X-mas is killing me already. I'm stressing out a LOT about xmas. I have one person who gave me an idea for a gift for them. $7 shipped to the house. Then I can add jams to the basket, since they go through a LOT of jam, lol. My mother, my sister (still not sure if she's officially splitting with her boyfriend or not), my brother and his wife and daughter and my dad are all big "dunnos" for gifts. I have some minor ideas for some, but I just don't know!!! My brother and SIL are both saying "don't get us anything, we don't need anything". I will have to put together a gift basket with applebutter, peach candy and then figure out wtf to make for the SIL (as those are just the things my brother enjoys) and some other stuff. My sister is totally an "I DUNNO!!!" She never cooks so I can't do anything like that, she's weird about soap, etc. So everything I make/can make is basically a no-go with her. Jason and I have said that we're not doing presents. We're going to go to the movies or something a day or two before, and that'll be our xmas. I like the idea a lot better than all the other crap. So, I'm just stressing out about xmas.
My bi-polar is kicking my arse. I'm in a totally off mood, and just can't seem to dig myself out of it. I've tried the St. Johns Wort tea, but I might be in a mild manic stage, which then the tea will only make it worse. I just want to sleep through everything, and don't have motivation to do anything. Now, that sounds like a depressive stage, however, I know that this can also be the signs of a manic stage. It's just really hard to pin down. I know that I haven't been in the mood to drink anything (usually if I get manic, I really want a drink). It's just difficult to figure out what the hey is going on with the mood right now. Jason has been worried because I just haven't snapped out of it like usual, I'm just quiet and haven't been talking much, enjoying much or anything of the sort. So, who knows... Hopefully something snaps back into place. Maybe once I get xmas, the next show, the job and all that junk figured out and set, then I'll snap out, who knows.
Speaking of the show, I'm out of ink... $20 to get a black ink cartridge, plus taxes. I need the ink to get the labels printed out for the rest of the soaps. I also need to get baskets from goodwill to make up gift baskets for sale at the show. I need something to hold everything into place though... Cellophane or something. I was thinking about doing gift bags, just arranging the stuff in a nice gift bag and all that hoop-lah, but don't think it'd draw the eye like a basket would. :/ I haven't even made any attempts at adding any new products to the line.
My back has been acting up. Sometime a month/month and a half ago I did something to my back and it's been "killing me" ever since. Some nights I wake up having difficulty breathing because the effer hurts so bad. Jas has cracked it, given me massages out the ying-yang, etc, and it still comes back. I've tried taking ibuprofen, tylenol, a combo of the two, etc. The only thing that makes it go away/feel any better is vicodin. BUT, it usually isn't terrible during the day. It basically hurts during the day, and then some nights feels like someone is trying to kill me, lol. Ok, so I'm being a tad dramatic, but it does literally feel like I'm having back labor all over again, only higher in my back. I called around to find a chiropractor who takes the Access insurance. The one right near us does, but it won't cover x-rays, which are $100. So, there's that.
So, now back to stressing out about xmas presents and the show, lol. Just got a text from my friend who says that they want the tables set up on Thursday, not Saturday morning... That means, all your stuff gets to sit there for a day and a half, and you lose a day and a half worth of work (yes, I'm a last minute gal). I'm not really taking a fancy to that idea at all.
I called my old employer to see if I could get back in. It has never been an issue to come back before, but the last time I was working, I had to leave on a regular basis and couldn't make it to work some days because my parents couldn't watch the boys. So... they are "unwilling to rehire me due to previous attendance". I'm crushed, to say the least. I loved my job, and I loved the people I worked with. It was an $8.30/hour job, which, for around here, is good for someone with a basic education. Not only does it crush me because I cannot go back to a job that I liked, but it also makes my prospects for other jobs grim, since I obviously won't be able to get good references, since this was the only job I've worked at, since I was 18. I just don't know what to say, besides that I'm crushed. Everything was starting to come together. Guess I should have known better, lol. I will put in an application for Rockview State Prison, to do the paperwork, but if that doesn't pan out (my hopes are crushed at this point), then I'll be lucky to get a minimum wage job here ($7.15 an hour). Up until this, my big worries were buying x-mas presents and getting a deer. 
