Need Emergency Housing info for cousin who's house is falling in

[Quail_Antwerp]

because my mother's sanity depends on it!!

Here's the short story..their house is falling in, literally, and they have seven children. My mom has been caring for the oldest 3 for nearly a month now with little to no involvement from the parents. Youngest 4 are at their grandmothers with little to no involvement from the parents.

My mom still has two children at home, one of which is handicapped. She is really tired, wore out really, from trying to keep up with her own, and now three extra.

The problem is this, the oldest child has been stealing. He stole some Korean Legos that belong to my brother (who is in Germany, just getting back from Iraq) that had never been opened. My mom (and I am too) was/is livid!

Today they were supposed to take the kids for Turkey day (I mean, these are their kids!) so mom and step dad could have their own dinner as a family. We were supposed to go, but I wasn't feeling well. Mom ended up having to call cousin and say, "Look, we are ready to sit down to eat.." Then they came and got the kids. Oldest child is going to stay with an Uncle for a few days now and my mom gets the two girls back tonight.

My mom is soooooooooo frustrated that she has hinted that she might just give the kids over to the county. The parents don't come over to help with meals, get kids ready for bed, do school lessons with them (they are homeschooled), or even make sure that their special needs child is getting her meds. My mom is doing it all!

Now I am really angry over it. My mom has said that she will watch my kids for Dh and I to go out for my birthday this coming week. I said no, that isn't fair to my mom, she already has extra kids. My mom needs a break!

Every suggestion we give to my cousin she and her husband have some excuse as to why they can't do it. Of course, our suggestions make it so that they take their kids.

Supposedly for the last month they have been packing up their house and moving everything to a storage unit. Um, I have packed and moved to a storage unit before, and it only took us a week!

So what I am looking for is alternative housing suggestions that I can give to them. I have already told my mom first chance I get I am telling them off. I for one would be doing what I could to get my kids under the same roof as me, or at least going over to help. They don't even call to check on their kids or to tell them goodnight!!

 

[PamsPride]

Wow, that is hard! Is there any other family members that are willing to help out? How old are the kids?

 

[Woodland Woman]

Can you call your county and see if they have any emergency housing available? I think there are programs that can help a family get on their feet. Do they work? Maybe someone has a trailer they aren't using to help them. Sometimes when people don't try too hard it is because they don't want to take care of their responsibilities. I hate involving the authorities but sometimes people leave you no choice.

 

[MorelCabin]

Have these cousins of yours always been this irresponsible? Something doesn't feel right here...could they be going through something else right now as well as the house? Where are the parents staying? In the house that is falling down? For parents who have gone through the homeschooling and have seven kids this just doesn't seem to fit....

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Ok, I'll tell all I know, as shortly as I can, but it's pretty involved.

Husband is a control freak. EXTREMELY picky and wants everything his way or no way. If ONE toy is on the floor when he comes home he reams cousin for the house being a wreck...and dinner has to be on the table by 4:30 on the dot when he gets home.

Cousin has been a so so parent forever. Withholds food to punish the kids, doesn't force any structure, kids run rampant, are up all hours of the night.

And that was before the house issue.

They live one block from my mom. My Aunt (grandmother to the children) lives half a mile up the road. She has the youngest 4 kids, but she only has a 2 bedroom house so it's kind of crowded.

The parents are staying IN the falling down house with NO kids and supposedly they are packing everything up and moving stuff to a storage unit. When I talked to my cousin on the phone the other day they sounded pretty chipper, happy go lucky.

Supposedly they have checked into emergency housing. They were told there was a waiting list of 6 months or longer. That makes no sense to me.

I suggested they go stay with his dad in the next town over. My mom said that is where my cousin and her husband plan to go when the house is all emptied out and that cousins husband said, and I quote, "We will take the oldest 3 kids with us if we have to." But now they are saying they cannot take the kids to his dad's with them because his deceased mother's paintings are being stored in the house. Paintings she painted herself. I don't understand this reasoning.

This is their first year homeschooling. I don't know how much they have done with their kids.

First three kids are hers from previous relationship. She is my cousin. She has always been, IMO, and irresponsible parent and shouldn't have any of the kids. I reported them to CPS myself 5 years ago, when they had their first child together, because I felt the kids were in danger.

He has a job, was full time, but his hours have been cut back and the company may be going out of business. He is very selfish and too picky to just live anywhere.

There's more, but I have a headache again and I can't think of everything.

They did have their home inspected and the home inspector didn't want to stand in the house to talk to them it was so bad!

 

[2dream]

QA - Tough situtation for the kids and your mom. One thing I have learned in my 55 years on this earth is - "You just can't help some people". The reason for that is they don't really want HELP - they want someone to do it for them. Its tough but sounds like unless your mom really wants to keep these children and raise them she needs to set a time limit - let them know what that time limit is and tell them at the end of that time limit she will turn the children over to the county.
I know - I probably sound mean - don't mean to - but I hate it when people take advantage of me or anyone else.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

2dream, I agree. Sadly, I called it. I told mom they would have the kids through Christmas, maybe the new year.

My mom said she never expected they would have the kids through the holidays. Truly, I am not surprised.