Thinking about dipping my toe into homeschooling....

[ParsonsWife]

I homeschool my daughter, this year will be my sons first year. We use the Abekka videos. These work well, but my children do miss the social part...though we are able to make up for that in other ways. For now, we will continue.
Hope you find your way.

 

[Okiemommy]

homeschool my daughter, this year will be my sons first year. We use the Abekka videos. These work well, but my children do miss the social part...though we are able to make up for that in other ways. For now, we will continue.
Hope you find your way. big_smile

Parson's wife, do you mind sharing what ways you make up for the social part that they miss from public school? That is one of our main concerns in making this decision.

 

[miss_thenorth]

Sorry if this is more geared to Pat, than the op, but my son is 12, and my daughter is 10. My son is, by definition--a spirited child. The "label" and I hate labels, came from Mary Sheey-Kurcinka's book--Raising the spirite child.

(Sorry, it posted when I wasn't done--I hate laptops)

My son had a very difficult time picking up on others social cues, but unlike your son, mine was extremely extorverted, and LOUD. I didn't send him to JK, I was home anyways, and felt he would be better off at home for that year. We often went to our--what they now call Early Years Centre, so he was able to go out and socialize and supervised/guided by me.

His first year of school was horrible. the kindergarten teacher was retiring at the end of the year, and had no patience for my son. We considered homeschooling, but decided against it for many reasons. 1- We lived in a remote area up north where there was not a strong homeschool environment (two other families within a 40 minute radius.) 2- I am not a teacher-- in the school sense. and 3-thought he would have to try better to get along with others while at school.

Fast forward 7 years, and he is popular, respectful, picks up on social cues wery well now-- basically everything he should be. Did he get this from being in the school system? Honestly--no. We worked very hard at home to get him to where he is now and honestly, I think school made it worse, as in teasing, bullying, teachers not caring (some of them) etc.

My recommendation is if you want to homeschool--do it. Public school may make it worse or better. There are homeschool associations that you can join so that he gets his social interaction. I know the pool is reserved one day a week for homeschoolers, you can organize field trips etc.

As far as the social cues aspect of it, I ordered a book and workbook from Research Press called Skillstreaming, and it is geared to specific age groups. It is basically roleplaying, and I found that extremely helpful.

Just my two cents. I still think in our situation we made the best choice for us, but if you are up to homeschooling, you should go for it.

 

[patandchickens]

We often went to our--what they now call Early Years Centre, so he was able to go out and socialize and supervised/guided by me.

Yup, we go 2-3 days per week. There are some EXTREMELY WONDERFUL things about living in Ontario and IMHO the early years program is one of them (provincially-funded community 'drop in' play centers, with some organized programs and such, and well chosen toys, and in our area the ladies who run the centers are *great* with kids). (Provincially-funded midwives are IMO the other best thing about Ontario )

Thank you VERY much for sharing your experiences with the your son and the school system. That is good food for thought.

As far as the social cues aspect of it, I ordered a book and workbook from Research Press called Skillstreaming, and it is geared to specific age groups. It is basically roleplaying, and I found that extremely helpful.

Ok, I will look it up!

Just my two cents. I still think in our situation we made the best choice for us, but if you are up to homeschooling, you should go for it.

I *want* to do it, but my husband is being an ignorant butthead. I have extracted agreement that if public school does not go well "in the beginning" (I have been careful not to define what *I* think 'the beginning' constitutes <g>) then homeschooling would be ok with him. However if I really put my foot down I am certain I could convince him that it'd be better to just start that way from square one. Hence my wanting to learn more to better make up my own mind (as well as for potential spouse-convincing in future )

I think homeschooling would mostly be fairly entertaining (to me ), although I can't absolutely guarantee we wouldn't get to the point where the kids HAVE to go to public school so we don't kill each other <g>

Thanks y'all,

Pat

 

[Okiemommy]

Actually, what studies have been done -- although one might wish for more better studies -- have shown that on average, homeschooled students seem to be MORE socially well-adjusted than their public schooled peers. That is not to say that some may not be kept unconstructively isolated, but, you know, on average. Probably someone else here can provide sources for this or I can try to figure out where I've seen it, for your husband's benefit.

