Homeschooling... pros and cons

[rd200]

So im trying to figure out if Homeschooling would really work for us or not. My 10 yr old son ISNT doing well in school at all. His personality just isnt fitting in with sitting down and paying attention for 7 hours out of the day!!! Not saying that he wouldnt ahve to sit down and pay attention at HOME, but it would be slightly different. He really struggles with homework, he is soooo disorganized which ive talked to the teacher about many many times, and we still havent come up with a solution for it. I think he is getting most of what he is being taught, but he struggles with some of it and then gets upset cuz he doesnt know HOW to do it and then refuses to do his homework because it will be wrong anyways (he says) It just seems like a different structure and teaching method would work for him rather than Public school. He gets distracted sooo easily and has a hard time concentrating on anything really.

Now, the issue is that im am SCARED TO DEATH that i cant do it. I am NOT a patient person (altho im working on it) and im afraid its going to turn into a huge problem rather than a solution. I dont have dilusions that everyday will be wine and roses, but anything has to be better than watching him struggle trying to get his homework done and being constantly behind. he likes school most of the time. He LOVES recess and gym of course. He does get picked on id say more than "normal" he wants to be everyones friend, so even when his "friends" arent nice to him back, he still plays with them and i think they make fun of him and he just kinda blows it off to me, but it does bother him alot that they dont always like him or respect him. I know alot of this is normal behavior for 10 year old boys, but i also dont think its pertinent for kids to be picked on all the time at school. His is an easy target an often other kids blame him for things he didnt do because he gets over defensive and alot of times it makes him look guilty. I just dont know why kids have to be so cruel.....
I was picked on in school and pretty much generally hated it all the time but im trying not to let my personal experiences cloud my judgement on whether or not to pull him out of school.

I really think he learns better from doing and not being "taught"
I feel like kids are sooo over scheduled these days that no wonder he doesnt want to do his homework. He leaves the house and gets on the bus at 7am. School starts at 8am. He leaves school at 3:15, gets home at 4pm. He gets a snack, watches 10 minutes of TV while eating the snack, then its on to homework time. Which is usually about 45 minutes to an hour depending on how long he drags it out. By then its after 5 easily. then he has his chores to do, then sets the table so we can eat, usually around 6ish. then its eating, take a shower, have sometime to play with Dad or his little brother, then its 7:30 or later and its time to brush his teeth, read a book, and bedtime at 8:30pm. Thats not including any activiites like sports or activiites at church.

It just seems like he's already gone out of the house from 7am - 4pm, (which is longer than some adults are gone for work in a day) and then we expect him to do chores everyday (which to me is important-but we keep them light during the week) and they have homework to do AFTER being in school for the last 8 hrs!! And i guess i wonder why he's crabby when he gets home and doenst want to do anything!!!:/

He is in other programs at church and plays sports, so i think other social interaction wouldnt be a problem. He doesnt have siblings close in age to play with at our house (kids are 9 years apart) but we do have neighbor kids to play with for now until we move to the country. Then it will be harder for him to have the interaction that he likes. Im torn because he somewhat enjoys school,but he doesnt do well in school. If he really hated the fact that i wanted to homeschool him, i probably will leave him in public, but if he is on board, we might try it next year.

I guess if its a total bust he can always go back to public.
- what do i need to know about homeschooling??
- Since i hated school, how am i going to teach him stuff that i dont know?
- What kind of schedule do you have for school??
- What do you like the most and dislike the most about HSing??

Thanks so much, sorry this got really long....

ETA: And the most important thing is that i would like to see him more I DO have dilusions about us spending time together teaching him how to Garden, cook, do "manly" things (well, maybe hubby will have to do that part...) and just being home. I would rather be a large influence on my kids than someother ones they have in their lives. And once we get our animals, he can take them to the fair, clean them, feed them, teach him some responsibilty, etc. I grew up on a farm and i loved every minute of it. I want that for him too.

 

[Wannabefree]

You sound just like me before we started homeschooling our two. Can I do it? Will I have the patience? How will it effect the kids? Why can't DD just get it together NOT making fun, BEEN there! We homeschooled and it turns out DD had ADD, because she couldn't focus even when there weren't any distractions, but I would have never known/seen that without teaching her myself, because the school sure wasn't helping figure out why her grades were dropping like rocks yet her test scores would soar every year. She didn't really notice other kids were making fun of her or being mean to her though...because she never focused on much of anything. Homeschool was an IMMENSe blessing for us, and her. Now that she is back in public school we have regretted letting her go back. She was SO much more mature before the influence of her peers She seems to have reverted back to middle school days now

