Children's chores.

[big brown horse]

Wildsky, one tip that I can give you that worked for me: I didn't take NO for an answer. I never let her "get out of it" no matter what, rain or snow or shine. (Now she rarely complains.)

Every year older she gets I add one more big chore. We talk about what it will be before hand and come to some sort of agreement on it before her birthday arrives.

 

[gettinaclue]

DD (11 - 12 in about a week) is responsible for the animals having fresh clean water at all times (except the chickens - that waterer is her nemisis LOL) She is also responsible for feeding them in the am before school.

She must also fold the laundry if it needs it (mostly it doesn't since I tend to fold it coming off the line before I put it in the basket - less wrinkles), straightening the living room every once in a while when I ask (generally I do this but ask her to help from time to time).

She also has to set the table and put all the dishes away.

She will watch DS while I'm cooking or get him a snack when I'm busy with scrubbing floors or bathrooms. She often looks after him on the weekends in the am so I can sleep in (bless her heart).

She helps him keep the den clean (his current play room - but has just been cleaned out and old toys destined for Goodwill).

She obviously has to keep her room clean, put away her clothes, and clean her own bathroom.

She stays pretty busy mostly. Homework (she only had one B on her last report card - the rest we A's), chores, helping with her little brother, sometimes helps me with dinner.

I find myself looking for things to interest her so she can branch out and enjoy other things and not be such a home body LOL. I would love to get her involved in 4H if she shows any interest.

 

[Wildsky]

I'm going to make a list of things and post it on the fridge.

I have been putting $20 a WEEK away for each child, as a savings of sorts (in little boxes in my sewing room) and they still get other toys/treats on a weekly basis.

I bought my son a kindle a few weeks ago he reads so fast and the books just pile up.. he likes the recent series books, so the kindle has saved us in storage space and him carrying books back and forth. SPOILED I said!

Both kids do make sure the dog has food and water, but I've since stopped feeding the dog bagged kibble type food, so now I feed her a raw diet I prefer the kids not to handle. (raw chicken etc)

They do put their washed folded laundry away, but I think its time they learned how that machine works, they can run a load at night, I'll hang it or dry it in the morning while they're at school and they can put it away when they get home.

Got to write a list...............

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

My oldest two kids both have their own pet chickens - so they are responsible for feeding/watering them and assisting me with cleaning of their pens. They are 11 and 9.

9 and 6 year old both have a dog to feed and water.

They all help with hauling water (except baby boy).

All kids (including baby boy) are responsible for cleaning their rooms. Baby boy is still learning to pick up toys, but it's a start.

The oldest 4 are responsible for making their own beds.

The oldest 3 put away their own clothes.

We started each and every child out in the toddler ages on small chores/responsibilities.

For example: each child's first chore was to learn to throw their own diaper away starting from the time they could walk. I'm not kidding. Baby boy is 21 months old, and he knows to throw away his own dirty "butt" as we call it, and we're working on potty training.

Baby boy also is responsible for bringing us his own shoes when we're getting ready to go somewhere.

may sound silly, but it's small responsibilities. It's much easier to start with small ones when they are small and work up to bigger responsibilities as they grow.

 

[Wildsky]

Wildsky, one tip that I can give you that worked for me: I didn't take NO for an answer. I never let her "get out of it" no matter what, rain or snow or shine. (Now she rarely complains.)

Every year older she gets I add one more big chore. We talk about what it will be before hand and come to some sort of agreement on it before her birthday arrives.

I seriously have the brattiest little 6 year old on the planet. she regularly throws fits about one thing or another, I rather do it myself than listen to her HOWL for hours.

A thing that happened the other day, I took her back pack so she could get her shoes on when we left the house, she absolutly melted down, she was howling still when we got to the school... some days I just really don't understand her at all, its like she's from another planet.
My 10 year old is just as frustrated with her, and he'll do things to set her off, the arguments go back and forth till nobody knows how it started, and they argue about the most silly little things, just to annoy each other.

They share a room which needs to come to a stop. Problem is, our "spare" room is used for Mother in law when she comes to visit, I just can't keep a room "spare" for her visits anymore - they (DH and her) will have to figure it out! (they'll pick on my sewing room I just know it!!!)
We have a four bedroom house, 2 upstairs, 2 down, upstairs is the kids room and our room, downstairs my sewing room and G'ma's room.... so this has to change, and I don't know how its going to work...

 

[miss_thenorth]

My kids also get $20 a month. My son works at the neighbours farm one day aweek, and he gets $20 for that. I buy essentials--clothes to keep them covered, toiletries etc. If they want extras, they pay for it themselves.

I don't work outside the home. my chores consist of barn duties morning and night, I cook, do basic cleaning, laundry, baking, grocery shopping, errands, etc. Hubby works, but also has to do things like fix the cars etc when necessary. If hubby or I need help with anything, it is my children's responsibility to help out as needed. I don't add extra chores as time progresses anymore, they are at an age where they can help with all things.

