So upset with the judicial system!!!! RANT

[cknmom]

Our daughter is being sent back to Afghanistan after coming back here during her deployment to deal with a former boyfriend(father of her two youngest) and a divorce with her husband(kids don't EVER listen!!!)

We have all three kids right now, but a court just ruled that the non- costodial parent gets the kids if the custodial parent gets deployed.

This jerk is on unemployment, alligations of neglect and child abuse, mental, physical, sexual, emotional, he has been stealing my daughter's son's ss# and birth certificate, her ss# trying to get the father of her son involved, when he hasn't ever wanted to be( I know, not my values!)

DH and I were hoping to keep the kids while she was deployed, all except for the Christmas visitation which we could not stop.

I am so worried about these little girls ages 3 and 4, I don't want to put them in harms way but have no legal choice.

We will be able to keep our grandson here with us, but I can't sleep knowing what we are sending our little grand daughters into.

It will only be for 6 months, but soooo much can happen in that amount of time. I know how hard it will be for me to hand the kids over to this A**H**E, I can't even imagine if I was in another country worrying about my young children, and that I signed up for this job to make their life/future better.

Sorry about going on like this, I am so upset that the courts won't listen, this JERK was supposed to be paying a measly $400.00 a month since Sept. and has paid $186.00!! He is laid off, getting unemployment, and his girlfriend is working( as what, I don't know) But he assured the judge that he could take care of the girls(even though he can't pay child support)

She will have to pay him almost $600.00 a month, which is not the point, they are worth many times over, it's the point that he won't pay and he won't take proper care of the children and she HAS to pay and have virtually no contact with the girls(we've been through this before)

He DEMANDS everything, but will give NOTHING!! Our daughter leaves the 28th, since we were expecting to not have them here for Christmas we planned things with relatives who they don't know for the Thanksgiving holidays, since the court orders say he gets them on or around the date she leaves, he is demanding that he gets them on the 28th!! We were planing to be gone longer than that. He says if he doesn't get them then, he will put out an Amber Alert(he is too stupid to realize that that is not HIS choice!)
and charge us with kidnapping!! I get sooooo frazzeled even thinking of this JERK, he is so stupid that him and his girlfriend contacted our grandson's father to get him to help them get the girls and they would help him get his son(that he hasn't ever been interested in)

They were stupid enough to send these email correspnsances to DD's lawyer! There is possible identity theft charges and conspiracy. I would like to see them all in jail for a very long time(unfortunately, I know they will not ever serve a day).

They use these children like pawns to get revenge, all we want to do is protect them. All DD wanted to do was to give her children a better future and help protect and defend our wonderful country. Now she doesn't even have the respect of a lot of our country, let alone the appreciation(??).

I am so upset right now and at a loss of what to do except cry, which does no good whatsoever!

Thank you all for letting me vent, my whole family is upset and not having any options but to let this JERK have his way.

Monica

 

[Dace]

Oh Monica, I am so sorry that you are having to go thru this! What a terrible situation.

One can only hope that having the girls is more work than he is anticipating and maybe if you can maintain open lines of communication, he will turn to you when he needs help with them.

Big hugs to you! Hang in there, it will all work out.

 

[sweetcorn]

That's just sickening , as a grandma , my heart goes out to you. We've had to deal with bad parent with our only grandchild, who is 1 1/2 . Thankfully she was finally taken from the mother by CPS and our son now has sole custody. We were worried sick every day our grand babe was in her care. An ambulance driver up here called CPS on her after the baby was hospitalized and they did nothing. Ambulance driver because of the filthy house ,how dehydrated she let the baby get , she was on deaths door , and the mom's indifference to the baby .I called them later too , no help. CPS here did nothing . the long story short , she took off with baby to Texas a few months later and was living with the baby in a pop up camper with no food, milk, electric, water, air conditioning , with a felon and the baby wasn't in good shape and the mom's own grandma called cps on her , bless that woman. The mom continued to failed drug tests , wouldn't take the parenting classes or get a job to support the baby and have a decent place to live , so the state of texas let my son come get her. I understand what you are going through !! I will keep u and those kids in my prayers ! Please report him if he doesn't care for them properly !

 

[FarmerChick]

wow monica that is just awful. your final nerve must be frazzled, but a little crying sure helps for stress relief!

since the situation can't be changed right now, be civil to him. Yup, the final situation is he gets the kids. You must talk with him, no matter what you want to say, talk decent. THAT WAY you charm your way into true contact with the kids. If you can see them, chat with them, etc. you can maintain some proper control. Hope that can happen for you! In the end, drawing him in with a little honey while biting your tongue, means you can ensure seeing the girls, keeps you in contact if anything goes wrong. So being sweeter to him means you can see the girls I hope. All of your effort will be to protect the girls. I hope you will be able to have contact with them!?

UGH----wow...I never wish anyone had to be in these situations! In the end, he will get his Monica. We reap what we sow. hang in there and I will keep your daughter in my prayers. She is doing her country a true service!!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I am so sorry. I have no good advice, because I have never been there. But I will pray, if you don't mind? I will continue to pray for God's hand of protection on your daughter, while she is deployed, and for your grandchildren, that they may continue to be protected and safe and cared for until their mother returns to them.

 

[roosmom]

This sounds just like my situation used to be.....I tried to go into the military when my kids were young and was told that the noncustodial parent will get the kids.....why didnt they warn her?
Sad to say there isnt much you can do except to hope he tires of them quickly, and do not vocally bash him and drive him away. and No it does not ever get any better.
I feel for you, my mom and dad went thru the same thing.

 

[cknmom]

Thank you all for your incouraging words and prayers. I try my hardest to be civil with him, sometimes I fail. I won't be able to see the girls because we live in CA and he lives in OR. When he had them before he would not let me talk to them or our grandson who he has no claim to. Most of the time he won't even let oour DD talk to them, but boy if she doesnt let him talk to them, he is all over her andcalls her superiors.

I have called child services on him twice, so there are reports out there. I have had the police do welfare checks also a few times.

He is supposed to set up an email account just for communication between the girls and their mom. But since they can't read, who can be sure if he will read them what she really writes or tells them something totally different. Or if he will write to her what they actually say. So DD will be saving all communications both ways to prove anything she might have to later. She also will keep a log of phonecalls and weather she gets to talk to them or not. She will do this in front of superiors so they can back her up.

All anyone can do now is to pray nothing happwns to the girls and that he doesn't take off with them.

I feel a little better having talked about this, thanks.

Monica

 

[roosmom]

What about HIS parents? Are you on ok terms with them? Can you trust them to keep an eye out?

 

[MorelCabin]

A little tip for you...if he is a drinker...children's services will take the kids from him right away if he is intoxicated and there is no sober person in the home to care for them responsibly. You may be able to use this little peice of info sometime. You'll have to figure out the exact right time to use this card but it does work.

 

[Homesteadmom]

I feel for you & understand what you are going thru. My ex was absolutely horrible too about not following thru on things, but if I slipped boy howdy he was filing paperwork with the courts and making nasty phone calls. I was going to suggest you file for Grandparent rights, but being that you ive in seperate states that would make it a little harder. But maybe you could get a weekly phone call set up that way between you & the girls & record it so if they say anything derogatory about him & his care you have evidence of it & not hearsay. Does he have any other children? If so what is the situation with them? Does he provide for them? See them? If not find out why, maybe there is help that way. Just some thoughts & ideas for you. I really do feel for those little girls & their brother haveing to be seperated like that. Courts don't think of those things do they?