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SSDreamin Blessings and curses
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SSDreamin
Almost Self-Reliant
****WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS VIOLENT CONTENT, AND JUST GENERALLY IS DEPRESSING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!*****
OK, lets get the violent content out of the way first. I am a murderer. I killed 69 of 72 tomato seedlings yesterday, along with two pepper seedlings and one pak choi. I am thoroughly disgusted with myself, have begged for help from someone far superior to myself (whose initials are WBF
) and am going to attempt to do better by my next batch 
Went to the hospital, got a triple dose of radiation, went back the next day and got stuck under a honkin big machine, while laying in the most awkward position ever for almost an hour. Since then, I have been extremely nauseous. When I'm not tossing my cookies, I'm starving to death, so I've been scarfing up everything in sight and freaking my kid right out!
Although whatever that test was made me weaker, and I couldn't hold a candle to WBF if I tried ( ), I have been trying to accomplish a few things around here since the weather has been fantastic. I finally decided to replant all the flowers I dug up in front of the metal shed behind our house. I'll be able to see them easily when I've sitting on my back stoop, and they'll get plenty of sunlight for most of the day. Got out the shovel, went to dig, and hit...something. Figured it was a rock. Moved over. Hit it again. Move. Hit. On and on. Curiosity consumed me - I started shoveling away the grass/dirt, a few inches at a time, just so I could get a look at this huge rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a very nice, exposed aggregate, 3 x 3 approach for the shed! Somebody spent good money putting this thing in, and somebody else filled it over with dirt! Well, it's back to it's original state of splendor, minus a few chunks on the edges and a couple spots where I smacked it with the sharp point of my shovel 
Managed to get the mystery flowers in the ground, at the outer edges of the pad, before I gave out completely! Now, I will plant the daffodils in front of the mystery flowers, and plant the Irises out front, once I level off my flower bed area there. It was obviously some sort of flowerbed before, because I found more Irises popping up there, and some hens & chicks growing along the edge of it when I checked it out more closely yesterday!
I walked around the side of the chicken coop yesterday, to find about 1,000 flies stuck to the window, door, and wall
Once I opened the door, I found out what was attracting them 
Our brooder had tossed an egg out of her nest. She then stomped it. Yeah, it was a bad one Here I am, already sick to my stomach, gagging and 'whatnot', trying to clean up the mess and get rid of that smell, so the flies would go away! I don't think the neighbors were home (at least I hope not!), but their horses were standing right at the fence, no doubt enjoying the show!
I had hoped that, with that giant full moon thing being over, my animals would get back to normal. No such luck. Yesterday, my cow insisted I sit outside and babysit her while she ate and made it perfectly clear that she would cry nonstop if I didn't, my cat repeatedly hurled herself at the screen door, for no obvious reason, and my HUSBAND'S dog pooped in the house!!
OK, lets get the violent content out of the way first. I am a murderer. I killed 69 of 72 tomato seedlings yesterday, along with two pepper seedlings and one pak choi. I am thoroughly disgusted with myself, have begged for help from someone far superior to myself (whose initials are WBF
) and am going to attempt to do better by my next batch Went to the hospital, got a triple dose of radiation, went back the next day and got stuck under a honkin big machine, while laying in the most awkward position ever for almost an hour. Since then, I have been extremely nauseous. When I'm not tossing my cookies, I'm starving to death, so I've been scarfing up everything in sight and freaking my kid right out!
Although whatever that test was made me weaker, and I couldn't hold a candle to WBF if I tried (
), I have been trying to accomplish a few things around here since the weather has been fantastic. I finally decided to replant all the flowers I dug up in front of the metal shed behind our house. I'll be able to see them easily when I've sitting on my back stoop, and they'll get plenty of sunlight for most of the day. Got out the shovel, went to dig, and hit...something. Figured it was a rock. Moved over. Hit it again. Move. Hit. On and on. Curiosity consumed me - I started shoveling away the grass/dirt, a few inches at a time, just so I could get a look at this huge rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a very nice, exposed aggregate, 3 x 3 approach for the shed! Somebody spent good money putting this thing in, and somebody else filled it over with dirt! Well, it's back to it's original state of splendor, minus a few chunks on the edges and a couple spots where I smacked it with the sharp point of my shovel Managed to get the mystery flowers in the ground, at the outer edges of the pad, before I gave out completely! Now, I will plant the daffodils in front of the mystery flowers, and plant the Irises out front, once I level off my flower bed area there. It was obviously some sort of flowerbed before, because I found more Irises popping up there, and some hens & chicks growing along the edge of it when I checked it out more closely yesterday! I walked around the side of the chicken coop yesterday, to find about 1,000 flies stuck to the window, door, and wall
Once I opened the door, I found out what was attracting them Our brooder had tossed an egg out of her nest. She then stomped it. Yeah, it was a bad one Here I am, already sick to my stomach, gagging and 'whatnot', trying to clean up the mess and get rid of that smell, so the flies would go away! I don't think the neighbors were home (at least I hope not!), but their horses were standing right at the fence, no doubt enjoying the show! I had hoped that, with that giant full moon thing being over, my animals would get back to normal. No such luck. Yesterday, my cow insisted I sit outside and babysit her while she ate and made it perfectly clear that she would cry nonstop if I didn't, my cat repeatedly hurled herself at the screen door, for no obvious reason, and my HUSBAND'S dog pooped in the house!!
