Laugh(s) for the day

[frustratedearthmother]

That's funny.

A few years back my boss had gone to lunch and called to say she'd be late because she'd been in a fender bender. With a car insurance agent driving his well-marked insurance car! We got a nice chuckle out of that!

 

[sumi]

Did I read that sign right?

"TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR
BELOW"

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL
YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER
YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND
STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING
MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR
FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU
HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK)

"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter"

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"
Really? Ya think?

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
Now that's taking things a bit far!

"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"
What a guy!

"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

"War Dims Hope for Peace"
I can see where it might have that effect!

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
Ya think?!

"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
Who would have thought!

"Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
They may be on to something!

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
You mean there's something stronger than duct
tape?

"Man Struck By Lightning:Faces Battery Charge"
He probably IS the battery charge!

"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"
Weren't they fat enough?!

"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
"Did I read that right?"

 

[Rammy]

Omg.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Those are awesome!

 

[Mini Horses]

Those deserve publishing!!!!!! Good, hard laughs.

 

[sumi]

Gosh, I had to laugh now... I went to the supermarket to get a lottery ticket and while I was filling it in, I noticed an old woman approach me. She didn't talk, just hovered nearby, so I figured she's waiting her turn to fill out a ticket and carried on what I was doing... After a bit she walked around and behind me and (gently) slapped me on the head! I looked up at her and she looked at me and her eyes went wide... She mistook me for someone else! LOL Poor woman was horrified. I just smiled and said no worries

 

[FarmerJamie]

 

[Rammy]

View attachment 9757

 

[Hinotori]

 

[sumi]