Last year my then 9 year old granddaghter participated in that least beloved (by family) of all elementary school traditions: The Fundraiser. She happily brought me a vastly over priced catalog, using that kid expression that translates into "Go ahead, spoil me."
I looked it over, and decided to purchase a gift certificate for a magazine subscription. Six weeks later, after I had forgotten all about it, I got the paperwork, and a choice of magazines. None of them were of great interest, except for Food&Wine. I don't drink, but I do cook, so I ordered it.
It has turned out to be as affected a magazine as I have ever seen. I have learned nothing from it at all. And when approached by now ten year old granddaughter, I will probably renew it instantly. Perhaps for two to five years at a time.
So, that little intro was perhaps an explanation as to why I was just reading an article in such a snooty magazine. The article was called "The New Homesteaders". I thought, hey...maybe this isn't all bad after all. That was after reading the title. Reading the article was a less encouraging.
Three individuals were spotlighted. First, a fellow who lived in a 30x20 foot cabin in the hills as a starving youth. He was determined to live off the land, right? So far, so good. He had been living on squirrel meat, so was very excited to bag a wild boar one day ! Apparently there is a very high labor to squirrel meat ratio, and boar seemed like more bang for your buck.
Except the meat was horrible, he said. All 109 pounds of it, which he dutifully ate, offered to dinner partners (who never accepted again), and which tasted, as he put it, like chewing on old pennies.
Okay, funny story. Not much of a homesteader, though.
Then there was the family who was struggling to grow roses. The city then planted a shade tree in front of their house, and the roses had to go in the back yard. The wife wanted to be a farmer, so she wanted a fruit tree. They planted a fig. Apparently it did well, as they were happy to create lovely "tarts and clafloutis" for several years. Yeah, that's real down home grub.
But the one that really got to me, speaking of grubs, was the woman who was growing a small garden in her back yard which became overrun with snails. She fought them tooth and nail (apparently in her 'hood they haven't heard of Snarol or even table salt). One day, as she was throwing them into traffic, she realized that they looked vaguely familiar. Such as, escargot. So, this "homesteader" grabbed a half dozen snails from her garden, put them in a jar, fed them corn meal to clean their digestive tracts, then cooked them up in a pan with butter and garlic. She called it her "revenge".
Okay, now while I don't know you ladies and gentleman all that well, I am thinking there ain't no way in hades that you are going to bring snails in from your garden for dinner. They are garden pests, and some citified greenhorn has just served them over pasta.
New Homesteaders my lily white....well, you know.
Love your prose and agree with you heartily on the "homesteaders"! 
To think we went to all that trouble to kill and eat deer, when the snails were there all that time. 
