Lifestyle / Standard Of Living - Easy to expand, hard to contract

[Nifty]

I've had this discussion with about 50 people over the past 2 years. I've seen with family, friends, and even our own little family to a certain extent that it is WAY easier to expand your lifestyle than it is to contract it.

So, I'm wondering how many peeps have:

1) Always had a frugal lifestyle so there's been no need to pull back / contract?
2) Increased their lifestyle and voluntarily chose to contract it? (If so, why and how?)
3) Increased their lifestyle and were forced to chose to contract it? (If so, why and how?)

Emily and I fall into the first group. I've always chosen to keep my lifestyle very tight. Even when I've had the ability to expand it I've forced myself to keep it contracted. My parents were frugal to a fault (penny wise pound foolish) and while it was overall very helpful for all my family members and I, we all struggle with finding balance between being too frugal and too spendy. I joke with other couples that I actually need a budget to FORCE me to spend money.

Of course, frugality and lifestyle are EXTREMELY relative. While all of my friends and co-workers consider me the most frugal (cheap) person they know, I turn around and see that my mom and my wife's parents are more frugal than we are.

I also had a discussion yesterday with my friend about this subject of relative frugality. We have a friend in common who has a fancy house, nice cars, nice clothes, etc. and we consider him "frugal". Why? Because, relative to other people that make as much money as he does, he is way more careful with it and is therefor relatively more frugal. We also have some friends that don't spend a lot, but we don't consider them frugal because relative to how much they make, they spend more than they probably should.

It's all such a fascinating topic / discussion and I could talk about it for hours with anybody.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

My mom was a single mom to three kids...there was no money for anything. We grew up living a very frugal lifestyle, grew gardens, and rarely did we get more than handmedowns for clothes. Really, she did good just to pay the bills most months.

That's affected my lifestyle quite a bit.

Does frugal also equail tight wad? If so, then that would describe my husband. LOL I love letting him hold onto the money, because I know it will still be there when we need it! I cannot always trust myself with money. I'd rather he hold on to it.

 

[Henrietta23]

We fall into the first category. We were both raised by frugal parents who saved anything extra when there was any. It only seems natural to us to do the same. Even living this way there have been times when we've had to tighten more than we already were.

 

[Beekissed]

Always frugal due to no money!

 

[MorelCabin]

My frugality seems to come and go like the seasons:>) Grew up with an extremely frugal lifestyle...then married a man who didn't know the meaning of frugality and he could afford it back then, so I joined the party...then his job changed hands and things got really rough for a while...
So I became frugal again for about ten years...didn't bother me...to be honest it's ALOT more fun shoppping consignment and goodwill stores...
And then a few years back I got a job in furniture sales...worked for three years, made good money and spent every penny...and then decided to be a stay at home mom again...so back to being a little more frugal it is:>)

 

[sylvie]

My family was very well off, considered wealthy I suppose.
My father died under odd circumstances, the insurance didn't pay and my mother, with no head for business, lost everything.
We became Social Security kids.
I've been frugal ever since having experienced loss of income and status at a young age. That shaped me.
I'd say there was no increase before contraction because I was born into money.
I married a hard working guy and together we built a great life. His health went downhill. We had to sell our second home, spend our savings and his retirement on medical bills. I didn't know it was possible to become more frugal than we were but it was. It is not going to get better in our case, a fixed income with huge prescription costs. Last year we hit the stinkin donut hole in February, only 2 months into the plan!
So, I've been forced to become even more frugal after an increase, but I've had practice.

 

[FarmerChick]

Increased their lifestyle and voluntarily chose to contract it? (If so, why and how?)

**********
I fall into this category (I guess).

My parents started out having it hard. But Dad did very well from Marine to President of companies in later years.

So they were frugal with 3 kids, then more and more money and lifestyle increased.....but I guess you can say they were "frugal with money". Dad was very careful on purchases but we had a great childhood no doubt!!! Being frugal is what got them very comfortable in their retirement years. Dad is 80 and Mom is 81 and they are both perfect healthwise and living the good life now.

I worked hard and made good money (computer programmer in CT) and then computers for insurance companies. I moved to NC with money and bought land etc.

Got married and had a kid, spent money and found myself in debt trying to acquire this farm! Became super frugal, paid off most of my debt over MANY years, and now feel more secure. Will never go in debt again to that level....I learned my lesson hard!

So now I am voluntarily contracting back to basics. I want to spend my money on travel. Load up the camper and go. Forget fancy jewelry, forget high end clothes, forget expensive "stuff"---I am decluttering to make the house simple to clean etc. and saving money for camping trips to make great memories for Nicole.

So that is kinda where I am at this point.


Frugal is great. Frugal means you can save money where you think it is a worthless expense, save money for exactly where you WANT to spend it. It is different for everyone. But at least we have options what to do with that money.

No matter how much a person wants to hang onto money, remember you can't take it with you....so spending some to make my life more enjoyable is well worth every penny....LOL

 

[me&thegals]

Always frugal, first out of absolute necessity, now our way of life.

I grew up in a family that didn't have extras. I am so glad for this because it never occurred to me that a person would spend money they didn't have. We learned from an early age that when things got tight, any extras (in our case this was only things like an occasional meal out or soda for a treat) had to go.

When first married, I was still in college and my husband made a very small income farming. College itself was such a struggle financially that I learned even further how to avoid spending money as long as possible. That continued into marriage. Now things are much easier for us financially, but I would say that's hugely due to us always living under our means. We still don't make much more than we did 13 years ago, but we've slowly gotten more and more self sufficient (thereby saving money) and come to work extra jobs here and there for a cushion.

I think the HUGE issue is whether a person CHOOSES to contract their life versus being forced to. It's been fun trying to cut back slowly over the years. If I HAD to, like due to job loss or illness, it would definitely be a shock to the system. On the other hand, being frugal all along has allowed us to build up enough of a cushion that we may not ever have to face that shock... (crossing fingers)

 

[jackiedon]

My husband and I were raised with fugal families because we had to be so we picked up part of it as a lifestyle.

We expanded when we could but was really easy to tighten when we needed to but did run up some debt.

Now we are forced to tightened as tight as we can because I have health issues and not able to work. I'm trying to get my disability but until that comes through we are being as frugal as we can. I have learned through this that when my disablity does come through I will still have the garden to can and freeze as much as I can. Also grow and process our own meat chickens to put up. It's just good living. Plus the food taste so much better and it feels good I can do it.

jackie

 

[shareneh]

I have recently decided to scale back. No reason other than I was sick of chasing my tale when it came to paying bills and figuring out which new gadget to buy. It seemed like I was never satisfied. I decided to clean the basement one day and found things there that I had bought but never used. Clothing I had bought but never worn. It was nuts. That day I started to see what a waste I was being to myself and the planet. I just wanted things more simple.