At home births and midwives

[Damummis]

My first was born at home. Bad choice. Both girls were born with lung surfactant deficiencies. Both had lung problems. #1 also had a Rh incompatibility which caused severe jaundice that required hospitalization. I should of had her in the hospital. It was traumatic for both of us. I wish it hadn't.

 

[mom2bbjandag]

I have given birth to four babies, all healthy, but I had my own complications. With each birth I hemorrhaged worse, being given blood the 3rd & 4th times ("borderline" 2nd time & they gave me the option, I chose no). 4th time I was 'out of it' enough that I barely knew what was going on at the time...

4th child I chose to use a midwife. Wish I had done that all 4 times. Also wish I had known about what is termed self-hypnosis, a sort of oxymoron, but that's what it's called. Helped *tremendously* with labor. I gave birth in a hospital, knowing the risks I faced as well as what I consider to be risks associated with hospitals in general. Really really liked the place where my 4th child was born. Will be glad to give details if anyone wants. But I stayed home right up until "the moment." Baby was born about 45 minutes after our arrival.

After the last baby was born and I had severe problems, the midwife determined that he had enough trouble breathing that she needed to send him to another town to a larger hospital with a neonatal unit. While I most certainly appreciate her concerns and the choice she made, just a few hours later it was decided - at that other hospital - that they would keep my baby until he had, as the neonatal unit nurse put it to me, "taken a whole bottle." Nope. Not gonna happen. I called in the midwife, we discussed at great length what happened, what was going on now, and what could be expected. She agreed with me that it would be fine to have my baby boy returned to me immediately, and she got it done. My mom and husband brought him to me, and the nurse saw to it that I could stay another night in the hospital if I chose, or I could take him on home.

Long story short, DO NOT let anyone dictate to you what they say MUST be done. You do have options, at any time. Choose wisely. Educate yourself. Look at all options, be open-minded to things you may not know a lot about (I was... I had never heard of self-hypnosis). Go with your gut feeling, what feels right to you, and you will make the best decision possible.

Oh yeah, one thing I remember well during the actual labor... I asked the midwife, can I lay on my side to deliver? (I was still a little hesitant to stray outside the box) She said "Honey, you can deliver standing on your head if that's what makes you feel better. This baby will get here, on his own, one way or another."

 

[hwillm1977]

I had my first baby last November... I went to the hospital because at home births are not 'technically' legal here, plus living 1 hour and 45 minutes from the hospital it was too much of a risk to me if something went wrong help is WAY too far away.

I went in to the hospital requesting as natural as possible a birth... my water broke, 25 hours of contractions later and I hadn't even started to dialate, so I got pitocin? to speed things up... 10 more hours later and I was finally ready to push, I got an epidural at hour 32... I pushed for 6 hours, and NOTHING happened other than some broken blood vessels in my face... baby was in distress, stuck in the birth canal, heart rate dropping... they tried with a vacuum but that didn't work... I ended up with a c-section that they were prepping me for while running down a hallway to the OR... 41 hours after my water breaking Aeryn arrived...

I will try for a VBAC for my next one, but it is definitely going to be in a hospital... if I had stayed home I could have lost either the baby or myself. I am healthy, great blood pressure, not very overweight, run daily... she was perfectly healthy, just big and turned sideways (they tried for what seemed like eternity to turn her).

 

[Kala]

thanks for so many replies!!

So where did you all find out about your local options? Like the midwife hospital units?

 

[AnnaRaven]

thanks for so many replies!!

So where did you all find out about your local options? Like the midwife hospital units?

I just searched for the local hospitals to see what they had. I had to do it at the library because there was no google back then.

 

[mom2bbjandag]

Word of mouth. Asked everyone I saw or spoke with. Received lots of "but why would you want to???" comments which I ignored or responded to politely, but I did eventually talk to someone who understood and knew.

 

[Kala]

Thanks!!

I'll have to look into it more. I'd like to try an at home birth, but unfortunately the nearest hospital that has an OB would just be too far away I think if complications were to arise. And just because "I'm healthy" doesn't mean things wouldn't happen.

Thank you all so much for all your comments, good and bad experiences alike! It's good to have all sorts of opinions when searching through your options. Both my husband and myself work in hospitals. He's in surgery so he sees lots of the bad ones so we're trying to find the safest middle ground option possible.

 

[mrbstephens]

Underwater with a midwife here, room darkened, candlelight and music. Great experience.

My sister had 3 out of 4 babies at home with a midwife. Her very first ended in a c-section at the hospital, but all the rest came out the right way.

An actual VBAC?! I thought they were just a magical myth. Good for her!!!!!!!!

 

[mrbstephens]

Homebirth with both of my children. Best experiences of my life!
I recommend that if you are considering it to find a midwife you like. Know that she will evaluate you to make sure you are a good candidate for a homebirth. You have to be low risk, meaning of good health. She wouldn't want to deliver your baby if you are at risk of complications. You will also make a plan in case there is an emergency you will both head to the hospital.
Most likely than not, you will have a beautiful experience you will never forget.

 

[MsPony]

No matter what you *want*, do what you *need*.

I would love a birth that BBH had (romancing the child out, LOL!) but, I'm high risk. Big babies run in hubbys family, the cord was wrapped around his neck and my mom almost bled to death having me. I'm going to have to chose what's right, something like the midwife section of the hospital.