How many of you make a budget and actually stick to it.

[miss_thenorth]

Okay, Hubby wants to buy a big ticket item. As in NOT a necessity, etc. I told him there is no way on earth we are taking out a loan to buy this.

We just bought this house last year, so have a hefty mortgage, plus, we have to fix our basement as there was a water leak (where the water line to the barn leaked.--now fixed, but we have work to do in the basement)

I am not a big spender--my animals and being frugal are my only hobbies (yes I know its sad that my hobby is finding ways to save money).

My hubby has lotsa hobbies,so I am assuming that this will be hard for him. I told him if he really wants this, we need to set a budget and stick to it, as we will need to "save" for this.

So, I need advice on how to set a budget, and also, how to get hubby to stick to it, trying to avoid all the arguments I foresee happening b/c of this.

We have not budgeted for probably more than 10 years, and there were arguments the last time we did. Life has been pretty sweet since then, but...

This time will be a little different. Last time it was to get out of debt and to start living within our means. We have been good at that for a long time now. But this time, he wants a $35 000 plane, so we're talking about a long time budget, and quite frankly, I don't think he can do it. He says he WANTS it , but there are alot of other things that he wants too--like to go paintballing, hunting trips, golf, flying the plane he already has (which he does not own, but has full access to, but it is now forsale and he wants his own).

I don't want two years of tension, arguments, etc. I know that (from experience) since I am the one who manages the finances, if we are not saving (even if HE is the one spending), the resentment will fall on me b/c we are not saving.

Help and advice please!!!!!!

 

[FarmerChick]

Put your foot down. We can all only incur so much debt and then it gets super hard. I would love a plane too...LOL...but I can't swing it (even though I probably could..LOL)

but at some point we have to draw the line with our men folk..HA HA

My Tony is the same. He wants all new farm equipment constantly. I used to say no and feel guilty. Now I don't feel guilty anymore......everyone wants stuff....we can't and shouldn't have it all. So when hard times fall for any reason, and I have savings and such, then he will thank me or later down the road when retirement is easy.....LOL

Don't worry. This phase shall pass for him I am sure. He will find another want..HA HA

I tell Tony the same. Save for it. He wants a new hydraulic dump trailer for about $5K and I said no loans!!!! Save and get it in cash. His eyes got huge, like who, me, save money..HA HA

So I have a separate acct. for savings for Tony's junk...LOL....he doesn't know what is in it and when it hits like $5K I will hand it to him and he can do "whatever". He will be shocked and will love it, but until I hit that number there will be no loans for "stuff" just to have it.

So do what ya can. We all deal with this in some way....best of luck with hubby....Men right? HA HA

And alot of women are the financial controller in the family. We take that nasty burden that drives us crazy...it does me...so I know I will not go overboard with loans ever again for just stuff. Cause mentally I can't handle it..HA HA

hang in there!!!

 

[miss_thenorth]

Sadly, this plane is not a phase that he will outgrow. He has always wanted to fly.We had it out 4 years ago when he came home from a fishing trip, after we just sold our 80 acres up north, saying he was going to spend the money then, on a plane. At this point he didn't even know how to fly. He has since learned how to fly, and as "luck" would have it, they guy who taught him how to fly moved to Costa Rica, and left his plane to dh to fly. This guy has since decided that he will not be coming back to Canada, has decided to sell the plane. If dh can't buy this one, he will get one.

So this is pretty much how it will be, and I am not his mother, so I can't say no. I can, however, say that we will not take out a loan for it. He is adamant that we must save for this thing.

 

[FarmerChick]

oh then this isn't a passing fancy type hobby, this is a true passion flying....well that is different.

save for it. do the hard math about the budget and see if you can swing a loan and get it, or truly start to save for it. Like you said, it doesn't have to be this plane, but if it is a great deal this plane and you know he will have a plane, then finance it cause if the deal is great (and I don't know plane costs..LOL) then maybe now is the time to buy.

I guess sometimes you have to follow a path and just do it. See we have a dump trailer and all equipment we need, Tony just wants new and more..LOL...so I can say NO without feeling bad. But if this plane is a given, and a great deal for the money, maybe truly check and see if a loan is just worth taking on. Can ya cut corners and save elsewhere?

One thing though, truly be sure you can afford it cause honestly, times are still going to get very worse. If you can't cover a payment for that plane, then don't feel bad saying no at all. After all, most of us only have so much money to go around..LOL

 

[krjwaj]

Budgeting is a discipline. We don't spend much but are careful when we do. I guess you can say we budget in our head(s).

Is there anything that you both own that you/hubby can sell to start a fund for the plane? You know the saying, One in, one out? Maybe if the fund needs to grow to a certain amount, the desire may ween by then. If not, there is a start.

Its hard when couples disagree; esp. when shared $ is involved.

ps. Has he figured in the cost of maintenance, fuel, license, etc?

 

[miss_thenorth]

Budgeting is a discipline. We don't spend much but are careful when we do. I guess you can say we budget in our head(s).

