Icu4dzs
Super Self-Sufficient
- Joined
- May 7, 2010
- Messages
- 1,388
- Reaction score
- 59
- Points
- 208
As you can see, everyone here offers their sincere and heartfelt feelings of sympathy and compassion for your pain. It is true, as you said, that it will never heal. It will ease over time but that scar will always be there. And as you said, he is there, to add light to the path you will one day travel to once again be together.
Those of us who have buried a child do not welcome you into our grouping gladly. It is one club no one is asked to join willingly and we sincerely hope that if you find the need to share this pain with one of us, you will do it frequently until the pain has eased. We do it with our arms open and our hearts open to help you carry your weight.
Grief has been not well understood in this country because so many have felt it for one reason or another but it has become "unfashionable" to grieve openly.
Grief has essentially 5 stages which were clearly explained in the landmark work of Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross called "On Death and Dying". To date, no work in the realm of human science has been as good or as helpful. While she discusses how a person feels when it is their own death that is to be anticipated, the stages of grief are exactly the same, regardless of the cause of the grief.
You will find that you will cry or attempt to cry. Sometimes, nothing will come out and you will wail silently. That is normal and a good thing to help you with the catharsis of the grief.
Grieving used to be supported in our country and other countries as well by the wearing of black for one year. It allowed the person grieving to go among society and to express their grief without having to explain why.
The concept of one year is important. It generally does take about a year for the grief to subside to the level that one can return to their daily lives without becomming overwhelmed with that grief.
You will find the grief is expressed by crying and that the crying spells will come gradually farther apart and last shorter periods of time. That is how you will know you are healing from the shock and pain of the grief.
Those around you will feel the same and should be allowed to express their feelings without question and in the family circle it should be acknowledged with compassion. Some will act out simply because they do not know what to say or do to show their pain. Tolerate their feelings and soothe their souls with love and understanding.
This too, shall pass. Your son will be waiting for you and you will once again smile at his face but for now give him your permission to be where he is so that he does not grieve as well.
Peace be unto you and your family at this time of great trial.
Warmly,
Trim
Those of us who have buried a child do not welcome you into our grouping gladly. It is one club no one is asked to join willingly and we sincerely hope that if you find the need to share this pain with one of us, you will do it frequently until the pain has eased. We do it with our arms open and our hearts open to help you carry your weight.
Grief has been not well understood in this country because so many have felt it for one reason or another but it has become "unfashionable" to grieve openly.
Grief has essentially 5 stages which were clearly explained in the landmark work of Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross called "On Death and Dying". To date, no work in the realm of human science has been as good or as helpful. While she discusses how a person feels when it is their own death that is to be anticipated, the stages of grief are exactly the same, regardless of the cause of the grief.
You will find that you will cry or attempt to cry. Sometimes, nothing will come out and you will wail silently. That is normal and a good thing to help you with the catharsis of the grief.
Grieving used to be supported in our country and other countries as well by the wearing of black for one year. It allowed the person grieving to go among society and to express their grief without having to explain why.
The concept of one year is important. It generally does take about a year for the grief to subside to the level that one can return to their daily lives without becomming overwhelmed with that grief.
You will find the grief is expressed by crying and that the crying spells will come gradually farther apart and last shorter periods of time. That is how you will know you are healing from the shock and pain of the grief.
Those around you will feel the same and should be allowed to express their feelings without question and in the family circle it should be acknowledged with compassion. Some will act out simply because they do not know what to say or do to show their pain. Tolerate their feelings and soothe their souls with love and understanding.
This too, shall pass. Your son will be waiting for you and you will once again smile at his face but for now give him your permission to be where he is so that he does not grieve as well.
Peace be unto you and your family at this time of great trial.
Warmly,
Trim
and more 
