Communicating what you mean..

Quail_Antwerp

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This clipping came from the Tennessee Press, official publication of the Tennessee Press Association, and was dated February, 1970. They had 16 excerpts from actual letters dealing with aid to needy children, and received at a county welfare office. Tennessee Press took this from the Perryville, Missouri, Monitor, a local paper there. I thought you might get as much of a chuckle as I did the first time I read them and when I found them again recently. Here goes:

1. I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?

2. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

3. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I had seven, but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

4. Sirs: I am glad to say that my husband who was reported missing, is now dead.

5. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children, one of which was a mistake.

6. I am writing to say that my baby was born two years ago. When do I get the money?

7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am living with now can't eat or do anything until he knows.

8. I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my child illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married to his father a week before he was born.

9. In answer to your letter I have given birth to a boy, weighing ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

10. Unless I get husband money very soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

11. You have changed my little boy into a girl. Will this make any difference?

12. Please send me money at once, as I have fallen in error with my husband.

13. I have no children yet. My husband is a bus driver, and works day and night.

14. In accordance with your instruction, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

15. I want my money quick as I can get it. I have been bed with my doctor for two weeks but he doesn't seem to be doing me any good, if things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

16. My husband had his project cut off two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.

Sometimes it's a problem to communicate and say what you mean, isn't it?
 

Dace

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8. I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my child illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married to his father a week before he was born.

I thought that one was hilarious till I read a little further down to....

15. I want my money quick as I can get it. I have been bed with my doctor for two weeks but he doesn't seem to be doing me any good, if things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

:gig :gig
Too funny!
 

Tallman

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Quail_Antwerp said:
16. My husband had his project cut off two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.
Quail,

Hardly and I are somewhat confused about number 16. Could you explain?

:hu

Tallman & Hardly
 

Quail_Antwerp

Cold is on the Right, Hot is on The Left
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Tallman said:
Quail_Antwerp said:
16. My husband had his project cut off two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.
Quail,

Hardly and I are somewhat confused about number 16. Could you explain?

:hu

Tallman & Hardly
Yea, it confused me, too.

I have me an idee, but I refuse to elaborate on dat un!
 
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