Homeschooling - is it worth it?

inchworm

Lovin' The Homestead
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Messages
352
Reaction score
0
Points
93
Yeah - I know - I'm posting the question to a bunch of homeschoolers hoping to hear affirmation of my decision.

My kids (now 11 and 8) have always been homeschooled. I actually still work from home a few hours a week in my old profession, but let's face it, the cash I bring in doesn't cover DH's taxes.

This summer, my kids are doing a play with 18 other kids. The vast majority of them have 2 working parents. And granted, we're about 50 miles from Wash., D.C., so the salaries are higher here. But these kids have soooooo much stuff. One just back from the Bahamas, one just back from Hawaii, one is on their way to Jamaica, two are going to Scotland in a few weeks. Where are my kids going? Camping.

These kids sit around during rehearsals texting on their blackberries (I'm hoping they're really Mom's that they lent in case they needed to call home). They have new clothes and their parents have new cars and the moms wear make-up and have their hair done. I wear jeans with a small spot on them and always seem to have a stray piece of chicken bedding in my hair. DH and I have enough money saved up to cover one disaster (just one). Our retirement fund is a joke.

And these other kids seem nice enough. They seem well-adjusted and get along with their parents. They seem smart enough.

I'm wondering if I gave up an awful lot of financial security and life enjoyment for ???? what exactly???? Maybe my kids would be happy, healthy, well-adjusted, and popular in public school just like everybody else.

Inchy
 

Beekissed

Mountain Sage
Joined
Jul 11, 2008
Messages
12,774
Reaction score
3,934
Points
437
Location
Mountains of WV
Wow.....Inchy, I just don't know what to say. If I could have stayed home to homeschool my kids I would have done so. I think its worth it. Anything that teaches children what they need to know and eliminates the things they don't necessarily need to know would be an improvement. And the little bit of homeschooling I did get to do was an amazing bonding experience for me and my boys. Wonderful!

Lets break it down. The other kids have gadgets and high priced vacations. They seem well-mannered and doing well socially. So far, so good.

One. There is no such thing as financial security. No matter what anyone tells you, this is not true. It helps to have money when one is in a pinch, true. But security? Nope. You came into this world naked and you will surely leave it the same way. The only security one has is the promise of salvation. Nothing else.

Two. Two working parents means someone falls through the cracks a lot. That would be the kids. Your kids will benefit way more from having a loving parent at home than they will getting to only spend good time with you on weekends or evenings when you are exhausted from working. The money you earn will never buy back that time. It may make your financial stress less....that is not assured, but it may. It may even provide for a high priced vacation. That is great! But will it be better than being able to stay home with a sick child when they really need you? Will it provide healthy, mom cooked meals all year? Will it make up for being too stressed and frazzled to enjoy what time you do have at home with the kids?

Three. Material wealth will never, ever replace having a loving mom at home. After the kids are older and need you less, you may want to earn some extra money. I found they needed me more in their teens than when they were little.

Take it from someone who never had a choice of whether to stay home and homeschool or go to work and let the public schools bungle your child's education...... what you are providing your children is priceless. There is nothing that will ever be better than being taught by mom and going camping as a family. Without gadgets. Without fancy vacations. Just love and fun times spent with your family. When you look at it a little differently, YOU can afford the luxury of staying home and teaching your children and those other couples cannot. Too deep in debt or material wants and needs

Think long and hard before giving up that little slice of heaven, Inchy. :thumbsup
 

freemotion

Food Guru
Joined
Jan 1, 2009
Messages
10,817
Reaction score
90
Points
317
Location
Southwick, MA
I am not a parent, but have noticed a difference (in general, there are always individuals who don't fit in this statement) in homeschooled and public schooled kids. I come across the homeschoolers in the horse barns on occasion, since they can be in the barns during the school day. My nephew was homeschooled when they had to take him out of school for a long work trip to another state, and the teacher didn't bother to send his work in the stamped envelopes my SIL provided, saying, "he's a smart kid, he'll catch up!" Sheesh! What an attitude towards a kid whose education rests in your hands.

I've noticed that homeschoolers are more socially mature.....MUCH more so. They are more polite, can hold a conversation comfortably with adults, make eye contact, etc. Whether they are well-educated depends on the parents (in public school, too, often) and on the motivation of the student (if the parent is lazy.)

The social "advantages" of going to school with other kids is a myth, IMO. They learn how to be bullied or to bully. They learn how to get away with stuff and to be sneaky. They learn about bad things they would not have thought of on their own. They are not closely supervised. Lord of the Flies, remember? They don't learn to problem solve. They learn to be worker bees, drones.....sit down when the bell rings and do enough to get by, do lots of busy work, and get up when the bell rings again. Do what you are told, and how you are told to do it. Do only as much as you are told to do, no more. You are not allowed to make decisions or think creatively. You will make a great employee!

