What would you do?

[Corn Woman]

I grow a very large organic garden on a friends property and have so for the last 15 years. I put a huge amount of effort and time into it and love to do it. I share fresh veggis with the 2 retired couples on either side of the garden to keep the peace. They don't get along well with the lady that owns the property and I figure kill them with kindness. So on Sunday 1 neighbor and his wife ask if they can help me do anything because I work so hard all by myself and I tell them sure come on over. They help me glean and clean up a small area of the garden. I give them an assortment of crops, several buckets full in fact, smile and say have a good evening and I go home. I have to be out of town the next day and when I return in the evening my DH tells me that he got a call at work and the neighbors said they cleaned up the rest of the garden and pulled out the tomatoes, cages and took home some green ones. REALLY!!! It's late so there is nothing I can do. Well yesterday morning I go to check out my garden and 90 % of it has been stripped, everything gone and the worst part is I had heirloom cauliflower that would harvest in early winter and they pulled them up and laid them in a nice neat pile. And the heirloom tomatoes that were for seed gone. I am truly pi$$ed off, They took the last of everything that I would have sold at the Farmers Market this saturday. I can live with that loss but the huevos on these 2 blows mind. This property is not mine, I am a guest there and they come over when I am gone and level the thing. They are elderly and I still can't figure out how they did what they did in 1 day, I would have spent many days cleaning up, they did save me a lot of man hours but I feel so violated and angry. I want to say something to them but as I said they are elderly. Maybe I just need to be talked off the ledge. So what would you do?

 

[Denim Deb]

When you calm down, go and talk to them. Tell them that you appreciate that they were trying to save you some work and you appreciate it, but to please check w/you next time they want to help. Tell them you're sure they didn't realize they they actually destroyed some things. Most important thing, don't lose your temper!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Wow - I'm so sorry you have to deal with that - it was NOT right of them....

I guess what I would do would be to take a couple of deep breaths and think through what you need to say to them. I do believe that you should explain things to them so that they know where you are coming from and the impact of their actions. Explain about the heirloom varieties and that you wanted to save seeds. Also, they need to know that they did NOT have permission to come in and take what was NOT theirs.

The nerve!

 

[Mickey328]

I'd be ticked as heck too! The "pickers" were neighbors...not the owners of the property? As Deb and FEM said, I'd take enough time to sort of cool off and then just have a talk with them. I'd assume they weren't actually out to do anything wrong and work from there...check their reaction; it should tell you if there was any malicious intent. Let them know you're happy to share but that they definitely need to talk with you first so they understand the "plan" and don't interfere in it.

What a bummer...I'm so sorry!

 

[Corn Woman]

Good point DD and FEM. I do have a temper and try my best not to flare up and I must say I am getting better as I get older (just ask DH I stayed away so I could calm down. They pulled up at the gas station as I was finished fueling today and I just smiled and left because I was still too angry. I do believe they were just trying to help but asking me would have solved the problem. And as I said the lady that owns the property would be mad as you know what if she found out they were on her property without me.

 

[Corn Woman]

I'd be ticked as heck too! The "pickers" were neighbors...not the owners of the property? As Deb and FEM said, I'd take enough time to sort of cool off and then just have a talk with them. I'd assume they weren't actually out to do anything wrong and work from there...check their reaction; it should tell you if there was any malicious intent. Let them know you're happy to share but that they definitely need to talk with you first so they understand the "plan" and don't interfere in it.

What a bummer...I'm so sorry!

Yes they were the neighbors. I am happy to let the owner take what she wants, she lets me garden there for nothing and I pay for all of the plowing, manure and the like.

 

[ORChick]

I think maybe older folks aren't used to the idea of saving seed, or even of veggies that are good well into the autumn/early winter. I believe many people think of gardens as finishing at a certain time, and then being "put to bed" for the winter. So yes, I would wait till I could talk to them rationally, and explain about the seed saving and late harvest. It is probably a foreign concept to them. It won't help for this year, obviously, but you may be able to teach the "old dogs" some new tricks, and may gain helpers for next season. Stress though that they really should check with you before making assumptions about your plans.

 

[moolie]

I think there's some great advice above about taking a step back and a deep breath before talking to the neighbors. Just calmly explain your side of things and ensure that they check with you before doing anything in the garden in the future.

Do you need any seed to replace what you would have saved? I'm sure between the lot of us here that we can all send you enough to make up for the loss.

 

[Corn Woman]

Well I took the time to cool off and went and talked to the neighbor. They explained that they didn't understand seed saving and were very sorry. I feel better after we talked and they assured me they would call and ask if it's ok to go pick. They offered to pay for the items they took and I said it was not necessary I'm glad it was not wasted. I also started thinking that they are probably on fixed incomes and maybe they really needed the food. Both of us learned a good lesson in all of this and as you said ORchick next season I am sure I will have some extra help.

 

[Blaundee]

Well I took the time to cool off and went and talked to the neighbor. They explained that they didn't understand seed saving and were very sorry. I feel better after we talked and they assured me they would call and ask if it's ok to go pick. They offered to pay for the items they took and I said it was not necessary I'm glad it was not wasted. I also started thinking that they are probably on fixed incomes and maybe they really needed the food. Both of us learned a good lesson in all of this and as you said ORchick next season I am sure I will have some extra help.

I'm sorry this happened to you, but I am very pleased and impressed that you handled it in such a tactful way... maybe next year you'll have someone to water for you when you have to go out of town