lorihadams
Always doing laundry
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
- Collected from Various Sources
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
- Collected from Various Sources