Homeschool kids can usually do their course work in a couple of hours, not the 6-7 they spend in school. That leaves lots of time for real learning. Homeschooled kids tend to have more chores that benefit the household, not just themselves (making your bed and cleaning your room is for you....working in the garden and cooking and cleaning the house is for the family.) Teaches them to be much more ready to become contributing members of society and to be prepared for a successful family of their own.

IMO!!! If you needed some support to continue, I'm behind you, girl! You can alway find short programs or field trips to fill in gaps where you might be less able to teach them.
 

patandchickens

Crazy Cat Lady
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,323
Reaction score
6
Points
163
Location
Ontario, Canada
I dunno, I mean, it is quite possible that in school your kids would not be much worse off, and might perfectly well get reasonably educated and have fun.

But there are other issues involved too. I mean, there's more than just keeping up with what other people are doing, and trying to 'get ahead' for the kids' sake. Not everything is a competition :) and even when it is, not all the important measures are visible. As Free points out above.

I guess maybe it boils down to, deep in your heart do you really think that buying more stuff (electronics, clothes, car, makeup, vacations) is what would be best for the kids, as a tradeoff against having you around more of the time and being homeschooled but with a less hgih-on-the-hog lifestyle? Also, do you honestly think that these things that you are (no offense meant) envying in other people would make YOU ultimately more happy? (Because your feelings count too, it's not *just* about the kids)

If so, then maybe it would make sense to go back to work, let the kids try public school, see how it works, and maybe it will work fine for you. If not, then maybe it's just a moment of 'the grass is greener' and you really do want to be homeschooling and just need a vent and a hug :)

Good luck,

Pat
 

eggs4sale

Lush who can't use a cheese grater
Joined
Jul 20, 2009
Messages
263
Reaction score
0
Points
84
I've been there, I really have. The summer program did it for me, too. My son was in an Edible Science class and when I would wait in the parking lot to pick him up, it looked like Vanity Fair was having a reunion. The sparkly SUV's with personalized plates, the designer clothes, sky-high heels at noon! I looked like a homeless person in comparison.

In response to a long spell of self-doubt, I put my son into the very same Catholic elementary school I had been in myself (and HATED). He was bullied from day one. The bully was the rich kid. After months of it, I went in and spoke with the teacher. She said he was a very angry kid, she thought, because his parents were "very busy." The school didn't have a bus system. Parents lined up in their cars to pick up their kids. This boy and his brother were always picked up more than an hour after school ended. Can you imagine being too busy every day to pick up your own kid? We went back to homeschooling after a year of that and we've never been happier. Well, we'll never have Hawaiian vacations. But you know what? I don't WANT to wear sky-high heels. That's just not me.

We LOVE camping. Have you heard what these people do for camping??? Right off the highway, with a motorhome. With a trailer on the back so they can drive quads within a half mile of their motorhome. That is their camping. I thought that was called 'breaking down'! :)

I know it doesn't apply to all of the high-heelers, but probably the vast majority of those people are living outside of their means. Homes are foreclosing everywhere because people bought more than they could afford. The high-heelers have to maintain a lifestyle appearance, and sometimes that's all on credit.

The blackberries... they belonged to the kids. My son was the only kid in 4th grade who didn't have his own cell phone. He wanted an iPod, cell phone, laptop, etc. I told him "When you're 18 and can pay for it yourself". Period. I like my kids. I don't want other people to pull them away from me. I don't want my kid text-messaging. Ever. What's the point of that?

I need to put on my high heels now. I need to go feed the cows and chickens. :frow
 

eggs4sale

Lush who can't use a cheese grater
Joined
Jul 20, 2009
Messages
263
Reaction score
0
Points
84
I forgot to put in the first thing I thought of:

Think about all the times you OR your kids have been sick and you wondered "How do parents who work do this????" Think of all the times you guys just stayed home and did nothing school-wise, because your mother was in the hospital, or the chicken coop needed serious mending, or the dog had puppies... endless. And think of those moments with you being at work and them being at school.
 

PamsPride

Should be Sewing
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
2,737
Reaction score
1
Points
173
My first thought is MOVE!!!
It really is laid back where I live! Our idea of a vacation to be envious of IS camping!! Kids around here are lucky to have a cell phone...blackberries for kids are pretty much unheard of!

Even though they make all that money they are probably still in debt up to their eyeballs!!
 

