A Craigslist ad you have GOT to see!

[Beekissed]

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.

I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

 

[Up-the-Creek]

Now days you just never know who is packing.

 

[dragonlaurel]

I just had to read that to my husband, since it reminded me so much of him. He was walking home one night in the Keys and somebody stepped out of the trees and put a knife to his back- saying "give me your wallet". The mugger didn't study his target well enough obviously. Hubby reached back like he was cooperating, using his elbow to move the knife away, flipped the would be mugger, and " kept kicking him till he stopped squirming".
Then he tossed the guys knife and shoes into the ocean and took his clothes and his wallet. He got rid of the wallet and kept the money. The guy probably didn't enjoy waking up naked, on the sidewalk in Key West, but he wont ever forget that some people should not be messed with.
I hope he was embarrassed enough to leave town and grow a brain.

 

[Beekissed]

WOW!!! Gotta love your hubby!!! Don't much make men like that anymore......

 

[Denim Deb]

Sorry, Bee, but the letter is fake. http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

DL, good for your hubby! Can you imagine if that guy tried to explain to the police? Can you describe your attacker. No, I never saw his face. What happened? Well, I tried to rob him at knife point......

 

[BarredBuff]

Real or not. VERY WEIRD. But funny.

DL, thats way to funny!!

 

[FarmerChick]

message I think would be fake cause no idiot would post that they called the FBI and gave fake threats about the Pres etc. lol

funny thing is if it was real, and they got him, he would be in jail and not the attacker

but funny cause all stuff we would love to do to some criminal anyway

 

[Beekissed]

Got it in an email and can derive from the date that it couldn't be real or we would have heard of it long ago....but it's still real funny!!!!

 

[TanksHill]

Very funny read, thanks Bee.

 

[CrimsonRose]

wow that's awesome!