Kids Say the Darndest Things

[kcsunshine]

Some Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....
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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

 

[Shiloh Acres]

LOL!!!


I'm a teacher, and I still think they are funny!

 

[Denim Deb]

I love the last one!

 

[CrimsonRose]

 

[mlynd]

that is so cute I have one for u yesterday the Teacher Asst. to 2nd grade Said to me
TA: Now Tommy What do we get if the ground hog see his shadow today
Tommy: 6 Yrs of Christmas

Got to love 2nd graders

 

[TanksHill]

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....


Do you think OFG could be related...????

 

[kcsunshine]

Gotta love little Tommy - 6 years of Christmas. That's a hoot.

Don't know if George and OFG were related, but she's got him beat by a long shot at wielding that axe.

 

[Denim Deb]

Kids were asked to draw pics of their favorite Christmas carol. This one child drew a pic of Mary, Joseph, the babe, and a fat guy. When asked who the fat guy was, she replied, Round John Virgin.

 

[AnnaRaven]

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

 

[Shiloh Acres]

A similar list for Sunday School teachers:




Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry


I bet it is very hard for God to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Nan

Dear God: We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. - Sincerely, Donna

I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love, Alison

Did God mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma

Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't God just keep the ones we got now? - Jane

Who draws the lines around the countries? - Nan

I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? - Neil

What does it mean God is a jealous God? I thought He had everything. - Jane

Did God really mean do unto others as they do unto you, because if He did then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla

Dear God: Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce

To God: It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. - Your friend, but I am not going to tell you who I am

Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom L.