Daydreaming while waiting impatiently!

[tortoise]

It's been a rough few days here. But today is a lot better and I'm HUNGRY!! Woke up hungry and had 3 fried eggs for breakfast.

My muscles had been all locked up an tense. Muscles relaxed last night and I'm much more comfortable. I can walk better and contractions are barely noticeable. We went shopping today!

I haven't had much patience for another art lesson, but he is practicing eye-hand coordination and fine motor skill exercises. I'm behind in grading his schoolwork too.

DH decided he's not going to rig up grow lights, so no seed starting this year. He wants to direct sow most everything. I hope buying seedlings (which is inevitable) does not get too expensive!

 

[Britesea]

I hate doing that! Not only is it more expensive, but you are really limited on varieties too

 

[hqueen13]

Yay for a little relief!

 

[tortoise]

I overdid it on Saturday. There is a space upstairs needing some TLC. I was hoping to have it finished for a family / play room before baby comes. (Probably not going to happen.) I was patching small holes and priming. A small area I could reach sitting down. DH was fishing wires to put in a light and ceiling fan. It was just too much. I started having contractions anytime I moved, so Sunday I spent all day in bed.

Monday too, but I was OK to get up in the evening and "cook" supper. If Tuna Helper counts as supper?

Yesterday I was able to be up long enough to clean the kitchen. Our house came with an ant problem and it has gotten worse. The ants won't take ANY bait! We have tried terro liquid, terro dual baits, and peanut butter/borax. They won't touch the baits! I think they're after WATER, not food. Our house is very dry - about 20% humidity. I'm not sure what to do! I was thinking of sprinkling borax around the bathtub, toilet, and sink so they can't get to water.

DS has not been doing well with less predictable schedule. I haven't been up to dealing with it until yesterday. It was an awful day! I can't raise my voice anymore, so he has started ignoring what I tell him. His compulsive lying is also dramatically worse. We can't believe ANYTHING that comes out of his mouth. He requires an insane level of supervision, because he will skip doing anything and everything and lie (even repeatedly!) that he did it. Everything from wiping his bottom, washing hands, doing schoolwork, chores, feeding animals. oh, washing his hair... that took THREE tries last night. Another incident like that and I'm shaving his head. I physically CANNOT be checking everything all day long. Need to eliminate some of these things.

Public school sounds really nice right now, just to get a break from him. I remind myself that these behaviors started in public school and he would slip through the cracks. He went an entire school year without completing a single writing assignment. His writing journal didn't have a single sentence in it. A couple pages had 2 words, some had doodles, most were blank. I cannot believe the teacher let that slide a whole year! Now DS is behind age-level in writing. Considering he is 2 - 3 years ahead of age level in everything else, it's a big deal. That and the 2 bullies that beat him up on the playground last year (repeatedly) are in his classroom this year. And one of them has been picking on him verbally. DS doesn't even realize it most of the time, he thought they were friends. DS is also behind in self-control and has crying outbursts when things don't go his way. Not only does that hurt his chances of forming friendships, but the school will CODDLE him and make it worse. He needs help with self-control, with working through the situation objectively and self-soothing. Comforting / coddling makes it so much worse! He doesn't belong in school. His behaviors are not disruptive ENOUGH for the school to take notice. He doesn't make friends in school and he gets withdrawn and refuses to talk to people. He isn't gifted enough to be accelerated. He's not social enough to be skipped. He won't speak up for himself and ask for harder work, but then was coming home every day with headaches and puking more often than not. The school's gifted/talented coordinator does not take us seriously and will not give him challenging enough work. In 1st grade, she tested him and placed him at mid-4th grade level for math. Then in 2nd grade, her "plan" for acceleration was to put him in 3rd grade math. No thanks, lady, he's flying through 5th grade math right now!

I'm reminding myself how frustrating the public school is so I don't feel tempted!

I have a plan for making a big flannel board to post each day's schedule for him in the kitchen. I thought it would help him deal with daily schedule changes and help him stay on task. But I need him to have a good day so I can go shopping in the afternoon and get the supplies I need to make it! Hopefully today?

 

[tortoise]

Our chickens are molting and with 2 roosters (for 11 hens), they're breeding like crazy. The roosters have seriously injured some of the hens. DH moved the roosters to the barn to give the girls time to heal and grow feathers.

We might eat a rooster. Apparently having 2 roosters increases the risk of breeding injuries.

DS had a slightly better day yesterday. He is still behind in schoolwork. His attitude was better, but his focus is terrible so it takes him forever!

 

[Denim Deb]

Wish I had some advice to offer you.

 

[tortoise]

I'm thinking of having him evaluated for ADD. He has all of the diagnostic criteria. The only differential diagnosis which is possible is giftedness. However, his IQ test last year was only 60th percentile which should rule that out. I wonder what and IQ test result would be if he could focus.

I was reading online ways to help kids with poor focus. We're already doing a lot of them, but it seems he might benefit from more immediate feedback. A WHOLE good day = big reward is not working. He's never gotten the reward. Going to break up the day and give feedback after each lesson. Also have a plan for not derailing the entire day when he doesn't focus on a subject.

Chickens are still alive.

 

[wyoDreamer]

I am sorry that you are having such a time with your son. Just believe in yourself and him and take it lesson by lesson it that is what you need to do. I think the board sounds like a good idea. Let him help design it ( pick color of ribbon or something). It may give him ownership of it. My sister let her boys pick the stamp and make the mark on the calender when they did good on schoolwork or finished one of their chores.

my nephew loved school up to 5th grade. He was a straight A student, participated all the time in class and his teachers commented on how wonderful he was.

Then the school district boundaries were re-drawn and they ended up in a different school district than his best friends. The school became predominately migrant worker kids, and unfortunately, a majority of them had parents who did not care how they behaved or did in school. The school took away the science class for a English as a second language class. The boys all picked on him because he always knew the answer and the teacher liked him. Result, he withdrew into himself, he stopped doing homework and became a C/D level student. He almost failed his Junior year and he barely graduated from high school. This is a bright kid who had a lousy school; all the original, caring teachers left after the changes because they felt they couldn't be effective teachers there and didn't want to be babysitters.

 

[hqueen13]

Have you done any research into diet and ADD? I've read several articles about the huge impact that it had on the behavior of children, not just those diagnosed with ADD. One of the suggestions I've seen is adding fermented foods to help balance the gut systems.
I hope he'll settle down soon. I'm sure he's racing to the instability in the house. If he's a high sensitive them he may be picking up all the unspoken emotions in the house and then they come out when he can't manage it any more.
Hang in there, everything will be different again soon!

 

[tortoise]

I'm surprised! This schedule works! 2 days in a row now he is doing his schoolwork promptly. Today he stayed on task through his subjects. Went back and finished up his homework, did his chores, and now has free play time! He is outside, it's beautiful weather (for winter).

A social media contact shared a video about practical ways to deal with a child's asynchronous development. I was feeling hopeful because every other source I've read states that we have to wait for kids to grow out of it... in their early 20's. I've only watched half the video, but already starting implementing a couple techniques. Such relief, we now have a solution for him arguing about everything. (really, everything)

I am feeling so much less stress with these little changes! I hope it continues to improve.