Spouse will not use a budget sytem

FarmerChick

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emilie brown said:
He isn't in the best health
and I am afraid of getting stuck with that big credit card bill.
My goodness is he very sick? With you stating this I get the feeling you think his time is limited and you want to think of your future and how you might get stuck with massive debt? if this is the case you better tell him how you feel. It is time for real hard factual conversation with him and lay it all on the line and go from there.
best of luck to you. it is hard to work around these situations in life sometimes. wishing it all comes out ok for you.
 

k15n1

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Our ex-neighbors had debt and money arguments until they went to a financial advisor. Now they're out of debt and preparing to move! Besides that, I know that they get along better because I don't hear about it every day at lunch.
 

emilie brown

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My husband would not see a counselor. He thinks everything is fine, as long as he gets to do what he wants. He does have
some health issues and I don't expect him to live 5 more years. I try talking to him, but he just gets mad.
 

Beekissed

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Time to cancel that joint credit card and establish your own credit. Sounds like he wants to live it up while he's got the time, with no thought for how he is leaving you to deal with all the mess. My BIL did this very thing and, thankfully, my sister had life insurance to help get her free of debt after he was gone. But, before that, she fought this very same battle you are fighting for years and years. She was married to a child who would not take care of his health, nor would he make himself conform to a budget so they constantly struggled to stay afloat and she was left holding the bag...as always.
 

frustratedearthmother

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Not sure about the laws in your state, but in a community property state "generally" credit taken out while you are married - is joint credit, regardless of whose name is on the debt. There are exceptions of course...one of them being if a debt secured by one before the marriage. You might need to do some research.

Good luck!
 

FarmerChick

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emilie brown said:
My husband would not see a counselor. He thinks everything is fine, as long as he gets to do what he wants. He does have
some health issues and I don't expect him to live 5 more years. I try talking to him, but he just gets mad.
I am sorry to hear about those medical problems. That is a hard reality to deal with for the 2 of you.

When he gets mad maybe it is him trying to cope with his own problems. He can't come to terms with them. Health issues can be extremely paralyzing and overwhelming to many. Take care of yourself best you can and the situations you are facing.
 

chickenjoe

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See if you can get a term life insurance policy on him, at least enough to take care of the debt and funeral. should be more but you might have a hard time get more. You could also take on an extra job or sell things on ebay and put the money in a separate account.
 

Britesea

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My girlfriend's husband is like yours- poor health and won't take care, and he overspends. She has always been the one that pays the bills, and finally she simply took away his credit and debit cards, and only gives him a small allowance (enough to buy an occasional dinner if he has to work late). At first, there was a lot of contention, but over the years (3 so far now) he has gotten used to it. She makes sure he does get some of the goodies he wants, but it's within reason; and their expenses are under control now.
This only worked for them because she was able to make him admit that he was spending more than they could afford, and if you can't get your husband to do that then it won't work for you. In that case, I agree that getting some sort of life insurance policy- even if it doesn't cover the entire debt- is your best bet.
 

Plantress

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That is a very large credit card debt. Were you like him in being speedy and then woke up to the debt? It's hard if you have both been the same and now you want to tighten up. Could you get your name off the credit card? maybe take out a life insurance policy on him that would cover the debts when the time came.
 
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