I sooooo have to take a picture of my "fatties"...aka the meat birds. I have several that are ready to go next week...they're waddling.
They are going through a bag of flock raiser every 2 days and a bag of cracked corn every 4 days. They are seriously eating me out of house and home.
Going to eat lunch with hubby today. We fought until almost 1am last night but we both said a lot that needed to be said. I cried so much my nose is all stopped up again.
He at least slept in the bed with me last night. He has always called me a "cat"....touch me when I want to be touched and otherwise leave me the hell alone.
I keep telling him that he is setting me up for failure because I try to be affectionate with him but there are always strings attached and then I can't cause I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and that I'm gonna disappoint him. I don't try to reject him but I can't make myself feel sexual if my body doesn't want to cooperate. I told him to imagine what it would be like if he hadn't been able to have an orgasm in 8 YEARS.
I think the fact that sex has never been an emotionally positive experience for me is a big thing too. It has always just felt like something I had to do. There have been chunks of time when it wasn't like that and I actually enjoyed it but then it always seems to go back to it becoming like a chore.
I also fussed at him for giving me a hard time for reading a book at night. I cuddle with him on the couch but if he falls asleep then I grab a book. Its not like I can go anywhere with 175lbs of husband laying on top of me snoring his head off.
I think we said a lot last night that needed to be said. Hopefully we both have a little better perspective on each others feelings.
Thank you everyone for all the advice....I really do appreciate it!
