Getting back on the wagon....and finding balance.

[abifae]

What I've found helpful is to ask myself, does this get me closer to my goals? Once I focus on the goals, it is easier to know whether it is okay to say yes or no to whatever I am contemplating purchasing. Focusing on goals and what is really important helps me with the balance thing.

Me too! Hence dance being in my top two expenses outside of essentials (rent, utilities, basic food).

 

[tortoise]

I've heard it said that in order to really find balance, each person needs to have a certain amount of money in the budget that they are NOT accountable for. That's money that they can use to spend however they want, whether it's on a new pair of shoes, going out w/the girls, or whatever. As long as the amount is kept realistic, and it is NOT hurting the relationship, it can be a life saver. (Or at least help you stay sane.)

I agree!My brother and sister-in-law do this. I think it is only $25/month so they spend it on what they truly love.

I do the same (informally). I have a little bit of my own income that I can do what I want with. Usually I pay ahead on my 2 loans, but sometimes I save some up and go to Victoria's Secret or get some other luxury.

 

[Wannabefree]

I spend any "fun" money I have on things tha will make our money stretch further anyway like blueberry bushes and seeds or a scythe or my goats. If it won't save me money, make me money, or it doesn't have potential to do one of the aforementioned...I usually pass it up easily.

We "used to save" until we used the savings to survive Now, we do what we can with what we have. Budget isn't an option anymore it is as much necessity as food.

 

[tinkarooni]

Thanks guys, I was happy to see so many positive responses. A lot of the things we spend money on are things for our home. We built a barn last year and that was $$$. We have been here 7 years and put that barn off until now. Now of course we are going a little hog wild hahaha, 4 pigs coming in the spring, turkeys and even a bee hive. We often spend our extra money on things like apple trees, raspberry bushes or a new strawberry bed. We have had chickens for years and I have been so excited to expand.

We are saving probably about 25% of our income. So I know that we're doing good, it is just hard to not feel guilty about the spending. I have to come up with an amount and say to myself, it's OK to spend this much. Our goals are to get closer and closer to being as self sufficient as we would like to be. We don't want to be "off the grid" but I would like to be able to feed us a good majority on what we raise. I don't have an enormous amount of confidence in the US food supply, but than again that's another thread.

I like the idea of just having some money to spend and not have to account for. I get a very small "allowance". Trust me it's small. but is is self imposed. Maybe it's time to give myself a raise. :/

 

[Denim Deb]

I try to have some mad money, but unfortunately, it has a habit of getting angry, and taking off on its own.

 

[Marianne]

Ah, for me, it wasn't finding the balance...it was 'eat or pay bills, eat or pay bills'. Too many years of our marriage were very lean and with three kids, there never was any extra money for just me.

I think a lot of us run into problems as soon as we start comparing ourselves or our lifestyle to someone else's (real or imagined). Some where down the line I evolved into a chubby middle aged woman who's content wearing old clothes, who hates to shop but loves to garden.

I do like nice things, but I always ask myself 'how can I have this cheaper?' and go from there.