BarredBuff
El Presidente de Pollo
I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Denim Deb
More Precious than Rubies
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Hope things get better for you.
justusnak
Almost Self-Reliant
Wow, I don't know what to say....other than...I am so sorry you had such a day.
Wannabefree
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SSD....sounds like a three ring circus around there sometimes. Sorry you had a rough few days! I hope the nausea subsides. I hate being sickly!- Thread starter
- #337
SSDreamin
Almost Self-Reliant
Thanks everybody - I'll survive. Not sure my family will tho - my brother called me, all freaked out, saying "You're taking radiation?!! Why didn't you tell me things were that bad?" Apparently, my father, who was the only one I said anything to, told my sister, who called my brother in a drug induced stupor, crying that her sister was dying and nobody will give her my number Yikes, family. Nuff said!
Went to town today for gas for the beast and groceries, and had a weird experience or two. First, I pulled in to the gas station, and had to wait in line for an open pump - something I really dread with my beast. Get to the pump, start it up, get to about $7, and the pump shuts down. The guy two pumps over walks over to me and asks if I'm having issues too. Yup, sure am. Go in, ask for my smokes (
) then ask the clerk if they've run out of gas. She is stressed beyond belief, and says yes, she's pretty sure they just ran out. She and I walk outside together (her to double check the tanks, me to leave) and some %##*@ jerk yells at her! I yell back at him that she knows there's a problem, she's checking on it at that very minute, and he needed to calm down. Let me just say that, I live in a high tourist/seasonal people area, and this guy was OBVIOUSLY not from around here. I reached my truck, and he (the yeller) said "Thank you ma'am, I'm just having one of those days" Uh, why don't you times that by a hundred, and you'll know how that poor clerk is feeling! As I put on my seatbelt, an older gentleman two pumps over begins to freak right out over the non-working pump. Then, the guy next to him starts in!! All I could think of was getting out of there before they started to riot!! It was actually pretty scary. Gave me a mini glimpse of unpleasantness future, and left me really shaken. This is small town, USA here, after all AND there were three other stations within a mile, one right across the street, all with the same price for gas ($3.54 - the cheapest we've seen here in I can't remember how long).
My second weird thing was a feeling of missed (opportunity). I am ashamed of myself for it too. At the store, I got in line behind an older gentleman. I glanced at what was on the belt (is that wrong? I do that a lot ) and saw lots of veggies, some fresh fruit, milk and bread. Healthy stuff, except for the small package of marked down doughnuts from the bakery. Hey, I admit I checked the discount rack myself. The cashier told him the total. He pulled out a debit card (it had a bank logo on it, and I knew it was a debit card because the cashier said so) to pay. The cashier said "I'm sorry Sir, it says it says insufficient funds for this debit card." The man became flustered, maybe more like embarrassed. I wanted to say "Put that on my bill, would you please?" but I hesitated, unsure. I have become so (calloused? hardened?) by people buying foolish junk, usually with a bridge card. Sorry, I know that's rude to say. He gave her a credit card and asked her to put it on there, she swiped it, and within 15 seconds my wishy-washy-ness made my opportunity to be a decent fellow person in this world vanish. I am absolutely disgusted with myself! I have never felt so compelled to do something in my life, and feel very strongly that my hesitation will be called into account when I meet my maker. Weird.
