Bee~ Journal of then...

[Islay]

Bee, you sum it up perfectly!

I speak to so many people (usually on massive salaries) who tell my how 'lucky' I am not to work and spend more time concentrating on frugal living, growing veg, looking after my son, and so on. I never know quite how to tell them that actually it was a choice - we get by on my boyfriend's pitiful salary, we budget obsessively, we're desperately trying to squirrel enough away to buy a property with more space so we can do even more.

No one seems to understand that we make a choice that many many people (not everyone, I accept) can make, they just choose not to.

 

[ORChick]

My DH worked for many years in Silicon Valley, in middle management. He made a very good salary, though nowhere near what the "Big Guys" were making. Shortly before he retired (at 51) he went to his boss's house to a party. Large house, good neighbourhood, lots of mod cons, and every latest gadget. 2 new cars in the drive. His boss (being his boss) earned more than he did, and his wife earned just about the same, worked for the same company at the same level. (Our family income was much, much less, as my job was more for love than money) His boss said something along the lines of "It must be nice ... I'd like to retire early too, but we couldn't possibly afford it"!!! Our house at the time was small, and in-elegant, the first house we bought when we finally had saved enough money almost 20 years before. I had a big garden, and we both had a very resonable commute. DH retired sortly after I did; we could have stayed where we were, but chose instead to move somewhere cheaper. His former boss, so far as we know, suffered losses in the burst "dot.com bubble", and is, no doubt, even less able to afford to retire - early or otherwise.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I had this very conversation today with a young co-worker.

She was very upset and frustrated because she is behind on her electric and gas bills and if she pays those she may lose her apartment and have to move in with her parents.

Now this gal is a HARD worker - just underpaid and a little too "modern".

Evidently her AC bill for the old house poorly insulated house she lives in put her over the top.

I tried to explain that even though she WANTED to pay all her bills and everything - people CAN live without gas or even electric lights for a month or two if necessary. Especially at this time of the year when it is not too cold or hot and daylight is still lasting a while. At least that way she could keep her home and catch up a bit.

I explained how she could use canned foods or even a ice chest to keep her food safe. Cold baths and wash ups won't kill you either and heck we even have a pool pass since we work for the school district and there are nice hot showers there!

She said, "That stuff is just easy for you. I don't think I could do it."

People are so dependent now a days.

Goodness she should try living at MY house!

I've two friends who I've had these conversations with. One recently just told me that if they don't catch up their back due rent, they'll have to move by the 31. She had also just quit her job because she didn't like her co-workers (stupid move in this economy IMO). Not much further into the conversation she told me she was thinking about getting her nose pierced!!!

I told her nose piercings cost money and she better be thinking of paying her rent instead!

It's not a matter of they couldn't live more frugally, it's more the stuff they want is more important to them than whether they eat or sleep under a bridge.

 

[Farmfresh]

At least my friend is OPEN to my ideas of frugal living. She sees me do it and will at least consider it (Before going to Daddy for a loan ).

So many people out there don't even seem to understand the CONCEPT of making choices.

I have heard people complaining about the amount of money their kid spends on text messaging, for example, but they never even consider that giving their 12 year old kid a cell is a CHOICE. They also don't correlate big houses with high mortgages and electric bills or that new car with a necessary second job. They are SO blind!

 

[MorelCabin]

You are so right Farmfresh...when I see a big house all I see is a HUGE heating bill for alot of wasted space. I like to have just enough house that you actually use every inch of it. AND keep it simple! No one needs 90% of the junk they have. I read an article a while back that explained how ppl are so obsessed with having everything that they have to rent storage space to keep the excess...now how dumb is that? You obviously don't need it if you are going to store it indefinitely!
One thing I hope to never give up is frugality and simplicity. I know that sounds crazy coming form the property I have for sale but we didn't spend that much to purchase it, and we worked many many hours to get it to the value it holds now...It was a great investment and we saw that 6 years ago.
We live quite comfortably on one income, and I would never go to work just so we can have more 'stuff'

 

[Henrietta23]

Having live in my little 3 bedroom ranch with one bathroom in the wrong part of town for 20 years now, I have a number of long time friends and aquaintences who wonder why we've never moved up. They don't get that we have no need or desire to keep up with the Joneses. I'd like more land, but a bigger house? Not necessary.
Here I don't get "must be nice" I get "poor you".

 

[Beekissed]

Oh, Morel!!!! LOVE your siggy line!!!

So its very widespread, isn't it? Doesn't that make you all just sigh? Its sad because I really care about some of these friends and it hurts to watch them struggle needlessly.

Ann is right....they seem to be not only obtuse, but darn near blind! I think when I sat down to pay monthly bills that it would become crystal clear where the money goes!

Maybe they are paying most bills with a credit card and are only getting the credit card bills which, though large, are only a few envelopes to open?

Anyone out there used to live like this? What awakened you to the fact that a lot of your outgoing money was due to the fact that you had lost sight of need vs. want? Knowing this would give me some insight into how my friend thinks or feels......

 

[Beekissed]

Side note!!!!! I pick up my baby boy from the airport late this evening!!!!

 

[noobiechickenlady]

Yay! Welcome home Bee's baby boy

I think its a fear of not running with the flock. A fear of being ridiculed, or of not being thought of as a success.

I think you hit the nail right square on the head, Bee. We all seem to know people who "just couldn't live that way" or "wish they could do that sort of thing"

Like you said, all you can do is continue to be an example. When/if they are ready, they'll think back on what you've said.

 

[Ldychef2k]

I am pretty new to the SS lifestyle, and really am only doing it marginally. But I have made a lot of changes in how I do things, and friends and family have noticed. I have spoken casually to many about the things I am doing, and they are interested and encouraging. But when I offered the opportunity to come over and have a demonstration as a group, no one was interested. It is probably too much work ! I have to smile, though, because I know who they will come to when TSHTF.