So upset with the judicial system!!!! RANT

[TanksHill]

I am so sorry for your situation. My heart goes ot to you and your family. I think the best thing here is for you to stay on top of him and the girls. Calls, letters etc.. and Document everything. Like farmerchick says charm him. Be His best friend, help him provide if necessary and keep track. It will just help you build a stronger case against him. Are the girls under the care of a doctror? Regular visits for health checks should be mandatory. Especially if you are worried about abuse. God bless you and the girls.

 

[cknmom]

His father is not in the picture, I don't know anything about him. His mother still calls her 35 yr. old son 'My Billy Boy' She does not believe DD about anything. Her sweet baby boy would NEVER do anything like that! She won't even talk to me. She has been doing all that she can to help him get his girls back.

He has signed over all his parental rights to his daughters from his wife who he has been separated from for many many years. they are in a good home, not his or his wife's.

He has gotten picked up in the past on DUI charges, DD told the courts that and that he does smoke pot. They seem not to care, even if he has no job and is relying on his girlfriends income and unemployment checks. Which will not last long. He does not like to work and keeps trying to find a doctor that will say he is disabled so he can sit at home and cash government checks. In the last year and a half he has broken up three boyfriend/ girlfriend relationships between so called his best friends by sleeping with their girlfriends. He has also broken up a long time mrriage the same way. That is his girlfriend now.

The five years that DD was with him he worked probably about 8 months, and that is being generous. DH got him a construction job with his co., supposedly, that's what he used to do. He lasted three days! he twisted his ankle the second day stepping off a stack of lumber first thing in the morning. He spent the rest of the day sitting in DH's truck! When they got home, he was limping terribly and whinning. Within an hour, he was fine. But of course the next morning he was limping sooo bad, he could not go to work. DD has worked steadily through their whole relationship. She also was going to college for her degree in psycology??And coming home to take care of the house and children.

Monica


When DD picked them up last time they were very under weight almost malnourished. She has taken them to therapists to find out about sexual abuse/molestation. They said that it is clear that something has happened to them but since they are so little they can't be sure when, where, or who.

 

[Homesteadmom]

Does the court know he signed over his parental rights? That could be very damning evidence against him. If of course the judge really gives a d%*n themself.

 

[cknmom]

They said that it has nothing to do with this case!! Can you believe that one?!?!
Monica

 

[Homesteadmom]

How he relates to his other children has everything to do with these children! Common sense tells you that much. Sounds to me like he just wants the extra money he will get from your dd. File for grandparent rights to set up a phone call weekly at a certain time & day that way you will have court ordered access & if he breaks it he will be in trouble.
I understand your fear of him running with them, my ex held that over my head all the time. Even told ds he was going to take him away from me & he would never see me again! His gf at the time(now his wife) had family in Mexico & that was where they were going. Ds told me the name of the town. So we looked it up on a map & my db researched & found out more info from some of his co-workers who had realitives in Mexico so we were preparred in case he did it. We even had a PI who was a family friend waiting to go after him if need be.
Some days I wish I had taken up a few friends on their offer's to "take care of the problem". But I am the first person they would have looked at(police) if something did happen to him. My mom's neighbor called her one day & asked her to come over & there was a man sitting in the living rm & she itroduced my mom to him & said he is going to take care of Pam's problem for us! My mom immediately said no, no, no we want no part of that & walked out! I was floored to say the least glad she cared that much for my son & I but wow, that was drastic! But I do undertsand how some people feel they have no other choice & choose that method.

 

[FarmerChick]

oh my --it is a shame they will be in another state! Ugh...at least if close you could keep some type of survellience on him.....being so far away....your hands are kinda tied.

but track everything like what everyone said. track it all. it is important to cover your tracks when dealing with him.

I feel for you. The heart break must be soooo hard for you knowing they are leaving soon.

Just shaking my head at the court. They way you wrote about him, the problems he has, his past, work, etc. etc. etc....who is the judge? My goodness what a person to allow those kids with him...hmm....get his butt in front of Judge Judy. She would eat him alive...LOL

joking aside, you track it all. It is your power if you MUST go to court to get back those kids for any reason before DD gets home.

I feel for you so much. Heck I want to reach out and snatch those kids from him. Smile at the enemy. That way you can stay close somehow and observe.

I know you are so in pain. I wish I could do something for you......

Your definitely in my prayers and just chatting about this situation does relieve some stress, so that is good!

 

[MorelCabin]

I have a plan...I think your daughter is well within her rights to sign her kids up for different programs while she is gone. Swimming lessons, Dance lessons, early childhood education...etc. Then you guys can keep track of whether or not he is actually taking them to these programs that she paid for. If he's not, that is grounds to take him back to court. If she fills this dead beats scedule with kid activities every evening, he will soon tire of all the running around and will gladly give them back to thier grandparents...they'll be too much of an invasion on his time:>)

These programs are all in the best interest of the child, obviously and if he doesn't take them he obviously does not have the best interest of the child in mind. The $600 a month that she will have to pay will be going into gas, swimsuits, dance costumes, and other stuff he will need to keep them in programs:>)

The courts will smile on her and frown on him if he doesn't have thier best interest in mind...

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Good idea, Morel!

 

[cknmom]

homestead- I hear you there. DH wanted to 'take care of him' years ago, but DD 'loved' him. As much as I have wanted things like that for certain people that deserve it, I am a firm believer in karma. I try very hard to keep my karma clean, sometimes it is very hard. Especially when you do all the right things and get the shaft and struggle through life at every turn and these jerks that care about nothing or nobody but themselves, break the law daily, are lazy and just want a free ride. We all know that they deserve to have all of us decent folk take care of them, they were born weren't they? And they get all the things they want.

DH and I have had to spend quite a bit of money on lawyers over the years to do everything right when dealing with losers. We like to cover our butts leagally so it doesn't come back to bite us later.

Usually after a long battle and lots of stress and headaches, we get what we want. With our oldest grandaughter that we have guardianship of, our lawyer said that even if either of her parents become Jesus, they wouldn't be able to get her back! That's how I like things, cut and dried and with the courts and the law backing you up.


Farmer-You can be sure that we will keep track of everything.

Morel- What a WONDERFUL idea!!! I will talk to DD today when she calls. We all have known that the only reason he wants the kids is for money from DD and also the taxpayers so he doesn't have to work. While she was in basic training and special training, they were still together for part of the time. She was sending him her WHOLE check. Every month he was getting overdrawn and she was getting notices for unpaid bills! When they split up, she was sending him $700.00 a month to take care of the kids and make sure they had food and a roof over their heads. He called her superiors and told them that she hadn't sent him one penny the whole time she had been gone! She had all the proof of bank deposits and overdrafts to prove that she had. Still they made her send him$1,200.00 a month from then on!!!

If you can sit on your arse and rack in money like that while your girlfriend takes care of your kids, hey, why not! He sold all the new furniture she had bought, sold the kids toys, destroyed her keepsakes and the family cradle, confiscated her brand new computer that she bought for school. When she picked the kids up, they had no toys, her son had the clothes on his back and her sent the girls clothes but they were their baby clothes that they didn't even fit in anymore!! He hadn't even tried to potty train the girls. She had to re-buy furniture, clothes, computers, toys.

I don't know what kinds of things are available where he lives, I guess it's a small town, near a little bit bigger town. I know nothing about OR. Maybe I'll check online after Thanksgiving. I am not going to have any free time until then.

Thanks for the support, prayers and ideas; they help bunches

Monica

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

OMG someone needs to put a fire under his butt!

What a JERK! Those poor kids!!