Are we living our dream?

To tell you the truth I love them for the age I am. DH and I can totally slaughter one, process and not have to worry about running out of freezer space. Think….bantam swine. I don’t know if DH and his imaginary friend will actually sell piglets but if they don’t, at least I know we can schedule slaughter days and not have a problem. We have a full size picnic table in the yard. I bet we can kill 3 pigs and each scrap one and gutting them would be not much harder than a goose. I wouldn’t even need the big pot and propane burner. I could make hog head cheese right on the stove top or in the crockpot like I once did…and I didn’t have a team of women helping me chop greens either. It’s just people don’t consider them as meat animals. I do.
 
Happy Easter. I am just getting up from night shift. I don’t think DH sleeps well without me. He is in bed now. He should probably just farm with a bulleye lamp. From what I understand some of his medicine dictates not to work in sunlight anyway 🤷‍♀️
I took one of the full time positions and put in for the spot that didn’t require flipping units. Let someone younger do that. Had a code and it’s been a while and we don’t wear white anymore so I was confused for a second. The actual nurse in charge of the lady was present but God help me…I didn’t even recognize she was the nurse and I began CPR the old way and looked at her and said,”Get me the crash cart!!” and she left and I kept going. By the time she got back I really wanted the ambubag and I told her to help me….still not knowing exactly who her nurse was but grateful for her. It seemed like a long time before the paramedics arrived and did their stuff but she is alive but I feel for her when she wakes up because of what all we did to her. So it’s been a while and I guess soon I will start getting deposits in my account and all and eventually I will get off nights and maybe actually do some farming. I think DH is afraid due to his health and is acting out at times. The 25th can’t come fast enough for me. I am off that night anyway and I will take the following night off as well just to be safe and be with him for the ablation. God willing that will at least fix one of his problems….the worst one.
I think I need to remind DH to make a few rabbit nests. I can’t remember the dates but he finally got some action going and wrote it down somewhere. He was supposed to bring that buck to my place and to where we are currently staying and get lots of babies. Good heart healthy meat. Lean….cheap etc….
I am waiting for a man with certain mechanical skills to fix my vehicles and some of my equipment to clean up….a lawnmower and a wood chipper. I might be in the market for a woman friendly chainsaw to do some Ida cleaning. Wonder what I can find that runs by battery. Don’t guess it would work for long 🤷‍♀️
More and more I just want to set up the camper in the orchard off grid. My cousin ordered himself a solar kit for $2500 and I have been waiting for him to give me his review on it.
Ukraine is about to be getting a bunch of stuff to help take back their country but the rest of the details I don’t know because DS said he has to be quiet because ‘they’ are watching. But it’s no secret that help is coming and if my boy is losing all his equipment for Ukraine I can tell y’all….watch the news and pray. If it wasn’t for this he would be with me. A lot of military is on call. These men feel connected to their equipment like as if it was their personal property but he said the soldiers that have been reporting to him with equipment, waiting for the plane were glad to present it for the people of Ukraine. Can y’all imagine what it must be like over there? Oh…I would be baking poison pies too. I would cook a big gumbo outside and make it smell delicious and then when I see who all shows up I would drop in
Oleander instead of Bay Leaves and then smile and take a walk. There is a monster in me I know. I can save your life…it’s true.. and I will fight the Grim Reaper for you but come here and start killing my people and see what I would do. Is this self sufficient?? I am afraid it is. I don’t think any of us should assume we are ever 100% safe. Well I think tonight is my last night of work followed by one night off then 4 straight nights or something. I got some compression socks and used a pair last night. Seems like I have less pain today. You old geezers…get y’all some compression socks!!
 
I am awoke!! And furthermore I am actually off a night. Phone was going crazy while I rested. Had so many notifications. DS told me….Mission Accomplished. I honestly don’t know what he will do now. He has no equipment. I see DH moved the goat closer to the house. He is burning sticks he ordinarily wants to save for barbecue and I hear him grumbling about something. He has been in a mood since last night because someone recognized him at a restaurant and yelled Hey Bigfoot!! And started talking loud and the manager wanted us to all go in a back room and be quiet. He didn’t even know that man but I did. I had to remind him the name and family. But I could tell it hurt him. Now I find out a neighbor reported the goat was ‘tangled.’ It wasn’t tangled. It was tethered on a shortened chain and still hadn’t cleaned around the garden. Man couldn’t ask DH about it so he tells his cousin at work who called DH’s 86 year old aunt who then called us. Well the goat is now closer to the house (and invisible to the neighbors). But DH is so aggravated. Opposites attract I guess. I try to give my peace but it’s hard. I really gotta just get this man in the woods away from people. He doesn’t do good in neighborhoods. Maybe I want it too. I feel him but I don’t get as affected by small stuff. Grrrr.
 