Anyway.....the point of all my rambling(scuse me, I am exhausted and tend to do that) is that YES you can do it, YES it will be good for him, and NO it does NOT have to be so uber structured and mind numbing for the kid! As far as recess....join a local homeschool group and field trip with them! Start nature walks with him, join a gym, get a pool, get a dog that has to be walked and on and on...there are unlimited options with homeschool. If DD weren't so bent on staying clear of anything resembling a parent right now...she'd be in homeschool. So long as she maintains an "A" average, we let her stay put. Encouragement comes in many forms

 

[BeccaJoVon]

Hi rd:

I researched homeschooling a long time before I had the courage to start, so I understand your reluctance to begin. We practiced by doing summer homeschool before we took the plunge. I did not give my kids an option. I told them what I wanted to do and tried to alleviate any concerns they had. I felt it was my decision and not theirs, and I did not want to put that responsibility on their shoulders.

If you buy a homeschool curriculum, you will be pleasantly surprised to discover how wonderful these are written to the student. Once the child learns to read fairly well, they can practically do the work without any help. The instructions are generally written on their reading level and there is plenty of repetition so that the student learns.

One of the big benefits for me is how little time it actually takes to homeschool. When you think about all the time spent at school taking roll, changing classes, etc., you can see how 45 minutes on a subject at home is actually 45 minutes. If we start at 8 am, we are done with our core curriculum (math, science, history, and language arts) by noon. That gives us plenty of time for the things that we think are important, all the while making above average scores on Arkansas's required once-a-year testing.

Honestly, I cannot say there is anything that I dislike about homeschooling. I enjoy having my kids around. I work part time from home doing medical transcription, so I have a little income. I live rural and hate going into town, so being home is great to me. There are a couple of homeschool groups nearby, and although we are members of one of them, we have yet to make it to a meeting. My older kids are in the Civil Air Patrol, so they get socializing from there--not that I am a big fan of demanding kids get "socializing." We go to a small church and the only other kids are family, but many homeschooled kids have that means for socialization. I really should utilize the homeschool group because they do have a Shooting Sports a couple of times a month as well as a 4-H group. We are trying to get there, but life seems to stay in the wayor else Mom just does not want to have to go.

Legal:
You can go to http://www.hslda.org/hs/ to see what your state's requirements are for homeschooling.

 

[SSDreamin]

I wonder if your son is a kinesthetic learning style (learns better when its hands on)? My DS#1 was an oral learner. If you tested him orally, he'd ace it. Tell him to write his answers down, and there was a short circuit between his brain and the pencil. Maybe doing homework in a more hands on way would help?

There is a 'bridge' program, that isn't really homeschool and isn't really public school. The one I researched is called K12. It is tied to a school district, but all learning except for State testing is done online. They have teachers on call for questions, and are flexible about assignments. It was also 'free', at least here - all K12 students were considered public school students, eligible to be counted on 'count day' and in return the State paid for all educational materials. Some of the lab supplies were amazing, but the student would have to use only their materials and follow their basic schedule, and of course be there for testing. We decided against it, but it is an option throughout most of the country.

As for homeschooling, I was told when I first started looking into it that I already had been homeschooling for years; I just needed to decide if I wanted to continue. It's true. I figured that, I'd taught him all the stuff he needed to know up to that point and hadn't once thought of throttling him ( ) so we could probably both survive if I continued. You've already answered THE NUMBER ONE question you'll be asked by every well meaning person you come across: What about socialization? That always struck me as funny - nobody doubted my ability to teach him, they all just worried he'd turn into some weird hermit-kid That sold me. If nobody else doubted me, maybe I should stop doubting myself (for social opportunities, we joined a homeschool gym class, and DS#2 raced quarter midgets. Now that racing is on hold, we are looking into Boy Scouts. He has never had a problem being social ).

 

[Beekissed]

Hi rd:

I researched homeschooling a long time before I had the courage to start, so I understand your reluctance to begin. We practiced by doing summer homeschool before we took the plunge. I did not give my kids an option. I told them what I wanted to do and tried to alleviate any concerns they had. I felt it was my decision and not theirs, and I did not want to put that responsibility on their shoulders.

If you buy a homeschool curriculum, you will be pleasantly surprised to discover how wonderful these are written to the student. Once the child learns to read fairly well, they can practically do the work without any help. The instructions are generally written on their reading level and there is plenty of repetition so that the student learns.

One of the big benefits for me is how little time it actually takes to homeschool. When you think about all the time spent at school taking roll, changing classes, etc., you can see how 45 minutes on a subject at home is actually 45 minutes. If we start at 8 am, we are done with our core curriculum (math, science, history, and language arts) by noon. That gives us plenty of time for the things that we think are important, all the while making above average scores on Arkansas's required once-a-year testing.