Is there anything that you both own that you/hubby can sell to start a fund for the plane? You know the saying, One in, one out? Maybe if the fund needs to grow to a certain amount, the desire may ween by then. If not, there is a start.

Its hard when couples disagree; esp. when shared $ is involved.

ps. Has he figured in the cost of maintenance, fuel, license, etc?

He's been flying for 4 years Yes, we are aware of all the costs associated with it. <sigh>

It's been easy the last 4 years, b/c he had sole access to a plane. We had all the associated costs minus the actual purchase price, since the owner was out of the country.

He appreciates my "frugalness", and even to an extent--he is too, although he likes his toys and hobbies. <another sigh>

We live within our means now, and quite honestly, I don't think we could pinch anymore out of our spending--except for his hobbies, and i have found out before, that if he does not have his hobbies, he is not a pleasant man to live with.

 

[roosmom]

Oh miss_thenorth,
I SO TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. You are describing us. Only, your husband has his license, mine hasnt got that far yet. Mine did take out a loan for a plane tho. It is an ultralight because (he is paying for it like he did the truck) we cant even afford lessons for learning to fly. We do not seperate the money when it omes in, it is mutual property but HIS needs have started me rethinking it.
This probably will not really help you but here is how I deal with our similar problem.
1 let him in on handling the bills (it wont last long you'll see)
2 continue to tell him "no loans"
3 take yourself right out of it. Tell him that if HE wants the plane then HE will have to save for it because NEITHER ONE OF YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

One of the times he wanted something big it was a new truck. I helped with the comparision shopping and such bUt I told him that if he wanted this then we had to do something diff with the finances. He had to deposit a set amt of money in our checking acct every payday, NO MATTER WHAT.
This took care of half the bills and his truck payment. It worked out good that time, but HIS NEED for a plane has never went away......thats why the ultralite.
I really really feel for you and understand. I know, it dont help does it?

 

[miss_thenorth]

Oh miss_thenorth,
I SO TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. You are describing us. Only, your husband has his license, mine hasnt got that far yet. Mine did take out a loan for a plane tho. It is an ultralight because (he is paying for it like he did the truck) we cant even afford lessons for learning to fly. We do not seperate the money when it omes in, it is mutual property but HIS needs have started me rethinking it.
This probably will not really help you but here is how I deal with our similar problem.
1 let him in on handling the bills (it wont last long you'll see)
2 continue to tell him "no loans"
3 take yourself right out of it. Tell him that if HE wants the plane then HE will have to save for it because NEITHER ONE OF YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

One of the times he wanted something big it was a new truck. I helped with the comparision shopping and such bUt I told him that if he wanted this then we had to do something diff with the finances. He had to deposit a set amt of money in our checking acct every payday, NO MATTER WHAT.
This took care of half the bills and his truck payment. It worked out good that time, but HIS NEED for a plane has never went away......thats why the ultralite.
I really really feel for you and understand. I know, it dont help does it?

LOL, that is what he is flying right now, so don't tell your hubby it is for sale. It has been a blessing (of sorts) that he has been able to fly it for the last 4 years, but..... He would settle for the ultralight, but has his eyes on another plane. (don't know what it is= don't care) His flying has only ever been a thorn in my side.

I had been wanting to be out in the country, and that only took 10 years, (I say that sarcastically). Sadly, it won't take 10 years for him to get his plane. =his priorities over my priorities.

I am going over our finances/bills etc right now, seeing where we can cut costs.
I wonder if he would be "that "willing to go without highspeed or cell phone in attempts to save money.

thing is--he doesn't want to make sacrifices, but wants to save for this plane. And although he hasn't said it--it will be my fault if we can't save it. My money tree hasn't strated blooming yet, and last time I checked, I couldn't pull it out of my butt.

 

[roosmom]

Ok, lmao, I hear ya, so this is another thing I did when he went and bought the ultralite in 2006. I went right to my insurance company and took out a lg life ins policy on him. I didnt make any secret about it either. I just told him the truth. If you insist on flying, then I need to make sure that I am taken care of if something happens to you. I told him tht I did not want to hook up with another man just so I could make ends meet. WELL, the whole summer has passed and he hasnt went anywhere in that ultralight. lol I am mean arent I? I like to think that it made him stop and think. Anyway you could get your man to stop and think, because, honestly, all we can do is tell you what works or doesnt work for us. You know him better than us and how to handle him. Maybe a combo of some ideas on here would work? shake him up? get him to see the big picture? not be so SELFISH?

 

[patandchickens]

The simplest thing would be to put the burden of proof on *him* -- "You think we can afford this? OK, sit down and do the numbers and SHOW me how we can afford this". Then of course you have to vet his budget very carefully to make sure there aren't any goofs like forgetting that property taxes tend to go up or budgeting $0 for clothes for the next five years.

Good luck,

Pat, whose husband fortunately gave up flying several years before we met