cramping and my temporal vein was playing jump rope, I looked again and saw I had not even reached 1/3. The kids learned a few choice words and were keeping a wide berth away from me, so that was the plus side. I soldiered on. By the time I had finished the 1/3, I was no longer cursing because I had been holding my breath for minutes and my teeth were sort of permanently clenched.

A few hours later, with atrophied fingers, I scrawled on my grocery list:

Tide
Motrin
Vodka


So, can anyone PLEASE tell me a great way to grate before I head to the store?

(No, I don't have a food processor, besides my DH.)
:lol: you are too funny!!!!
 

Beekissed

Mountain Sage
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
12,350
Reaction score
2,857
Points
417
Location
Mountains of WV
eggs4sale said:
I used my 4-sided cheese grater with the handle on the top. I said to myself "I'll grate the whole bar and make up a triple batch!" After my eyes were bulging out quite a bit, I looked at the bar and realized I had done less than 1/4 of it. I braved on. By the time my hands were cramping and my temporal vein was playing jump rope, I looked again and saw I had not even reached 1/3. The kids learned a few choice words and were keeping a wide berth away from me, so that was the plus side. I soldiered on. By the time I had finished the 1/3, I was no longer cursing because I had been holding my breath for minutes and my teeth were sort of permanently clenched.

A few hours later, with atrophied fingers, I scrawled on my grocery list:

Tide
Motrin
Vodka


So, can anyone PLEASE tell me a great way to grate before I head to the store?

(No, I don't have a food processor, besides my DH.)
Oh, that was great!!!!!! :lol: :gig

Which side of the grater are you using? and welcome to the forum! I use the side with the holes the size of a BB. This makes for a little curled shaving that melts easily. If you are doing the cornmeal consistency grating, you are workin' way to hard and you need to add some orange juice to that vodka and chill out!

I take my grater, bar of soap and a bowl, park in front of a good movie and rhythmically grate my fels as I relax on the couch........ takes all of about 3 min. :cool: Now....hand me some of that juice! :D
 

Wifezilla

No-Carb Queen
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
8,928
Reaction score
13
Points
270
Location
Colorado
I use my food processor :D

It takes a while to get the soap off the grating wheel, but it is better than spending all that extra money on Motrin and Vodka!!!
:gig
 

eggs4sale

Lush who can't use a cheese grater
Joined
Jul 21, 2009
Messages
263
Reaction score
0
Points
84
I used the BB sized side. I checked several times, thinking I must have accidentally turned it the wrong way. I tried it on the side that does slices, too, but couldn't get even one slice. It just sat there and said "You're joking, right?"

You guys are SUPPOSED to say "You used a cheese grater??? Well, THAT'S the problem. You're supposed to use a (waffle iron, butcher knife, rice patty, pool cleaner......)"
 

sufficientforme

Almost Self-Reliant
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
969
Reaction score
0
Points
104
I use a cheese grater with a non stick coating. It slides really easy, now I am not saying I do not work at it, just distract yourself with the TV or something while doing it. I check arm workout off my list of to do's when I grate 2 bars of soap for a batch. :D
 

Beekissed

Mountain Sage
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
12,350
Reaction score
2,857
Points
417
Location
Mountains of WV
Oh, you are sooooooo gonna brighten it up around here! :D

I actually have the older flat sheet-type grater, not the four sided one. You could also kind of warm the bar up in the microwave to make it a little softer for grating. Not too much or you will HAVE to use the pool cleaner...... ;)

OR...you could freeze it, put it in a ziploc and pound it with a hammer! You know? If you add the screw driver to this regimen, it could be quite satisfying to pound out some frustrations while sipping a drink...... :cool:
 

Dace

Revolution in Progress
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
6,893
Reaction score
2
Points
203
Location
Southern California
I never have grated fels but I have grated a lot of other stuff! Make sure that your grater is about waist height no higher....that might make it a bit easier.
 

hoosier

Almost Self-Reliant
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
729
Reaction score
0
Points
125
Thanks for making me laugh!

I use a flat grater marked Sunkist on the end, so it must be for citrus. I picked it up for $.50 and it works without too much effort, but it does the cornmeal consistency.

Welcome to SS!
 

Beekissed

Mountain Sage
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
12,350
Reaction score
2,857
Points
417
Location
Mountains of WV
I think my old grater must be very sharp, as mine grates pretty easily....... :hu

I'll tell you just how sharp..I shaved the side of my thumb right off....DEEP. It is now a thick scar but it still has a neurological stinging pain in it if I brush it along something.......I grate my soap very carefully now...... :barnie
 
Top