The general rule is work first, then play. If I or hubby need help with something, your play is interrupted till we are done, then they can go back to playing. I also have a rule that if their friends eat or sleep here, they get to help out as needed too. All the kids know this, and I have no problems with the friends helping out either.

 

[Aidenbaby]

Wildsky, I definitely understand the tantrums. My 4yo wanted to sit at the head of the table for dinner and I informed him that Dada (dh) sits there. He promptly threw the biggest tantrum we've seen in ages. He'd been in an ornery mood all day, as well. Our decision was that he go to his room for the night... including dinner. He started throwing the few toys we keep in his room and we told him that if it didn't stop, we'd throw them in the trash... he stopped. Well, he ended up having his pitty party last for so long that the rest of us finished our dinner before he even got his. After he at,e it was bath and bed. He hasn't behaved like that for the last week and a half.

After reading how other's keep their kids occupied via chores, I'm thinking we're going to start having everyone do chores. Yes, even our two year old. She can fill a bowl of cat food or put a scoop of dog food down for him (with supervision). Aiden is already good about collecting eggs even though I'm always terrified he'll break them all. He also seems to have bonded with the rabbit and can even feed her by hand (I sure can't).

It seems that I'll be working up a chore chart later today for everyone.

 

[Wildsky]

Wildsky, I definitely understand the tantrums. My 4yo wanted to sit at the head of the table for dinner and I informed him that Dada (dh) sits there. He promptly threw the biggest tantrum we've seen in ages. He'd been in an ornery mood all day, as well. Our decision was that he go to his room for the night... including dinner. He started throwing the few toys we keep in his room and we told him that if it didn't stop, we'd throw them in the trash... he stopped. Well, he ended up having his pitty party last for so long that the rest of us finished our dinner before he even got his. After he at,e it was bath and bed. He hasn't behaved like that for the last week and a half.

My daughter threw a tantrum one afternoon after I sent her to her room, she found paper and a couple of books and tore them to shreds!
Then I was so angry I couldn't talk!

I get so tired of it, that most times its just easier to do things myself, so much easier to pick up the toys myself than to fight all afternoon long with her............. she has me figured out thats for sure. Time to turn the tables - I'm just not sure how!

 

[FarmerDenise]

Wildsky, do you ever watch "Supernanny"? They have some terrific ideas on how to handle children that throw tantrums and such.

I started DD in her high chair. After her meal, I handed her a sponge to clean up the little table, then I'd give her a towel to dry it. We went on from there. She would have to put her toys away. I made boxes and posted pictures on them of what kid of toy belonged in each box. So it also became a sorting game.
By the time she was 11, she helped with grocery shopping. She didn't like what we had in the house: "There is nothing to eat". That's because she didn't want to make a sandwhich and wanted easy snack food. So I gave her an allowance to spend when we went grocery shopping. I told her whatever she got, she had to make it last until the following weeks shopping trip. It didn't take long for her to figure it out.

She is now a very capable young woman with a household of her own. She definitely appreciates all she learned as a child.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Wildsky, I'm not sure how to help, because as parents, we all discipline differently.

Frankly, I would have (and have) paddled my child's bottom for tearing up paper and books. But, that's me, and my parenting style.

I have found that taking away something that is special to them also works. for example, my boys love their legos. If they throw a tantrum, don't clean their room, don't follow directions given to them by us, they lose the legos indefinitely. If they ask for the legos (or any other special item that we've taken) to be returned, they wait even longer to get them back. I make it quite clear that the revoked items will only be returned when I deem necessary.

When we send our children to their rooms, we tell them they are not to touch anything in their room - no toys, books, etc. They are to go straight to their bed and lay down on the bed as if to take a nap. This is usually just for ten minutes, unless we catch them up playing or with toys in their bed, then the time limit starts over.

We have a no tolerance for tantrums here. The individually who throws the tantrum absolutely positively doesn't get their own way - no matter what.

Also, instead of giving attention to bad behaviors, try rewarding the good behaviors.

Biggest key is consistency. Once you find what works, keep with it. You will not stop the tantrums overnight, probably not even within in a week. It could take a month or over a month or longer to break the tantrums.

Be firm - not mean, just firm.

Also, if you don't mind a suggestion, on the occassions your son "sets her off" and causes an argument, I'd send him to his room, too, or take away something special.

My kids do not get TV priveleges, except maybe one time a week. I ignore any whining about it. When they ask to watch TV the answer is a l w a y s no. Not seldom, A L W A Y S. I tell them, "you have two options, go outside to play or play quietly in your room." if they whine about that, I choose for them. If the weather's nice, I make them play outside.

They do get that 1 time a week TV privelege, but they have to have kept their rooms clean all week, not given any lip, not thrown a tantrum, and then it's a movie/show of mom or dad's choice, not theirs.

Like I said, we all parent differently, and you may not like anything I said, and that's OK. I'm just trying to share what's worked for us.