Gasp! family NOT supportive part time income from raising chickens

[maf8009]

Hi,

I really need some supportive messages..... My family is not supportive AT ALL of my venture of raising chickens, (or assisting with anything else at all.... ) They laugh and mock me when I need help doing something in the coop. I can't stand it anymore!!!!!

My part time income from chickens/bartering and becoming frugal is due to the fact my income has dropped 75% in the last year, husband was not working and we filed for bankruptcy...

Now things are SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER... Husband got a job, my income in insurance sales is going to steady increase early next year, and I will have extra income from chickens and bartering.

My kids are rude, hateful, spiteful and just plain mean to me.

(son age 24 daughter 23 and son age 18) the 2 oldest are out of the house

I have had successful (very sucessful businesses before) but my kids REFUSED TO HELP.... and I shut down the business......it was taking up too much of their "free time" ... so we hit "rock bottom" cash wise $$$$ for 4 yrs... (I still helped them out with cash $$$$)

Now, I feel like making money again.... So I am planning on buying a vending machine company (revenue is $100k per year)

Oh, how I WISH that all my efforts and sacrifice , hard work meant something to my husband and kids.... All I hear is "not me, don't want to help, too busy...and their favorite. "Shut up Bi##$%ch!!! "

My husband has SEEN me make money before and he wants to jump in and "help me run the company" said he will drive to the machines and pick up the money..... (yeah right)

soooooo I am heart broken. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE MY KIDS OR HUSBAND ANYTHING- I guess I will just work one job and not go to any effort at all as my family does not understand that if a family works together they can all prosper....

Is all this my fault? Where did I go wrong? Husband does not respect me and we have a dismal marriage. The kids are dispectful and husband won't do a thing. He goes behind my back to side with them and make me look worse....

Please someone give me advice? Should I start another company and "give" my family another chance? The kids and husband do not deserve ONE MORE THING from me in my opinion.

Does anyone else face the same problems? no matter what you do it is NOT appreciated, yet you keep giving MORE? I do not even know what I want for ME.. I have spent my whole life doing for everyone else... I am sooooo saaaddddd

 

[hikerchick]

Have you considered striking out on your own and letting them sink or swim on their own?

You deserve respect. Everyone deserves respect. Life is too short to let other people make you miserable.

I think your ideas are good ones. If no one else wants to help, and you don't want to leave, just make sure you open your own account and spend that money on yourself or save it for yourself.

 

[maf8009]

Yeah.... When my husband was out for work for 18 months I took ALL the financial burden... fact is, I do not know what I want to do for ME?

I have all that I need my needs are very simple. I am too "old" to start over again, But I still do not want to help them anymore. Bet I am co dependant... I just have to cut the apron strings and let them all make it on their own....

They are all really STUPID for not helping Mom... They will all struggle hard with $$$$ ... I wont leve them a penny... Guess I'll spend their inhertiance!!!!

Time to cancel the life insurance policies. I do not want a dance of joy on my grave if leave them a bundle!!! LOL

I'll just live happy and frugally and give my money to the "animal rescue foundation"

Oh well....... They HAD THIER CHANCE and I mean it!!!

Have you considered striking out on your own and letting them sink or swim on their own?

You deserve respect. Everyone deserves respect. Life is too short to let other people make you miserable.

I think your ideas are good ones. If no one else wants to help, and you don't want to leave, just make sure you open your own account and spend that money on yourself or save it for yourself.

 

[MorelCabin]

The best thing for you to do right now is do something for *YOU* Don't hold any expectations for them anymore...they're all big enough to take care of themsleves...let them do exactly that. I'm not saying leave....no, you stay put...but you just do what makes you happy in the midst of it all.
Sometimes the only way to change anything is to change your attitude towards the situation...seriously. Take on things just for your own enjoyment...who cares if no one else joins in...they're the ones missing out. Have fun, enjoy life...and dance to your own happy dance when no one is looking

 

[meriruka]

It makes me sad to read this, I feel bad for you. The people closest to you can sometimes be so hurtful.

My advice is if you want to start a small business, do it for yourself and choose something that does not require help from your family.
I know you love them but you are responsible for your own happiness. You can't change other people but you can change yourself. Do something for you, do something that makes you feel good. Ignore their negativity & do what you want - you'll gain confidence, they may even begin to respect you for not allowing them to hold you back. Keep the $ you make as a nest egg and if your family wants any of it, they will need to pitch in, otherwise they'll just need to go find some work somewhere else to earn what they want.

If you find you do need some help, find a teenager that could use some extra dough, or a neighbor or a friend. If your family objects, sweetly tell them that you realize they are too busy and you don't want to trouble them.

As for raising chickens as your choice of business, I've got to say that my chickens are the most expensive hobby I've ever had. I doubt I will ever recoup the money I've sunk in to make sure they are well cared for, but they bring me joy so it's worth it. I don't want to discourage you but by the time you get good stock, a good coop & run, feed, grit, calcium, bedding, equipment and probably more stuff I've forgotten, the odds of making a profit on eggs, hatching eggs or chicks, meat birds or laying hens are pretty slim.

That said, whatever you choose, go for it. Use only your own $ to start so no one can whine about it. I hope you succeed!

 

[okiegirl1]

they are all adults, STOP giving them any money! if the name calling contiunes, tell the 18 year old, this is my house, respect me or get out. simple as that. we'll see how fast he changes his tune or how fast he sees how the real world is hard.

I agree with the get your own bank account, do the business on your own. Don't ever let guilt guide your decisions.

it will be hard, but we are a very supportive group. Pull your boot straps up, and get going. You CAN do this!

 

[valmom]

Your kids who are out of the house- ignore them, you don't need their "support" to do your own projects. They should be independant of you. (do NOT give them your money, either!! At least with their attitudes)

Your husband- I guess you can't ignore him. But, move on from needing his OK or support to do things you want to do. Spend your time doing things YOU WANT to do that can be accomplished yourself. And set up a bank account with only your name on it and keep a nest egg for yourself! If anyone wants a piece of it they can mend their attitudes towards you.

 

[Dace]

I agree with all of the great input you have received already.

Stop 'doing' for everyone else and start 'doing' for you. Your children are adults with no respect for you. It is time to nudge them out of the nest (emotionally) and live for your self.

Perhaps when you start living for yourself and doing what makes you happy your husband and your children will develop a new respect for you.

You can do it!!!

Edited to add.....sometimes my husband is not completely supportive of my ideas, well to be honest sometimes he thinks I am out of my mind But in his defense in the last 20 yrs that we have been married I have come up with some pretty hair brained ideas which I do not always follow thru on......could that be the case with you? You need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if your husband could have a reason to not want to help with some things.

 

[hikerchick]

We are rooting for you.

In fact, we are expecting big things from you.

 

[Wifezilla]

they are all adults, STOP giving them any money! if the name calling contiunes, tell the 18 year old, this is my house, respect me or get out.

THAT..... x 100!!!

You made yourself a doormat over the years. Only you can relinquish your doormat status.

If you need help, hire a local teen or a friend to help you.

Not everyone will have the same interests as you. Stop trying to draw them in to your hobbies or businesses. I love my oldest son and he does not treat me bad, but I would never have him work for me again. I did it once when he was a teen and he didn't listen to me. If you do not respect my authority on the job, you do not get to benefit from my experience, knowledge or my INCOME! PERIOD!