What is wrong with kids today - or What comes after TWO?

[Farmfresh]

My garden is in the backyard, as are a lot of other peoples gardens. This means my garden space is backed directly up to several other backyards. Sometimes when I am out working in the garden I get little glimpses of other peoples lives. Mind you I am not trying to be noisy; I am just trying to do a little weeding.

Well today I saw a very interesting little display while picking my berries. A mother went out into her backyard with her little boy. The child could not have been more than 3 years old. The mother was just stepping out the door to get something she left on the deck, but as soon as he was out of the door the little boy made a beeline for the outdoor kiddy pool. Then the drama ensued.

No, no stay out of the water. the mother said. And the little child completely ignored her.

Come on now we are going to go back in and watch a movie. You can swim later.

I want to swim now. says the child now in the middle of the pool not three feet from where the mother was standing.

No, not now. You get out of the water this minute. Do you hear me? Get out right now or you are going to be in big trouble. The child laughs and splashes away in the water.

I mean it you get out of the water right now. I am not playing. (This message is then repeated about six times with varying vocal tones ranging from sincerely earnest to big bad wolf) Meanwhile the child still three feet from parent happily plays away.

Time to be serious and get some results... so, now the mother changes tactics.

I mean it! You are getting a spanking young man! Get out of that water NOW! One ... TWO! ... Still the child plays on, even going so far as to splash water on the mother.

I just knew the jig was up and that any minute I would see the mother step forward and take the child out of the water. I was wrong.

I mean it! You get out of the water this minute. Do you hear me? Get out right now or you are going to be in big trouble. Get out of that water NOW! One ... TWO! ...

Are you kidding ME! What happened to three?

The child was now beginning to laugh at the mother and even starting to back talk. I am not getting out. You cant get in the water. Ha, ha!

The spectacle wore on. I begin to keep track. That mother counted in her maddest mother voice, One ... TWO! ... and repeated the demands EIGHT times. Eight! I was about to go over the pool and lift the kid out myself when finally she did it - she took ACTION. The mother stepped forward into the pool! At that moment the child dashed out of the pool and across the yard. Ha, ha, you are in the water now! I thought there would surely be more counting, but I guess the child was done in the pool and ready for his movie. He streaked past the mother and into the house. The mother stepped out of the pool and calmly followed him inside.

I stood in amaze. There was no need for shouting. No need for demands. No need for spanking or counting. All the mother needed to do was reach her hand out and take her childs hand.

As it was this child was totally in charge. He said that he wanted to play in the pool and that is exactly what he did. His mother might as well have closed her mouth and taken a chair. All of the threats and counting to two did absolutely no good. A little action and consistency was all that was needed. The sad end to this story is that when a parent has a 3 year old that is this out of control, what happens when the child is 10 ... or worse yet, 16?

Just remember when it comes to your child actions DO speak louder than words. You dont need violence or threats just a consistent gentle hand to guide them. Oh and remember ... the number three comes after two!

 

[big brown horse]

I am a teacher of little ones and that stuff drives me crazy!

My mom gave me some advice as a new young mom to be. She said when you have to say no, say it and walk away...no room for discussion. And when you have to count to three you better mean it!!

 

[freemotion]

So what happens in a busy parking lot, or near a busy road? Don't pat that doggie, sweetie, he is snarling....No, you can't smoke pot in the house.....No, you can't have sleepovers with your girlfriend....No, you can't have the car keys when you've been drinking...one....two.....two and a half.....two and three quarters....

Bail is HOW MUCH????

 

[big brown horse]

That isn't something to laugh at I suppose, but it is SO true freemotion!

 

[freemotion]

Then what comes next...."We never taught you that!" And to the reporters after the story hits the news: "He was such a sweet kid...we never saw this coming!"

 

[Farmfresh]

I knew you all would appreciate my little story.

It was all I could do to keep picking berries and not jump over the back fence!

 

[freemotion]

You would not be the neighbor who tells the reporters, "He was such a nice, quiet boy!"

 

[Farmfresh]

Unfortunately I have seen the results of parenting of this kind.

I worked at an alternative school (school for kids who could not make it in regular schools) for 9 years. I worked in a middle school classroom. We "wrapped" kids - which means they stayed in the same classroom for 6, 7, and 8th grade then moved to the next class. That gives you time to build a relationship with a hard to reach kid. It is an idea that works and we had many successes.

Since leaving that school for another job 4 years ago, I have some statistics to report. Of the kids that I personally worked with 6 are now in prison for committing murder and another 6 are dead. That does not include those children now young adults that are in jail for other crimes. Sad statistics indeed.

After two comes three ... and consequences result from your actions. Why can't people seem to learn that stuff.

 

[keljonma]

This is exactly why 10 - 14 year olds are out at a drinking/drug party right before they end up in the ER. (There were 2 in our local ER last night - parents knew where the kids were and didn't say NO.)

It is also why kids in elementary school/jr high end up in detention center. No respect, no discipline.

I'm all for bringing back the "good ole' days", when mom or dad said NOW - they meant it.

Maybe mom can't count past 2???


ETA: in my dd's kitchen she has posted house rules and the kids (11 and 7) have always known the rules were to be obeyed at home and in public or there would be consequences.

 

[Dace]

LOL....wow you have some serious self control...I think I would be laughing my butt off!!