Spare the rod......Not a bible quote

[clkingtx]

This may seem a little odd to be posted here, but I was just reading some posts, and the phrase "Spare the rod, spoil the child" kept coming up, and being stated as a bible verse.
I looked it up.
It is not from the bible. Though many scripture verses seem to be in agreement with this phrase, it is actually a direct quote from a poem by Samuel Butler called "Hudibras".

Here is a link to infoplease, showing the excerpt of the poem


http://www.infoplease.com/dictionary/brewers/spare-rod-spoil-child.html

If anyone is interested, google brought it up quick and easy. Thought you would like to know.

Carrie

 

[Ldychef2k]

Edited because I didn't read for content.

 

[noobiechickenlady]

The one I reference is Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

 

[VickiLynn]

I have always wondered why people assume the rod is referring to hitting. The shepherds used their rods to guide the sheep, and protect them.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I have always wondered why people assume the rod is referring to hitting. The shepherds used their rods to guide the sheep, and protect them.

Shepherds carried a rod and a staff. The rod was used to ward off predators - the Staff was used to protect the sheep.

Hitting and Spanking are two very different things.

 

[Beekissed]

You are correct, that exact phrase was merely paraphrasing Bible verses found in Proverbs.

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. (Proverbs 13:24)

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. (Proverbs 19:18)

Both of these verses appear in the Contrast of Goodness and Evil. From the Warnings and Instructions come the following four verses:

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. (Proverbs 23:13)

15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. 17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. (Proverbs 29:15, 17)

You will not find in the Bible the exact words of the "proverb" you hear today. Instead, you will hear King Solomon's contrast of good and evil and his warnings and instructions. Consider the message of the verses.
In 13.24 you find that if you do not discipline your child, you hate him. If you love him, you discipline him when necessary. *Note that the word for "rod" here is the same word as "frond", meaning then a palm branch, not the iron rod with which the kings ordered prisoners flogged.

In 19.18 you find that you should chastise your child early while he is still impressionable (good). (Evil) You should not fail (spare) to chastise your child because he cries or is remorseful.

In 22.15 you find that a child is not born with a moral compass or the knowledge to know his actions are folly. Discipline will teach him.

In 23.13 you find that if you discipline your child to teach him values and morals, he will not fall into iniquity (evil) and die (eternal damnation).

In 29.15 you find that discipline and knowledge (reproof) will keep your child from bringing shame upon the family. In 17, you find if you discipline your child, he will behave always and be a child with whom you can be happy.

I think these are pretty clear without the need for paraphrasing.

 

[FarmerDenise]

This simply put, means to me anyhow, that children need guidance. They sometimes need to suffer the consequences of their actions, which might be hard for the parent to do and witness, but it is neccessary.
It does not indicate to me that children should be hit or spanked or have their a$$'s whooped for any and all infractions.

The root word of discipline means: "to teach". As in Jesus had "Disciples" = students.

Children need to be taught to be productice and well adjustet adults in a cohesive society.

Children need to learn that their actions and inactions have consequenses. As parents we need to guide and teach the children. There are times we need to say NO and be firm. There are times we need to let the child decide and fall on her face, because she made the wrong choice. As the parent, we may see it coming and stand back and let the child fall. Then depending on the circumstance we may continue to stand back, we might counsil or we might hug the child and let her know it will be alright.

I think the passages mentioned above, really are more intended to make the parent stay on course in the process of teaching their child and be responsible for their child, than to offer a simple course of action against the child to MAKE them do as the adult wills.

After all, if you simply hit a child, because the child does not do as you (the big person (adult)) wishes, aren't you really teaching your child that it is ok to hit someone smaller than yourself, if they don't do what you want them too?

 

[Beekissed]

Nope!

 

[MorelCabin]

I grew up being spanked, and I can't say that I ever hit anyone as a adult:>) There is a big difference between hitting a child, and spanking a child. I spanked mine if they were obviously defiant, or doing something that they had previously been told not to do, esp if it posed any kind of danger to themsleves or others. Nothing whrong with spanking, works much better than "you be good and I'll buy you a treat" (bribery) and time outs, which actually cause much more harm to a child who spends alot of time isolated because of behavior problems. (gives them too much time to think up ways to retaliate)
A spanking, believe it or not is cleansing, tears and pain cleanse the soul somehow...and after it is over it really is a new start. The anger is usually gone. Sitting a kid in a corner is like trying to tie a cat to a clothesline...very frustrating to the parent, and the child.
A spanking is immediate and final. Kids understand that much better.
When my parents used to give me a choice, spanking or grounding, I chose spanking everytime...even though I knew it would hurt likt the dickens (my dad was not easy on us) I also knew that forgiveness came with it and it was over quickly, I'd paid for my infraction and life could go on.
Spanking is not the end of the world

 

[rebecca100]

Thank you Morel. I think that we all agree that you shouldn't spank just because you can, but when they need it. My kids are good kids. They know right from wrong and usually do what is right and I can trust them. I rarely have to spank them, but they know if they are defiant, do something after I tell them don't, or do something just plain hateful then they know that I'll tear their rear ends up. Then they know that I give them a hug even while they are still crying and ask them if they understand why they got that and I ALWAYS make sure to tell them that I love them no matter what. It hurts to see them cry, but I think it would be a worse and much longer hurt if they were killed or went into drugs or end up in prison or something and I thought it was my fault for not teaching them better. I will know in my heart that I did my best to keep it from happening and keep them on the right path. Sometimes I do let them fall on their face and suffer their own consequences, but nothing takes the place of a spanking when they need it.