Bee~ Journal of then...

[Farmfresh]

Just count your blessings ORChick!

We need a few folks like you around so we can know there ARE normal loving families around.

 

[dragonlaurel]

I am beginning to think that I am decidedly strange . My brothers and I get along great; I really like my sisters-in-law. I am developing a very nice relationship with my half-sister - it was distance, and age difference that kept us from knowing each other better, and the internet, and both of us growing older are helping on both counts. I love my DH's siblings, and their partners, and the feeling appears to be mutual. My parents and parents-in-law are no longer here, but mine loved DH, and his loved me.
What's wrong with me? How can I ever learn to be self sufficient if we all get along?
Actually, I am very sorry that so many of you have such outrageous family members; it boggles my mind that anyone, especially family, can do the things you have written that they do.

OrChick- You might be strange - a loving family. Hmmmmmm. We'll still let you play with us.
We may have started for different reasons, but we're all learning more ways to get by and can help each other on the path.
Maybe you can pass the info/skills along to other functional people too.

 

[FarmerDenise]

In spite of or because of my upbringing, my brother, sister and I are very close. And even though there was abuse in my family, we also were taught some wonderfull and good healthy skills. We also knew we were loved. Even though some awfully creepy things were done to us. Primarily by my father, who could be a bit of a tyrant.
My mother taught us a lot of great coping skills, after all both my parents grew up during a war in Europe. They did not have normal childhoods by any means. They saw and experienced horrors no child should have an incling about. So, even though I by no means condone what was done to us, I also feel my parents tried real hard to make our childhood a whole lot better than what they had. And we did, for the most part.
There are normal growing up experiences that I never had and I wish I did, but I was able to make sure my daughter did have a healthy and normal childhood.
I broke the chain of abuse.
Actually I busted it wide open in my family and everyone ended up going through a lot of healing because of it. Including aunt Lucy. Unfortunately aunt Lucy was too twisted to really come out of it. As is another aunt, but that is a story for another time.
Now most of my family is very close (at least my immediate family) and we can talk about everything and anything.

 

[ORChick]

Awww, thanks, guys.

I must be spoiled, but it seems incredible to me that family members can sometimes be so hateful to each other.

My brothers and I *snipe* at one another a lot, but in a loving way. DH asked me once why I couldn't be nicer to my eldest brother. I said that if I did, he would would think I was sick. The next time we saw him I asked what he would think if I told him I loved him? He said "I'd think you were sick".

 

[Beekissed]

Same here, FD! Had a creepy, touchy-feely uncle who liked to fondle young kids....and more. I was the first kid to tell my mother about it and that kind of exposed that but didn't really stop it happening to other kids, my siblings and cousins. My mother did nothing for fear my Dad would kill my uncle and she would be a prison "widow" raising nine kids by herself. In retrospect, she feels like she should have done more to protect all those children. As usual, she put my Dad's welfare ahead of all else. My uncle finally killed himself but not really soon enough....

ORChick, you are not strange....merely have a normal family. I wish there were more normal families out there. I guess if there were, folks wouldn't grow as strong as they do. I guess our families are our first level of adversity, starting with sibling rivalry.

Aly, you are truly blessed with that husband of yours!

I guess it takes a lot of abrasion to produce a finished, smooth gem that is pretty to look upon...and some are born and live without the need for much polishing, while others get polished by life into a high sheen. Either way, God seems to use all the bad things folks do to each other for His good. I'm very glad He takes the time to see that we shine!

 

[Farmfresh]

Another possibility is that ORChick's family is just further along in the healing process.

Lots of us came from really bad places, but we have tired to make it better for our children. I think I have succeeded in that to at least a modest degree. If our children do the same perhaps their children can grow up in "normal" functional families like yours Chick!

Perhaps if you could look back into the past, there was a brave strong relative who broke out of a dysfunctional environment as well and changed things for you! You probably will never be able to know, however, people never talked about "things like that" back then. Even in today's open times, I will never tell my children about all of the struggles that I went through in my crazy family.

Instead we try to focus on the funnier crazies in the family. Like my Uncles Bob and Ernie who could not figure out how to turn off a TV or my Aunt who was so OCD she washed all of the paint off of her refrigerator! (By the way that same Aunt was a dairy farmer commercially ... you have never seen a cleaner dairy! )

 

[Beekissed]

Just think of all those poor cows with raw udders.....

 

[Beekissed]

Gathered first apples today and they sure are ugly! Most misshapen apples I've had yet, with worm holes galore. Good and sweet, though, so they should make some great apple juice/cider!

Had to fight the yellow jackets for them just as soon as they came off the tree!

Not the best year for quality or quantity of apples, the best trees had only a few and they were diseased and fell early. As usual, the red delicious are loaded and look great....and taste bland.

Why is it always the icky apples that do so well? Is it because even the worms don't like them?

Will can up some for sauce and juice but probably won't have enough to do apple butter. I guess I'll have to bring juice and sauce to Justusnak's SS Gathering next year!

I will probably use the red delicious to make some apple head dolls.

 

[Beekissed]

The moon and night sky is just stunning tonight, y'all! The moon is so bright that it almost hurts to look at it and it highlights the mountains with a glow....just spectacular!

 

[big brown horse]

Just think of all those poor cows with raw udders.....

I really only have a bad sister. The rest of my family is awesome. All strange compared to most, but awesome.

For the last 3 Thanksgivings, my mom rented an old German dance hall and we brought pot luck and rollerskated all afternoon in it. Every year more and more friends sneak out on their Thanksgiving get togethers to join us.

Every Christmas we have our family portrait taken on my mom and dad's front steps. We are allowed to bring anyone we want to join our Christmas party and they are welcome to sit with us for the photo session (which consists of my bro-in-law getting the camera ready and running to join the rest of us). We have tons of photos full of people we sometimes don't even remember. Its all good says ma!


Bee, your night sounds wonderful!!!!!