George Carlin one liners

[Mackay]

* Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids instead of assteroids?

 

[SKR8PN]

"I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic ****ing hatreds!"

 

[SKR8PN]

Have you ever noticed that their stuff is **** and your **** is stuff?

 

[SKR8PN]

If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

 

[SKR8PN]

And My FAVORITE George Carlin quote?

"Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible manliving in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. "

 

[Up-the-Creek]

And My FAVORITE George Carlin quote?

"Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible manliving in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. "

 

[Mackay]

And My FAVORITE George Carlin quote?

"

 

[Mackay]

* Im desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

 

[miss_thenorth]

And My FAVORITE George Carlin quote?

"Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible manliving in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. "

that's not a one liner ,and it's not funny.

 

[Mackay]

* Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?