Up-the-Creek

Lovin' The Homestead
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
935
Reaction score
0
Points
94
Location
WV
I understand what you are saying. I believe we all question our decisions from time to time. I started homeschooling my son when he was in 4th grade. I had no particular reason for doing it really, the school he went to was a good school and it was small. Mostly I wanted to do it because my sister homeschooled her son. She lives further south and in a more populated area than we do, but her son was doing so good with it. I loved it! It was so nice, the convinience of it all, and the teaching,...I really enjoyed it. It was so much fun for me to see him learn something new and "get it". About two months into this I noticed he was changing. He was being very quiet and withdrawn. It became a big fight everyday to get him to do any work. I knew what was going on,..he missed public school and his friends. Mind you we live in a very secluded area, not much of anything going on. My son wouldn't tell me he wanted to go back to school,..he thought it would hurt my feelings and he would never do that to his mommy. So I bit my lip and put him back in public school. He is now going into the 7th grade this year. He makes excellent grades and enjoys it very much. He hates being out for summer break even. My daughter which is now 6 will be going to public school this year too. This in our situation is the best thing. The schools here are very small. The elementary has less than 100 kids, the middle school and high school both have less than 200 kids each enrolled. The bus rides are a little long, but the kids don't mind. My point being though, I am glad I questioned what I was doing,..it made me see that I was doing it for me, not for the child. Though if we lived somewhere else,..more populated, I still think now I would not homeschool,..I would find a good private school. IMO some kids can deal with it, others not so much. Good luck!
 

inchworm

Lovin' The Homestead
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Messages
352
Reaction score
0
Points
93
Beekissed said:
One. There is no such thing as financial security. No matter what anyone tells you, this is not true. It helps to have money when one is in a pinch, true. But security? Nope. You came into this world naked and you will surely leave it the same way. The only security one has is the promise of salvation. Nothing else.
Wow. You guys are all great and gave me so much to think about when I'm in a bad place.

But, you know Bee -- here you hit the heart of the question. I love homeschooling and being with my kids. What I'm really worried about is finances. This spoke to me in more ways then you can imagine.

Thanks to all :hugs
Inchy
 

Quail_Antwerp

Cold is on the Right, Hot is on The Left
Joined
Sep 12, 2008
Messages
6,905
Reaction score
6
Points
262
Location
Ohio
Ok I didn't read everyone's responses, but I'm just going to give you my experience.

My kids were in public school...for awhile. I hated it. My kids are homeschooled now, and I love it! And they do, too. I'm with my kids all the time! (I don't work part time out of the home, even though I wish that was a possibility for me!) Our finances are~well not great Ok? LOL

No cell phones here, not even for the parents...clothes are bought at yard sales when we can find them, and then sometimes they are name brands (got Wranglers and LEI's for 50 cents a pair few weeks ago, look new!) sometimes it's just what ever we can get them.

Honestly, why worry about if they can have name brand clothes or the fancy gadgets? That's they way of society, the way of the world, and it doesn't mean a happy child. The whole point of homeschooling is so that your child grows up to be beyond these things!

Homeschooled children are spared the "keeping up with the Jones'" attitude that so many public school kids have. "Mom, Jenny got a new bike, it's cool...I hafta have one like hers!" or "But Jesse got a Iphone, Dad! His parents didn't care what it cost and he didn't have to earn it! They gave it to him because they love him!"

BULL!!

My kids have had both of us home now for the last 4 years...last fall when Ernie tried to go back to work, the kids were devestated not to have their dad home daily. It was really hard on them. I heard no less than 10 times a day, "Mom, when will dad be home?" It really is healthy for the kids IMO that we are both here. We've only been homeschooling for a year, and the bond we've developed with the kids in that year, and as a family, is so fastly different than when they were in public school.

Sure their group of friends is limited, but I am in total control of who they make friends with and in what atmosphere.

Also, no more do I hear, "Mom, my teacher says.." where my daughter then finishes off her spiel informing ME how her teacher says a certain thing should be done in OUR home. To which I would reply, "Your teacher doesn't run my home, I DO! I'm MOM!"

That was the worse part of the kids being in public school. They would come home, and seemed to believe their teachers had more authority than we, the parents did.

ETA: I think I lost my own point when I was talking about us being at home. What I want to say is that we have little money, and my kids aren't suffering for it. We've a good family foundation built on love, communication, and trust. No room for electronics and fancy gadgets. We do have a computer that the kids use for school work only, and an xbox...that the kids get to play once a month only...and tv once a week only...and for xmas this year they are getting a vsmile.....
 
Top