CrealCritter
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Missing my family something horrible. Maybe we all are - IDK??? But let's talk about LOVE in this thread.
L O V E - Love
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CrealCritter
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Mini Horses
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You have a large family and with current virus situation, I suspect it's difficult for everyone! These are trying times and yes, more LOVE is needed. 
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CrealCritter
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It Happened! What Happened? LOVE that's what happened.
Very long story short. Shortly after my youngest daughter gave birth to my youngest granddaughter. This China Virus scare thing happened. I seen my newest grand baby like 1/2 a dozen times. Then my newest son in law jacked up and made my wife cry. I went over to their house and tore into him, the exact same as I would any of my sons. I made it perfectly clear what the ground rules of my family is and of him as my son. The next thing you know, my wife and I get a 9 page letter of grievances from my daughter basically cutting off from any and all contacts from my son in law, daughter and my grand daughter.
I read the letter and the grievances "against" me and they were 100% correct. There was nothing that was made up or misconstrued, that she wrote. I was like yeah ok and so what? Then I trashed the letter. My wife however, was in tears and cried everytime that letter came into her mind over the 14 months. She kept her's, I trashed mine after I read it.
So out of the blue last week, we both get a text from my daughter asking if we would be willing to talk. My wife asked me so??? I said I guess so. I must admit I wasn't so enthusiastic about meeting. So we met at a park over a picnic table. I did a lot of listening and making funny faces at my granddaughter to make her laugh and smile
The only thing I clarified to my son in law is. When I gave you my daughter to marry, I did just that. You are the head of the household and now my son. You jack again, expect I will set you straight again. Don't believe me? Just try me, I'll be all over you like flies on a cow pie. Then he tried to rationalize, "I work, pay the bills and take care of your daughter and granddaughter". I said good, that's a man's job. Don't expect me to praise you for something your supposed to be doing anyways. That took him by surprise. And again came more rationalizations... he said he was mainly raised by his mom, his dad was never really in the picture. I said that's not my problem, I raised all my son's to be leaders, not followers. And I expect no different from you, so you better learn quick. Now do you understand what I mean by head of household? Let me break it down for you into specific actions. You love your daughter and your wife and tend to them first, ahead of yourself and do whatever it takes to keep them happy. You respect all members of my family, expecially my wife, my son's will fend for themselves and their families. You do this from this day forward and we won't have any more problems, got it? He apologized to me. I said I need no apology, you need to apologise to my wife and he did.
So now that the expectations are set, we are a loving family again. He's a smart guy and I know he loves my daughter and granddaughter, he just never had a father figure and needed just a little bit of tough love. After raising 7 boys of my own, this was like pushing the easy button for me. But all this heartache laid upon my wife for well over a year, and for no good reason at all. All because he didn't have the courage to talk to me man to man...
I'm telling you what, kids these days
Jesus is Lord and Christ
Very long story short. Shortly after my youngest daughter gave birth to my youngest granddaughter. This China Virus scare thing happened. I seen my newest grand baby like 1/2 a dozen times. Then my newest son in law jacked up and made my wife cry. I went over to their house and tore into him, the exact same as I would any of my sons. I made it perfectly clear what the ground rules of my family is and of him as my son. The next thing you know, my wife and I get a 9 page letter of grievances from my daughter basically cutting off from any and all contacts from my son in law, daughter and my grand daughter.
I read the letter and the grievances "against" me and they were 100% correct. There was nothing that was made up or misconstrued, that she wrote. I was like yeah ok and so what? Then I trashed the letter. My wife however, was in tears and cried everytime that letter came into her mind over the 14 months. She kept her's, I trashed mine after I read it.
So out of the blue last week, we both get a text from my daughter asking if we would be willing to talk. My wife asked me so??? I said I guess so. I must admit I wasn't so enthusiastic about meeting. So we met at a park over a picnic table. I did a lot of listening and making funny faces at my granddaughter to make her laugh and smile
The only thing I clarified to my son in law is. When I gave you my daughter to marry, I did just that. You are the head of the household and now my son. You jack again, expect I will set you straight again. Don't believe me? Just try me, I'll be all over you like flies on a cow pie. Then he tried to rationalize, "I work, pay the bills and take care of your daughter and granddaughter". I said good, that's a man's job. Don't expect me to praise you for something your supposed to be doing anyways. That took him by surprise. And again came more rationalizations... he said he was mainly raised by his mom, his dad was never really in the picture. I said that's not my problem, I raised all my son's to be leaders, not followers. And I expect no different from you, so you better learn quick. Now do you understand what I mean by head of household? Let me break it down for you into specific actions. You love your daughter and your wife and tend to them first, ahead of yourself and do whatever it takes to keep them happy. You respect all members of my family, expecially my wife, my son's will fend for themselves and their families. You do this from this day forward and we won't have any more problems, got it? He apologized to me. I said I need no apology, you need to apologise to my wife and he did.
So now that the expectations are set, we are a loving family again. He's a smart guy and I know he loves my daughter and granddaughter, he just never had a father figure and needed just a little bit of tough love. After raising 7 boys of my own, this was like pushing the easy button for me. But all this heartache laid upon my wife for well over a year, and for no good reason at all. All because he didn't have the courage to talk to me man to man...
I'm telling you what, kids these days
Jesus is Lord and Christ
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Lazy Gardener
Super Self-Sufficient
I'm glad you stood up for what is right. These days, I see people bending over so far to keep the peace that they are putting their own heads where the sun don't shine. We're having some ( for me) hard sermons at church on forgiveness right now. I can forgive when people wrong me, and when they ask for forgiveness. I'm working on forgiving wrongs when they never ask forgiveness. What I have a hard time with is forgiveness when those wrongs are directed at my family or the innocent. I need to learn how to forgive as Jesus forgave. You are right, in this: forgiveness does not include throwing the door wide open to allow the abuse to continue.
I’m mildly impressed your son in law is Alive after that. Good self control CC! It seems you’re going to help train him to be the man he needs to be too. God bless y’all in that venture.
P.s. can you become a youth speaker! I know a few people who need it lol.
P.s. can you become a youth speaker! I know a few people who need it lol.
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CrealCritter
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Still alive, that's actually funny
.Youth speaker, hu? I have never shared my testimony and how my wife and I fought for sexually abused childern's rights for a large part of our life. There is a reason why my wife and I had 7 children but we raised 11. All 11 call me dad and my wife mom.
Jesus is Lord and Christ
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Lazy Gardener
Super Self-Sufficient
Good youth pastors are a true blessing within the church.
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CrealCritter
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Love comes in many different forms, doesn't it?
I wonder how many here have taken the Pledge of Allegiance? I did, every morning before school started. With my hand over my heart and facing the beautiful flag of the United States of America. Maybe you've just forgotten... if so, here's a little reminder for you.
BTW, that word "Indivisible" means - Not divisible into parts or fragments; incapable of being divided, separated, or broken; inseparable.
Jesus is Lord and Christ
I wonder how many here have taken the Pledge of Allegiance? I did, every morning before school started. With my hand over my heart and facing the beautiful flag of the United States of America. Maybe you've just forgotten... if so, here's a little reminder for you.
BTW, that word "Indivisible" means - Not divisible into parts or fragments; incapable of being divided, separated, or broken; inseparable.
Jesus is Lord and Christ
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