Mental health is important too! Stories, advice?

[Beekissed]

I've been cruisin' the BYC and reading threads all over and listening to co-workers ranting about this or that and also dealing with families that are on the outs over their parent's medical problems, etc.

We do a lot of talking on here about eating healthy and even relieving stress but I'm wondering how many of you folks contemplate how often we let others make us feel bad or how much resentment or frustration towards others that we harbor.

So....how about it? Do you guys try to let it all go or do you hold it to you and nurse it along? Do you have old hurts and griefs that you dwell on or do you try to resolve them in your hearts and minds? Do you jump defensively when people have dissenting views or seem to criticize you or do you lash back, think about it for days and keep re-living it in your minds?

I've read several good books and articles on letting anger and hurts go because they are damaging to your physical health, as well as your mental health.

Do you folks actively try to eliminate this mental toxicity so as to improve your well-being? If so, how? Any advice to offer to those who have been hurt badly by others and can't seem to let go?

Or advice to others who live on the defensive and feel the need to hurt others?

Do you know people like this?

 

[freemotion]

One thing I finally learned is that I do not have to have these people in my life much at all. Even if I am related to them! I have learned to hold my hand up in a "stop" gesture, too, when a conversation turns south. And turn and walk away if the person doesn't get it. Not always, though, I am still practicing!

I guess I have cleaned up who I let into my life so well, that it startles me when someone is mean. The place I see it most is on some forum posts (amazing to me) and among some of the students and even teachers at the massage school where I teach (even MORE amazing!!!) ETA: I have learned to deal with that, too. All communications with co-teachers is via e-mail now, so I have a written record in case one tries to push me under the corporate bus. I will simply be very firm with students, and if needed, threaten to fail them in the area of "professional competency." They smarten up pretty quickly.

As a self-employed massage therapist, my work environment is pretty nice! I'm the only one who gives me a hard time!

I had a stranger yell at me in a parking lot yesterday and even that amazed me. She was yelling, "You can't park there!" because I'd parked in a legitimate parking space, but now she would have to back up (like everyone else!) to get out instead of driving forward. I found myself actually laughing (not always the best response, but it struck me as very funny for some reason) as I told her, "Yes, I can park here." After a few more repeats of this same conversation, I just decided she was psycho and ignored her....she had two little girls in tow, too. It was a busy parking lot, otherwise, I would have driven away. People really can be psycho!

 

[big brown horse]

Wow free that was an interesting story. What is up with folks these days?

What I love about myself the most is my sense of humor. I'm not that funny, but I find everything and everybody else very funny. I love to laugh and surround myself with funny, happy people. (I love practical jokes like nobody's business...)

I think of myself as a very forgiving person and I hate confrontation unless I am sticking up for children, a dear friend my family or the elderly...oh, and ALL animals.

I stay far away from chronic complainers and generally unhappy people.

I "divorced" my crazy sister for 2 years because she was so nasty to me. I don't feel one bit of guilt for it either.

I just want to have a good time this lifetime.

 

[Beekissed]

I have cleaned up who I let into my life

Free, I think this has been my ultimate defensive tool against those who strive to hurt, advertantly or inadvertantly!

Great advice!

1. Be careful who you have in your life.

Are they considerate and mutual friends? If not, limit exposure to users, gossips, backstabbers, chronically acidic, those who enjoy other's (or their own) misery.

If you have them in your family or at your work space, be civil and gentle but not chummy and don't let them into your psyche or tell them details of your life. Self protect!

 

[Beekissed]

I stay far away from chronic complainers and generally unhappy people.

Yes! Another vote for Advice #1!

 

[big brown horse]

Great advice!

I thought it wasn't cool to backstab or gossip after jr. high?

 

[big brown horse]

Bee we keep posting at the same time!!

 

[Beekissed]

Great advice!

I thought it wasn't cool to backstab or gossip after jr. high?

Apparently you work with men, 'cause women are ALL about these two no-nos! I know men can do it too, but women are much more prone to these harmful activities.....

 

[Beekissed]

That's cause great minds think alike! I, too, share your ornery sense of humor and never pass up an opportunity to laugh...be it at myself or situations. I try to keep my laughing at others entirely to myself, but sometimes it threatens to burst from my lips....sort of like Free laughing at the lady in the parking lot.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

not sure I want to touch this thread right now...

I don't mean to be a complainer, and I've never thought of myself as unhappy...just don't like to be around certain people. Normally I'm pretty upbeat, spunky, I dunno...