Are we living our dream?

[flowerbug]

this is an aside but it fits with the topic of food distribution centers and i find it interesting:

"
In Auroville, the universal township where I live, there is an amazing project called Pour Tous (‘for everyone’ in French) Distribution Center. It is a food cooperative where all the members pay a fixed amount per month. In return they can take whatever they need from the shop. There are no price tags on anything, so when you leave the shop, you do not know how much you spent and whether you have taken goods beyond the value of your monthly contribution or not. This makes people really think about what is a real need and what is merely a ‘want’.
"

this is from a book i'm reading by a guy who with his family (wife and young child) moved to India and bought some land and started living a life they wanted to live (restoring a certain type of forest and living a more direct way with nature). this is not the kind of life that most people are living now or want to live, but i've followed them for some years now to see what happens next.

 

[Medicine Woman]

I know I have to take the initiative and assume responsibility for my family’s grocery shopping because every time I expect DH to just pick up a gallon of milk he comes home with the whole darn store and I can’t organize things after a while. He buys unhealthy food choices too and it’s really harming his overall health. Also the perishable food items have a limited shelf life and are vulnerable to certain insects and attract rodents.
I had a talk with HG yesterday while he was away for a stress test about us taking over and planning healthy meals from our pantry and freezer until we have some kind of order. She agreed with me. DH loves going to an all you can eat buffet. The trouble is he considers it a challenge. You aren’t supposed to eat all you can eat. Then he leaves and feels sick. Sometimes he asks me why he is suffering so much and I don’t have the heart to explain to him what he is doing to himself.
I’m alone with the baby today and she is asleep in my arms so I turned off the pumpkin I am cooking in sugar and butter to put up in mason jars. I am cooking 7 various size pumpkins. Last time I did that DH opened a jar whenever he didn’t know what to eat and he might have eaten a whole quart in one sitting so I need to hide most of them. I think at this point I need to save DH’s life. He will eat a salad if I get there and make one but he will also eat a spaghetti, with garlic bread, and potato salad with a cake for dessert. See??? I’m really not trying to trash talk him. In all honesty I had an eating disorder when I was with my ex. I think he has a fear of starvation or something. He has already requested I allow for $200 of shrimp tomorrow. I don’t know if I even have room for that much shrimp in the freezer. And the reason I am alone with the baby today is because HG and DH are out fishing today with a friend who loves fishing. Neither have active fishing licenses so I’m hoping it’s a normal trip with no one checking. I don’t think DH has ever fished without a license before.
But as time goes and I am working out at the gym, I am feeling better and DH asked me to just scan his fob so he doesn’t lose his membership. He goes maybe half the time. I feel like I am sounding unfair because in truth he really does bring a lot to the table… literally. He farms, builds things, dumpster dives for free treasures, among other things so it’s not like he doesn’t deserve a lot. But diabetes will either kill him or cripple him and I am not as strong as I once was nor do I have that big house all set up for a sick man anymore.
He plans on getting his left knee replaced in January. That gives me time to get stronger, more organized and see if I can challenge him to eat for life.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am really saying all this from a place of love and concern.

 

[LaurenRitz]

That gives me time to get stronger, more organized and see if I can challenge him to eat for life.

Eat for life is the big one here.

It's not an easy situation, but you can make small changes that may have huge effects. A little less sugar, a little less salt. If he automatically salts his food, omit salt in the preparation. Light syrup in canning. That kind of thing. If he doesn't like going to the gym, find out why. Maybe a stationary bike or a weights rack at home?

If he fears starvation (which is very possible) then feeling satiated is going to be hugely important. That means meat or fat. Although our bodies are triggered by sugar and carbs, it's a quick high and a quick fall, and fat doesn't trigger a sugar rush.

If the cake is not in the house, will he eat something else, or go to the store to get it himself? It's a psychological game as much as anything else.

 

[flowerbug]

i keep asking Mom to not buy junk and bring it home but she does anyways. i try to avoid it and not eat it when it is here but it being here is a challenge i sometimes fail.

 

[Mini Horses]

Agree with both above replies. You are being unfair to him to not point out some ways he needs to change what he eats...kindly, of course. Remind the issues with diabetes and devastating effects. What you cook and limited amounts of "bad" foods even allowed in house at a time will matter. The gym is a good thing for him to do but, talk about why he
doesn't want to go. Then work around the time and exercise issues he's concerned with, to hopefully increase his going. I'm thinking that he "might be" on the too heavy side of his weight...if that's right, then suggesting that you are wanting to drop a few pounds & everyone in house will need to eat healthier to help you! No blame, no shame.

Both of you are at an age to NEED TO pay attention to your health. It's just part of living better, longer. Eat healthy & stay active!

 

[LaurenRitz]

My guess is that his knees are part of the problem with the gym. That being said, there might be lots of reasons.

My Dad refused to go to the gym because of all the scantilly clad ladies. He also loved swimming but he would never go for the same reason.

I agree that depending on his personality making it about your diet and your health might make a difference.