Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[frustratedearthmother]

My beautiful daughter and her wonderful husband. She wasn't just beautiful on the outside - she was beautiful to her core.

We're having a small private memorial tomorrow at my son's house.

I don't know how to do this ya'll. I'm a big ol' mess....

 

[The Porch]

We're having a small private memorial tomorrow at my son's house.

I don't know how to do this ya'll. I'm a big ol' mess....

😢 🫂

 

[farmerjan]

My heart is so sad for you and her husband, the children and the rest of your family.
💔💔💔

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Thanks everyone. Life has a way of forcing us back to a semi schedule even after unspeakable tragedy. Animals still need to be cared for, meals cooked, laundry done... Part of me wants nothing more than to think about her and go over memories every minute of every day but that's not realistic. Life goes on and even though "life" pisses me off immeasurably right now - it still goes on.

SIL and grands left yesterday. Broke my heart to let them go. School is starting in a couple weeks so there are things they need to attend to.

Turned the goats into the overgrown areas that were formerly gardens. Amazing how they can plow through an area that is over 6 foot tall with weeds so thick I can't walk through. An afternoon of that and I can see the ground now. Not sure if I'll put a garden back there or just stick to my smaller raised beds going forward.

I'm going to try and ease DH and I into the Mediterranean diet way of eating. I've lost a few lbs, but DH seems to be eating his grief. He's gained probably 10 lbs in the last few weeks. Worst thing that can happen to his body. HIs back and hips don't need any more challenges.

 

[flowerbug]

sad for sure, but i did laugh about the goats and swimmers...

 

[flowerbug]

looks like you did get some more. hope all is ok!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

looks like you did get some more. hope all is ok!

I swear it's all around me - but we get nothing but tiny little leftovers. Twenty miles in one direction they got almost 4 inches....20 miles in the other direction they got over 2 inches...10 miles away another 2+ inches.

Our grand total for the day is 0.18. Less than 2/10 of an inch. ARGH!!!!

 

[flowerbug]

so great to hear! hope that rye grass seed is still able to work for you.

 

[flowerbug]

...
I had a check-up yesterday with DH's cardiologist. Woo Hoo, I passed the EKG with flying colors!!

congrats!

Have to go back for a sonogram and stress test. Double ugh!

? if the EKG is excellent why go through that? sounds like looking for extra trouble for no reason to me, but i'm always leery of docs these days.

 

[The Porch]

Did you ASK? I'm like FEM....ask until you get an answer, even question the answer if not concise. My mother always got more info when I began going along -- better results too, when I controlled her eats.

I asked, and they said all looks fine---???