Right, that I think is what I am trying to get down to the bottom of. The common belief among non homeschoolers is opposite of what studies have shown, and my husband needs the nuts and bolts; he wants to know what gets the great results of homeschooled kids to that point. IOW he doesn't just want to wing it lol and hope that they turn out emotionally and socially sucsessful .


Natalie, I believe it when you say that you are not advocating one or the other, and that you are still investigating homeschooling.

Regarding the IEPs, if a child has one its the law that its enforced.This is something I am very familiar with and I just want to clarify a few things for anyone who may in the future have to deal with this and will read the previous posts and think theyhave no rights. The school has no rights when it comes to an IEP that they drew up, they either enforce it or they face the music. The Department of Education does not take it lightly and they are not on the school's side when it comes to this. If they design an IEP then they have put into a contract what this child needs, by their own admission.

I am not arguing that once an IEP is set up that they the school has to follow it. My daughter is on one for her speech. They have to follow it to the letter here. I don't know that it is that way everywhere and can't assume so. The problem is that we were told that my son couldn't be put on an IEP period. I apologize if my explanation was vague. They told us that he was too intelligent, and that the way the state has it set up, ADHD is not a cause for being on an IEP. All the while shaking their heads b/c they knew that he needed it, and they knew that it should be different. And it was left at that. Were there other courses of action? Probably. Do I know them? No. Are they willing to give up that information? No. Since we have moved to a new school district, we will repeat this process again, and hope for better. I will exhaust all options known to me on this, until I have decided whether or not homeschooling is the best option.

Most children that are on IEPs are very intelligent, they usually have a social behavioral or speech/language issue.

again, simply, I was told that my son is not learning disabled, and therefore does not qualify for it.

Am I saying this is right? No. And I am no just giving up on him either.

Also I just wanted to say that Oklahoma is notorious for having some of the worst school districts in the nation; we have the test scores and the low college entrances to prove it, so I know that this wouldn't apply to everyone, nor did I ever intend to portray that it would apply to everyone everywhere.

I am glad that you want to make sure that everyone knows that people have many options out there for getting services for their child. Truly, I am. It's good to hear for myself b/c it's more information in my hands as an agent of change when I try this again this fall. I also agree with you that some people may read some of my posts and get discouraged, and that was never my intention. However, I do believe it is important for these things to get out there, so that when someone is confronted with the things that I have experienced(b/c the chances of it happening somewhere are highly likely,) they are prepared for it, and they don't feel isolated. That in turn can empower them to fight it, if they so choose, and if they are able. In turn it I feel it is equally important not to paint the picture that everyone everywhere will have a good result when trying to get services for their child. Some area's school systems are just not as good as others. Our school districts are on the upswing, in part due to our brilliant Govenor's wife who is a teacher. But we have so far to go.

Again, I am not bashing public school. I strongly feel that it has it's merits. But our schools here are severely lacking in their abilities to help children that don't fit into a certain mold. That is my experience, and the experience of a lot of people that I am friends with that deal with the same issues.

Respectfully,
Okie

 

[Okiemommy]

As far as the social cues aspect of it, I ordered a book and workbook from Research Press called Skillstreaming, and it is geared to specific age groups. It is basically roleplaying, and I found that extremely helpful.

Thank you!! Resources! YAY!!!

 

[Woodland Woman]

Hi everybody. I have been homeschooling for 11 years. I started my oldest when she was in eighth grade and my 2 youngest have always been home schooled. Socially they are better off. My oldest has an outgoing personality and is a great leader. In any group situation she is in people start looking to her as a leader. Her husband was not home schooled and he seems to be able to relate to only people his own age. My 7th grader is a social butterfly. She makes friends with anyone she meets and they become pen pals or e-mail and she likes to invite them to do things. My youngest has a lot of difficulty in social situations. She wants to make more friends but it doesn't come naturally so we have to teach her. All children are different. We do make sure we put them in social situations so they can have opportunities to interact. Right now their favorite thing is model horse show club. They go to camp, vacation bible school, horse riding lessons, church activities and more. You can probably find something your child has an interest in and they will make friends with children that have the same interests.