Honestly, I cannot say there is anything that I dislike about homeschooling. I enjoy having my kids around. I work part time from home doing medical transcription, so I have a little income. I live rural and hate going into town, so being home is great to me. There are a couple of homeschool groups nearby, and although we are members of one of them, we have yet to make it to a meeting. My older kids are in the Civil Air Patrol, so they get socializing from there--not that I am a big fan of demanding kids get "socializing." We go to a small church and the only other kids are family, but many homeschooled kids have that means for socialization. I really should utilize the homeschool group because they do have a Shooting Sports a couple of times a month as well as a 4-H group. We are trying to get there, but life seems to stay in the wayor else Mom just does not want to have to go.

Legal:
You can go to http://www.hslda.org/hs/ to see what your state's requirements are for homeschooling.

Excellent advice and I agree!!! And try to get with a homeschooling group if for nothing more than to swap curriculum, find out what is available, etc. My kids loved homeschooling.

One thing, though...I'd try to re-integrate back into school sometime in HS so that they can get a diploma. I made the mistake with my oldest of not seeing that he was back in a regular school before graduating and he had to do a GED. No problem until he applies for jobs and colleges...

I know they have programs where a kid can get a diploma through a school of some type but the ones I saw offered were expensive.

 

[BirdBrain]

Regarding diplomas, in the states I have HSd in, HS is considered a private school and as such is authorized to issue a diploma. An increasing number of colleges and universities are courting HS students and will accept home issued diplomas.

The main thing to keep in mind is that HS is a tutoring model, not a classroom model. Don't plan to spend 6 hours sitting there learning. My daughter has never spent more than 2 hours a day on schoolwork. Her older brother usually spends 3 or so. Our motto is "school is what we do when life doesn't hand us something else.". We had a blizzard the other day. It was more important to dig out our 80 year old neighbors than do our schoolwork. Kids learn a lot from serving others.

My third child your son's age. He is dyslexic and has ADHD. If I were faced with your situation, I would pull him out now and enjoy Christmas preparations with him. Then spend the next 3-4 months doing math (to keep him current), but the rest of the time reading good books (Tom Sawyer, Treasure Island, etc.), going on nature walks, visiting museums and listening to audiobooks. Build your relationship and over time, as you add in more schoolish things, you will find that HS is not the big bear you feared would eat your lunch. For our family, HS is more about relationships than academics. Any child can learn anything they set their mind to--character is taught.

 

[Beekissed]

Agree 100% to this post! That is what I did for my children and found it really benefited my youngest~who was diagnosed with ADD. I promptly ignored that Dx because he just learns differently than other children. When given the opportunity to curl up in a fluffy chair and read his text books at home, he would go WAY past our lesson and be so excited about the information he had gleaned, would want to try all the experiments right away and could tell you everything he had learned.

That excitement for school and tailoring the learning style to the child are a few of the big pros of HS.

 

[MyKidLuvsGreenEgz]

I've kept my kid at home since he got kicked out of kindergarten for not sitting still, or letting other kids answer questions. This, while I was working full time. Found a home daycare that understood and schooled him at night but after a couple of years, found a nanny job so I could school him more.

But I go more under "unschooling" ... if we cook together and measure ingredients, it's considered home ec AND math.

He loves workbooks and reading so most of his work is that way. Plus doesn't do well sitting down .. I have no prob with him moving around and pacing. Of course, now I have the diagnosis of autism so ... SO glad we're doing this at home. I have no patience, and as much of an aptitude for math as he (pretty much none). A once-a-week tutor helps.

I worried about the GED stigma vs diploma but there are lots of umbrella schools you can "register" under to get a diploma. I did that for a while but I've since dba'd my own school so when he graduates in 3-4 years, he'll have a diploma from "Mountain Gardens Learning Center"!

Don't fret about it. Take a deep breath. Visit your library and check out everything you can on homeschooling, unschooling, child-led learning, and so forth. Oh, and definitely "What your First Grader should know", second grader, third grader, and on up. INVALUABLE series!

Then come up with a basic curriculum (I have something I could post if you'd like ... after the first of the year please ... I'm swamped!). Be sure to visit the library once a week for your references, like reading. We visit thrift stores and garage sales with a list of books in mind, plus go to the library regularly.

Also, google "home school groups" or "co-op" for your area. Lots are christian or religions based but some aren't. That way you can get together for a "play-date" or special museum or restaurant etc tours, etc. We once attended a Tuesday picnic where we did some science experiences and nobody cared that we got messy because we were at a park!

Enjoy your time with the one on one, learning together.

 

[k15n1]

It'll take a lot less then 7 hr/day to keep up with the public school.

 

[Beekissed]

Even on intensive days we were through with school in 4 hours. The rest of the day was in fun or practical application of things learned.