RTRChick
Lovin' The Homestead
Tennessee Volunteer Jokes
Q: What do you call a beautiful girl on the Tennessee campus?
A: A Bama visitor
Q: How do you get a Tennessee football fan to stop beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Crimson
Q: What do you call a beautiful women on the arm of a Tennessee fan?
A: A tattoo
Q: What does a Tennessee grad call a Bama grad?
A: Boss
Q: What does an Alabama student and a Tennessee student have in
common?
A: They both were accepted to Tennessee
A man walks into a store and says, I would like a orange hat, orange pants, orange sweater, and white shoes. The clerk says, are you a Vol fan? Yes replies the man, How did you guessby the color combination? No, answers the clerk, because this is a hardware store.
Q: Why is Tennessee changing their mascot to the possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road
Q: Why did the Tennessee grad get fired from the M&M factory?
A: He was throwing away too many Ws
Q: How do you get a Tennessee grad off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza and tip him well
Q: How can you tell if its a Tennessee airplane when it is snowing?
A: Snow chains on the propellors
Q: Hear Phil Fulmer was only dressing 15 players for the Fiesta Bowl?
A: Heard the rest could dress themselves
Q: How do you know when an Tennessee graduate student uses your
computer?
A: The screen is covered with whiteout
Q: What do you call a Vol with half a brain
A: Gifted
Q: Whats the difference between a Vol and a dollar bill?
A: You only get three quarters out of a Vol
Q: What do Tennessee fans call I-59?
A: Trail of tears
Q: How many Tennessee students does it take to make popcorn?
A: Eleven. One to hold the pan, and ten to shake the stove
Q: Tennessee is getting ready to hire a new offensive coordinator
A: His name is Win-One-Soon
Q: Did you hear about the tragedy on the Tennessee campus:
A: The library burned downthey lost both booksand the real
tragedy is, one of them had not even been colored in yet.
Q: There was a couple who were getting a divorced, so the judge said to
the child, Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with
your Dad? No, said the child, he beats me.
Do you want to live with your Mom then? No, she beats me too.
Well who do you want to live with? I want to live with a Vol fan
said the little girl, because they cant beat anybody thats good.
Q: An Alabama and Tennessee fan were driving in opposite directions
on dark stormy night and they had a collision in the middle of the
road. The Vol manages to climb out of his car and survey the
damage. Like wise the Alabama man climbs out of his car and does
the same. Both feel lucky to have survived the wreck. The Vol walks
over to the Bama man and says I think this is a sign from God
we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead
of arch rivals. The Bama man says you are absolutely right!
We should be friends. Now I am going to see what else survived this
wreck. So the Bama man opens his trunk and finds a full unopened
bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Vol, I think this is another
sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding
and friendship. The Vol says, Youre right!, and he grabs the
bottle and starts sucking down the whiskey. After putting away
nearly half the bottle, he hands it back to the Bama man and says,
Your turn! The Bama man twists the cap back on the bottle and
says, Nahh, I think Ill just wait for the cops to show up.
Q: What does the Tennessee football team and a sand castle both
have in common?
A: They both look good until the Tide Rolls in
Q: What do you get if you cross a Tennessee Football player with
an Auburn Cheerleader?
A: Nothing! There is some things even a Tennessee player wont do
Q: What do you call a beautiful girl on the Tennessee campus?
A: A Bama visitor
Q: How do you get a Tennessee football fan to stop beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Crimson
Q: What do you call a beautiful women on the arm of a Tennessee fan?
A: A tattoo
Q: What does a Tennessee grad call a Bama grad?
A: Boss
Q: What does an Alabama student and a Tennessee student have in
common?
A: They both were accepted to Tennessee
A man walks into a store and says, I would like a orange hat, orange pants, orange sweater, and white shoes. The clerk says, are you a Vol fan? Yes replies the man, How did you guessby the color combination? No, answers the clerk, because this is a hardware store.
Q: Why is Tennessee changing their mascot to the possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road
Q: Why did the Tennessee grad get fired from the M&M factory?
A: He was throwing away too many Ws
Q: How do you get a Tennessee grad off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza and tip him well
Q: How can you tell if its a Tennessee airplane when it is snowing?
A: Snow chains on the propellors
Q: Hear Phil Fulmer was only dressing 15 players for the Fiesta Bowl?
A: Heard the rest could dress themselves
Q: How do you know when an Tennessee graduate student uses your
computer?
A: The screen is covered with whiteout
Q: What do you call a Vol with half a brain
A: Gifted
Q: Whats the difference between a Vol and a dollar bill?
A: You only get three quarters out of a Vol
Q: What do Tennessee fans call I-59?
A: Trail of tears
Q: How many Tennessee students does it take to make popcorn?
A: Eleven. One to hold the pan, and ten to shake the stove
Q: Tennessee is getting ready to hire a new offensive coordinator
A: His name is Win-One-Soon
Q: Did you hear about the tragedy on the Tennessee campus:
A: The library burned downthey lost both booksand the real
tragedy is, one of them had not even been colored in yet.
Q: There was a couple who were getting a divorced, so the judge said to
the child, Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with
your Dad? No, said the child, he beats me.
Do you want to live with your Mom then? No, she beats me too.
Well who do you want to live with? I want to live with a Vol fan
said the little girl, because they cant beat anybody thats good.
Q: An Alabama and Tennessee fan were driving in opposite directions
on dark stormy night and they had a collision in the middle of the
road. The Vol manages to climb out of his car and survey the
damage. Like wise the Alabama man climbs out of his car and does
the same. Both feel lucky to have survived the wreck. The Vol walks
over to the Bama man and says I think this is a sign from God
we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead
of arch rivals. The Bama man says you are absolutely right!
We should be friends. Now I am going to see what else survived this
wreck. So the Bama man opens his trunk and finds a full unopened
bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Vol, I think this is another
sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding
and friendship. The Vol says, Youre right!, and he grabs the
bottle and starts sucking down the whiskey. After putting away
nearly half the bottle, he hands it back to the Bama man and says,
Your turn! The Bama man twists the cap back on the bottle and
says, Nahh, I think Ill just wait for the cops to show up.
Q: What does the Tennessee football team and a sand castle both
have in common?
A: They both look good until the Tide Rolls in
Q: What do you get if you cross a Tennessee Football player with
an Auburn Cheerleader?
A: Nothing! There is some things even a Tennessee player wont do