Apparently, my father, who was the only one I said anything to, told my sister, who called my brother in a drug induced stupor, crying that her sister was dying and nobody will give her my number Yikes, family. Nuff said! Went to town today for gas for the beast and groceries, and had a weird experience or two. First, I pulled in to the gas station, and had to wait in line for an open pump - something I really dread with my beast. Get to the pump, start it up, get to about $7, and the pump shuts down. The guy two pumps over walks over to me and asks if I'm having issues too. Yup, sure am. Go in, ask for my smokes (
) then ask the clerk if they've run out of gas. She is stressed beyond belief, and says yes, she's pretty sure they just ran out. She and I walk outside together (her to double check the tanks, me to leave) and some %##*@ jerk yells at her! I yell back at him that she knows there's a problem, she's checking on it at that very minute, and he needed to calm down. Let me just say that, I live in a high tourist/seasonal people area, and this guy was OBVIOUSLY not from around here. I reached my truck, and he (the yeller) said "Thank you ma'am, I'm just having one of those days" Uh, why don't you times that by a hundred, and you'll know how that poor clerk is feeling! As I put on my seatbelt, an older gentleman two pumps over begins to freak right out over the non-working pump. Then, the guy next to him starts in!! All I could think of was getting out of there before they started to riot!! It was actually pretty scary. Gave me a mini glimpse of unpleasantness future, and left me really shaken. This is small town, USA here, after all AND there were three other stations within a mile, one right across the street, all with the same price for gas ($3.54 - the cheapest we've seen here in I can't remember how long). My second weird thing was a feeling of missed (opportunity). I am ashamed of myself for it too. At the store, I got in line behind an older gentleman. I glanced at what was on the belt (is that wrong? I do that a lot
) and saw lots of veggies, some fresh fruit, milk and bread. Healthy stuff, except for the small package of marked down doughnuts from the bakery. Hey, I admit I checked the discount rack myself. The cashier told him the total. He pulled out a debit card (it had a bank logo on it, and I knew it was a debit card because the cashier said so) to pay. The cashier said "I'm sorry Sir, it says it says insufficient funds for this debit card." The man became flustered, maybe more like embarrassed. I wanted to say "Put that on my bill, would you please?" but I hesitated, unsure. I have become so (calloused? hardened?) by people buying foolish junk, usually with a bridge card. Sorry, I know that's rude to say. He gave her a credit card and asked her to put it on there, she swiped it, and within 15 seconds my wishy-washy-ness made my opportunity to be a decent fellow person in this world vanish. I am absolutely disgusted with myself! I have never felt so compelled to do something in my life, and feel very strongly that my hesitation will be called into account when I meet my maker. Weird.
BarredBuff
El Presidente de Pollo
I think you just need some hugs, if I had days like what you have I would not know my name.
Wannabefree
Little Miss Sunshine
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TOC(The Other Cindi), I have often done the same thing as you described. You never know folks situation, and it's easy to become callous when people take advantage all around you. I may have done the same thing in your situation. Most people would actually. The good thing about your Maker...He made you, He knows you, He knows you'll hesitate, and feel guilty for it. Next time, you'll probably act on that feeling. He knows that too, and the old man in the store.....is probably LOADED and just aggravated that his wife spent all the money out of that account and didn't tell him, and God put him in your path to make you have that twinge to help the next person who really will need your assistance. Does that make you feel better? The point is, there are THOUSANDS of instances that we should, but don't, and God knows every single instance. If He wanted you to help, do you honestly think He would have made it that easy for you to not? Just a thought...
Good going making an attempt to help the service station attendant...too bad people often act like rabid animals when their convenience is interrupted
Does that make you feel better? The point is, there are THOUSANDS of instances that we should, but don't, and God knows every single instance. If He wanted you to help, do you honestly think He would have made it that easy for you to not? Just a thought...Good going making an attempt to help the service station attendant...too bad people often act like rabid animals when their convenience is interrupted
- Thread starter
- #340
SSDreamin
Almost Self-Reliant
I hope you're right. This is the first time in recent memory that I actually felt that I out right ignored a 'request' and let someone higher than myself down, and it was a yucky feeling that is stuck under my skin :/Wannabefree said:TOC(The Other Cindi), I have often done the same thing as you described. You never know folks situation, and it's easy to become callous when people take advantage all around you. I may have done the same thing in your situation. Most people would actually. The good thing about your Maker...He made you, He knows you, He knows you'll hesitate, and feel guilty for it. Next time, you'll probably act on that feeling. He knows that too, and the old man in the store.....is probably LOADED and just aggravated that his wife spent all the money out of that account and didn't tell him, and God put him in your path to make you have that twinge to help the next person who really will need your assistance.
Good going making an attempt to help the service station attendant...too bad people often act like rabid animals when their convenience is interrupted
I actually felt kind of guilty about the gas station deal too. That poor girl was wrung out, and I got scared and left her flapping in the breeze! It was frighteningly amazing to me to see how quickly one irate guy could turn into the beginnings of an angry mob, to be honest.
Then, when I told hubby about it, his only reaction was that I probably sucked up gunk from the bottom of the fuel storage tank and I should keep an eye on things because I may have to replace the fuel filter on the truck soon
The men in my house are just plain weird! 
