Hardest. Day. EVER!
I had to do something today that I never, ever wanted to do. My mother has been depressed for several years and even worse, she has some serious paranoid delusions. Everybody is out to get her - even my brother and his wife who live next door and take care of mom and dad are bad guys in her eyes.
My dad hasn't driven for a couple of years. Mom rarely drives, but for whatever reason has started back recently. Unfortunately, she gets turned around, gets lost, can't find her truck wherever she leaves it in a parking lot and just shouldn't be behind the wheel. My brother told her she can't drive anymore. She's angry and it just adds fuel to the fire of her depression and even more so her paranoia.
She's SUPPOSED to be on anti depressants, but I found out that she's not taking them. It's pretty obvious by her behavior anyway. Right after my sister passed away, 3 years ago, my mom threatened suicide a couple of times which is when she was prescribed anti-depressants.
A couple of days ago she told me that my brother took her keys away. She said that before she would be a prisoner in her own home she would shoot my dad and then shoot herself. When I say that the hairs on my neck stood up when she said that - it was more like every hair on my body stood up. I told her then that I certainly didn't want that to happen and that I'd always be there to take her somewhere if she needed it. I live over an hour away - my brother lives next door to them.
My brother and I talked and decided that we had to get the guns out of the house. My dad used to be a hunter and had 3 or 4 long-guns and 4 or 5 pistols. Both of my parents have concealed handgun licenses and keep guns with them at all times.
I called mom last night and told her I was coming down today to help her with the house They had a pipe break and had a lot of water damage a few days ago. When I got there she was in tears. I told her how worried I was about her and asked her what we could do to help her and make her happier. She told me that I shouldn't ask her that because her answer wouldn't make me happy. So, I asked her again. She stuck her finger up to her temple, said 'bang' and said this is what I want. OMG! At that very moment I knew that there was no other options than to get the guns out. I was crying, she was crying, my dad was crying, my brother was crying. We got the guns out while everybody was on board. My dad is practically deaf and has a terrible memory - like barely 5 minutes before he's wanting to know what's going on... So we had to keep explaining to him what we were doing and why.
Mom was pissed! She sulked like a child, then got ugly, then got quiet, then seemed to accept it. Later I took her shopping and she's already turning the story around. Now my brother is a manipulator - he's wanted to get his hand on those guns for years - she's a perfect driver, and alllll of this is his fault. OMG! My head hurts... but even more...my heart hurts.
it is so hard to parent a parent. could you make her a doctors appointment and go with her and talk about what is going on? would she let you set up her meds so she will take them correctly? i tried for years to set mom's meds but she refused, and she had antidepressants she needed to take too. I'm so glad you got the guns out of the house for everyone's safety. the rest of her journey is going to be hard for everyone. my best advice is to make a big effort to be there for her and for your brother. this has got to be so hard for him too. i have 4 sisters and 3 of them never came around when mom was alive because she could be a pia but now that she is gone they are all boohoo i miss mom. where were they when she and i needed them. just try to go once a week to take her shopping or whatever, she'll enjoy it and it will give him a break. remember you have friends here that got your back. 
