Funny Craigslist Ad
- Thread starter big brown horse
- Start date
Jamsoundsgood
Lovin' The Homestead
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2009
- Messages
- 200
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How in the heck did I miss this one?
freemotion
Food Guru
- Thread starter
- #5
big brown horse
Hoof In Mouth
I love people with a sense of humor, don't you?
freemotion
Food Guru
And a clever one. That was priceless! Where is wifezilla? Another nominee for the SWKEA, btw, oh wifey!!!
- Thread starter
- #8
big brown horse
Hoof In Mouth
I am afraid to admit that I don't know what that is. 
I think I'll copy and paste the ad here jic someone buys it and the ad gets deleted.
I think I'll copy and paste the ad here jic someone buys it and the ad gets deleted.
- Thread starter
- #9
big brown horse
Hoof In Mouth
Zombie Weapons/Garden Tools - $100
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Let's be honest here...Romero had it right. One day, some lab worker in a secret underground government laboratory will drop a vial of mutated flu virus and BAM! The world will be overrun with the undead. What if you can't get to a shopping mall that is filled with usable weapons to defend yourself against the ravening horde? What if you are currently woefully under-equipped in the bludgeoning weapon category? What if you don't live near a Home Depot??
That's where I come in.
I happen to have a wall of weapons that will be absolutely fantastic in dispatching the undead to their final, complete demise.
Included in this sale are the following:
2 rakes - a lightweight one for clearing debris and a heavy-duty metal one for clearing bigger...debris.
A 24" electric Hedge Hog hedge trimmer - perfect for keeping the hedges neat and low so that you can see what's coming toward your house.
A 6' extension cord - very helpful with the electric hedge trimmer or to power a generator for nighttime lighting during eveing attacks.
A snow shovel - you're going to need this to clean up your sidewalk.
A long-handled shovel - the stuff isn't going to bury itself, you know.
A 24" squeegee - for the wet stuff; you don't want anyone to slip.
2 metal hoes - one that is the traditional hoe and another that is the type with 4 prongs. Time to hoe some zombies!!!
A pair of pruning shears - for any...loose ends.
A 24" push broom - again, clean up is essential to maintain the pristine look of your home, zombie apocalypse or not.
An axe, just like a lumberjack! A whack here and a whack there and that zombie issue is just a memory!
A hatchet - smaller than the axe, but just as effective. Maybe the kids can use it?
A really awesome pick with a flat blade on the other end - this really needs no more description, does it? It's effectiveness speaks for itself.
A metal mallet - can you say blunt force trauma?
A short-handled shovel - just face it, you're gonna be digging holes.
A gas powered lawn edger - just to tidy things up in the aftermath.
A machete - good for close-quarter confrontations.
All of the electric/gas powered tools work just fine with no problems. The rest of the tools have been used over the years and show regular wear and tear, but all are very serviceable. The reason we are selling is that we are moving to a hidden underground bunker to wait out the zombie infestation. So, no real need to trim lawns.
A picture is below that gives you a general idea of what the tools look like. Please feel free to ask for details or more photos if you would like. Cash only, you pick up.
Of course, all of this stuff could be used for gardening. You know, just until the zombies turn up.
Thanks for looking!
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Let's be honest here...Romero had it right. One day, some lab worker in a secret underground government laboratory will drop a vial of mutated flu virus and BAM! The world will be overrun with the undead. What if you can't get to a shopping mall that is filled with usable weapons to defend yourself against the ravening horde? What if you are currently woefully under-equipped in the bludgeoning weapon category? What if you don't live near a Home Depot??
That's where I come in.
I happen to have a wall of weapons that will be absolutely fantastic in dispatching the undead to their final, complete demise.
Included in this sale are the following:
2 rakes - a lightweight one for clearing debris and a heavy-duty metal one for clearing bigger...debris.
A 24" electric Hedge Hog hedge trimmer - perfect for keeping the hedges neat and low so that you can see what's coming toward your house.
A 6' extension cord - very helpful with the electric hedge trimmer or to power a generator for nighttime lighting during eveing attacks.
A snow shovel - you're going to need this to clean up your sidewalk.
A long-handled shovel - the stuff isn't going to bury itself, you know.
A 24" squeegee - for the wet stuff; you don't want anyone to slip.
2 metal hoes - one that is the traditional hoe and another that is the type with 4 prongs. Time to hoe some zombies!!!
A pair of pruning shears - for any...loose ends.
A 24" push broom - again, clean up is essential to maintain the pristine look of your home, zombie apocalypse or not.
An axe, just like a lumberjack! A whack here and a whack there and that zombie issue is just a memory!
A hatchet - smaller than the axe, but just as effective. Maybe the kids can use it?
A really awesome pick with a flat blade on the other end - this really needs no more description, does it? It's effectiveness speaks for itself.
A metal mallet - can you say blunt force trauma?
A short-handled shovel - just face it, you're gonna be digging holes.
A gas powered lawn edger - just to tidy things up in the aftermath.
A machete - good for close-quarter confrontations.
All of the electric/gas powered tools work just fine with no problems. The rest of the tools have been used over the years and show regular wear and tear, but all are very serviceable. The reason we are selling is that we are moving to a hidden underground bunker to wait out the zombie infestation. So, no real need to trim lawns.
A picture is below that gives you a general idea of what the tools look like. Please feel free to ask for details or more photos if you would like. Cash only, you pick up.
Of course, all of this stuff could be used for gardening. You know, just until the zombies turn up.
Thanks for looking!
Blackbird
Goat Whisperer