Monday DH had a cardiac ablation. I just felt his pulse. About every 27 beats I feel an abnormality but it’s much better than before. He played in the garden today. Maybe he shouldn’t have but it had been bothering him. I cooked a gumbo today with a chicken and duck he had slaughtered before the surgery. It’s really good because I added oyster water and a few oysters. I missed a few nights of work because of the surgery but I have been offered a $150 bonus to go in Saturday night…tomorrow. I interviewed Wednesday morning for a bridge tender position and I am just waiting to see if I am selected. Trouble attacked Snoopy again and I shoved her in a crate after fussing her. I don’t think she did it to injure because she would have and I don’t see any sign of injury. I really think she is just being a bully. But I told DH one day she will hurt someone else’s pet and he will have no choice but to put her down. I let Trouble see Snoopy having full range of the house and hanging out with us while she was crated. She is a time bomb. I swear after these animals go to Heaven I only want a rat terrier…maybe a miniature. Night shift messes with my sleep schedule bad.
 
I am on my first of 4 nights. Last night was extra, in more ways than one. I am on a little break and waiting for my vitals so I can finish up a few things before getting ready for morning and ordering the meds.
DD asked me to pick her up at the ex’s house and I said we staying on the other side of the bayou because I saw someone was throwing away an ironing board so we picked it up but I can’t close it and then fed my farm and then DH’s farm and took the ironing board inside so I can use it for sewing. Just had to bring the top for washing. Free is always nice.
 
I am home 😔. I am supposed to at work. I just got back from the city. I had to take DH to the hospital after letting him go to the doctor for a well visit. Not so well actually. He is officially back in atrial fib but he was in some kind of rhythm that I never even heard of… doc called it atrial flutter 🤷‍♀️ His heart was seriously racing and he got two IV pushes of medicine to decrease the pulse and released him.
Went to Waffle House cuz nothing else open and was getting kinda concerned about the people who were showing up. I am sure I have never been in a place where so many women made me feel that uncomfortable before. And I am afraid the service was really bad but I didn’t complain.
So I am going on my off time early. Well I got green beans and potatoes I could harvest and we need to get a ton of corn by the river tomorrow.
 
Yesterday DH was seen by the cardiologist and at first he was going to get shocked back into a normal rhythm but then they decided on medication. He left the room and the nurse came back in and said he was stopping one med and putting him on Narvasc and Digoxin. I don’t know why Digoxin shocked me so much. DH must have been looking at me. He thought I was opposed but really I was just shocked. I had to think it through is all. So I was very careful with his pill planner and told him to make 100% sure he gets the days right for the next three days.
We came home and took a nap after the appointment and then we hit the garden brought in yellow squash and green beans and blanched them both. So more put up in the freezer and I am cooking green beans with ham and onions right now and making a crockpot squash cake with keto pancake mix and about 8 eggs. DH was talking about culling a few useless rabbits. Would be nice to roast some kind of meat to go with the food I am cooking. Even a sausage link would be great. 🤷‍♀️
So I checked DH’s pulse and then told him to take his meds. We almost had a fistfight when I told him to show me his phone so I can just look at the clock on the front. He tried to help me by pulling up the stopwatch. He didn’t understand why I couldn’t check his pulse with that. Poor thing. Can’t teach an old dog (me) new tricks.
I can’t deal much with DH’s method of gardening because it’s so messy. He believes in a traditional garden with rows and I prefer my moms method with heavy mulch to control the grass and weeds. I swear I kept thinking a snake would pass right between my legs yesterday. I pulled grass and weeds as I harvested while he just harvested and it looked like I wasn’t doing anything. I brought a shower chair in the garden to sit down while harvesting and DH covered more ground than me. I passed through the row he had covered and managed to find about 8 yellow squash he had missed but he still brought more vegetables inside. Maybe next time I go in the garden I bring a bucket for the grass for free animal food before we harvest for ourselves.
 
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