About IEP's. My youngest needs speech therapy so I brought her to the local school for that service. It took a couple months with about 3 or 4 meetings before they finally accepted her. Then I was supposed to bring her 2x a week for 1/2 hour. They put her in a class with 6 other children and at least 1/2 of the sessions got canceled. Teacher meetings, snow days, teacher ill, and other excuses. So after all this and months of bringing her almost nothing got accomplished. I think I could do this better myself at home! Just to let you know, I am not criticizing the school. They are so overwhelmed with the amount of children needing special services (almost half) and the paperwork and meetings involved.

One more thing. My 2 youngest have a difficult time because of add or adhd. We are able to control this by putting them on a diet that eliminates artificial colors, artificial flavors, some preservatives and in the beginning certain fruits. In our house this is the difference between night and day. On this diet they have self control. They are able to sit down and finish their school work in a timely manner. They feel better themselves and they are more pleasant to be around!

 

[Okiemommy]

Hi! Thank you for your input! Do you have any information on that diet, or maybe a link to some information on it? I would greatly appreciate it!

 

[ParsonsWife]

homeschool my daughter, this year will be my sons first year. We use the Abekka videos. These work well, but my children do miss the social part...though we are able to make up for that in other ways. For now, we will continue.
Hope you find your way. big_smile

Parson's wife, do you mind sharing what ways you make up for the social part that they miss from public school? That is one of our main concerns in making this decision.

Hi, sorry I didn't check back sooner.
Would love to share.
1st- My children are involved in church and all church functions...they are constantly meeting new people. Our children more so than others....we have youthcamps (multiple) we attend, as well as camp meetings, Bible Conf. (these are required as Pastors) so there are lots of interaction for our children.
2nd- Homeschool groups. I work with one (an hour away) but still.....type in your state and homeschool groups and google should bring you to several places to get in contact with your local homeschool groups. Or contact your state homeschool admin.
Ours, have people (for High School) who give Art lessons, we take trips together (field trips like schools do) monthly get togethers where the children interact and show off their work, there are contest, (art-all ages, spelling, etc...)

Hope this helps....
*Our daughter attended a Christian Academy until we moved this last time....that is the only time she was in school, and she loved it...but she's a little social bug anyway....I should note in here that she is very happy at home too, just once in awhile she'll talk about missing friends. You just have to weigh it in the balance.
My only other advice is to be desciplined. I'm talking about schedules. Yes, there are days you don't have to follow your rules, but if you do that all the time...they will lag in their education. We have a set time we work on. We also freely change it around because of our schedules.(which are crazy a lot of the times)..but in general...be strict on your schedule.
I've seen to many little ones have free time all day and then that night try to do homeschool, when they are tired, sleepy, and wore out from their day of play. Or the parents leave it up to their children to do their books....uh-huh. Mine work out of my LR and Kitchen...constant supervision, constantly able to assist while "I'm" doing my work....and we freely have breaks, when they are struggling with something, I see the frustration, it break time. Doesn't matter if we go long, or short, we accomplish our goals.

Don't be afraid to try. Do what works for you....but keep a schedule for most of your days. Remember, you can make a field trip (learning exp.) out of anything!

 

[Nuggetsowner:)]

Hello all - I have just read this thread and wanted to let you all know a few things....

First - one of my good friends homeschooled her children for two years. She loved being able to create her own lessons and working at a pace that worked for her. After this time she had to begin working again (for many reasons) and her children were then put back into the school system. It was VERY difficult for her daughter. She struggled in many areas. Socially as well as academically. The type of math that they were teaching was not what she learned at home and so on...
So, if this is a dceision you are still trying to make, think ahead a little bit and make sure you will be able to completely follow through or be able to help your children adjust to new idea and ways of doing things if they would have to go back to school. I hope that this first point makes sense.

Second - working in special education I have to let you know that ANY child who has a medical diagnosis (ADHD is a medical diagnosis so is anxiety disorder etc.) will automatically qualify for an IEP. This is done through a qualification known as OHI or other health impared. It should be the same no matter what state you live in. You must be a strong advocate for your child. I know some of the posts earlier talked about fighting with the system and the amount of time it takes. Let me tell you... you have 30 working days from the date your child is tested to recieve the results and begin to establish an IEP or other plan. There are other plans than an IEP such as a 504 etc. If you are not seeing what you want from your district, make noise and lots of it untill you get what your child needs.

Just my two cents!