cleaning

[ChickenMomma91]

Does anyone else have trouble getting their kids to actually clean something?!

This is what my 13-yr old stepson called a clean sink. He got the counter area ok but that bowl was disgusting! He was in that bathroom no more than 20 minutes ‘cleaning’ the sink and tub for me due to needing to avoid cleaning chemicals till around June. I made him reclean both of them because the tub wasn’t much better and have grounded him from his electronics since he rushed back to his iPhone (deactivated btw, he uses it to watch YouTube all day) so now that he was bored and went to bed at freaking 6:30 I ended up doing what the doctor said not to. I scrubbed my stove earlier and got it looking almost new and then had to turn around and make an example of what clean actually looks like. We only get him on weekends when his mother isn’t being a female dog and this is the first time he’s been home for almost a month. They use him like a Cinderella so you would figure he knows how to clean a bathroom the once in a blue moon that I actually ask him to. Rant over!

 

[Beekissed]

I've found that it's best to have routine chores that they know are their's, no matter what. Like laundry...as soon as my boys were old enough to do their own laundry, they did their own laundry. That helps the house in general.

Then, when no one would claim the pee around the commode, each boy had a week of toilet cleaning duties, alternating weeks. I knew I wasn't peeing around the commode, so why am I cleaning up all this pee? These kinds of chores let them know they are part of the house, they have certain chores to help maintain the house and soon they become part of their routine. It also lessened the amount of free wheeling around the commode...when they have to clean up their own messes, the messes get smaller.

As a single working mom of three boys, there had to be some level of help from them every day, because I'm not a slave either. I live here, they live here, we all live here...so why is only one person cleaning, cooking, etc.?

That's the mindset they need to have....they are part of the house and that comes with certain responsibilities. If these are not done, then TV, whatever they choose to do, is not available until the chores are done.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I'm all for kids having responsibilities and doing chores, but I've always had a soft spot for the kid who treks back and forth between homes...a new set of rules at each place...new siblings...new "steps". Thirteen is a tough age for kiddos and yep, they will act out. Maybe it's the 'gramma' in me that wants to just give 'em all a big ol' hug!

 

[NH Homesteader]

When my parents got divorced, because my dad was a cheating jerk, my mother never said a bad word about him to us. She never let on that she hated him and was never anything but cordial. Now I know how she felt, but I am incredibly thankful that I never knew about it and was able to make my own decision. I hope he's able to make a decision he's happy with, sad for kids to have to deal with crappy situations like that.

 

[FarmerJamie]

All I am saying is there were times I bit my tongue until it bled. The eldest figured it about a year after the divorce and came to live with me. She was just finishing up college when my now wife came into the picture. The youngest is figuring it out. The moral differences between my ex and me are night and day, but the kids notice. The people I was being bad-mouthed to noticed. Taking the high road is the more difficult route, but the view is fanatastic. Waiting for the son's anger to subside.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

he did such awful things that it was impossible.

It happens... my last and (only public fight) with the ex was when my daughter left her husband for physically abusing her and cheating on her and my ex sided with her HUSBAND???? This was only a couple years ago.

The ex has gone off the deep end with a televangelist who supports "the man is the head of the household BS"... I'm afraid after being divorced for over 20 years I finally told HIM and his wacko wife just how f'd up they are! You don't mess with a mama defending her babies even if they are over 30!

 

[Beekissed]

That's kids for you. Especially male kids...men typically don't see dirt like we see it. My dad was different in that and was more of a stickler for clean than any woman, but most men just don't see dirt.

I once clocked my youngest at doing two sinks full of dishes at 13 hrs to complete the task...and then he had to redo some of them because he didn't get them clean.

 

[Mini Horses]

Then, when no one would claim the pee around the commode, each boy had a week of toilet cleaning duties, alternating weeks. I knew I wasn't peeing around the commode, so why am I cleaning up all this pee?

I live here, they live here, we all live here...so why is only one person cleaning, cooking, etc.?

My son & daughter had "chores" in our house. When son complained that his favorite shirt was dirty, I quickly showed him how to sort, wash, hang out, collect & fold!! He loved to cook & learned to clean up from that nicely, can clean a house well. Good thing!! When divorced and alone it all came in handy. He had learned to grocery shop well and when living away with only himself to PAY for things, became pretty thrifty.

Daughter was always less efficient at cooking than him but, she learned to do it nicely after leaving home.

 

[ChickenMomma91]

I'm all for kids having responsibilities and doing chores, but I've always had a soft spot for the kid who treks back and forth between homes...a new set of rules at each place...new siblings...new "steps". Thirteen is a tough age for kiddos and yep, they will act out. Maybe it's the 'gramma' in me that wants to just give 'em all a big ol' hug!

I do treat him a lot softer than I probably should but on the other side of the coin we don’t have the behavioral issues they do. We let him be a kid and be loud (but not too loud) and horse around but his stepdad is so strict he makes me look like Glenda the good fairy despite having to crack down when he was younger.

His grandparents (my in-laws) treated him like a bloody prince and at age 6 when I first came into the picture they were still wiping his butt for him! I knew he knew how so when he tried asking me to do it I put my foot down. He didn’t know how to tie his shoes because no one but his father (my amazing hubby) would take the time to teach him. I ended up in a screaming match with both the ex wife and my in laws over it. I flat out told them that if he came back in (insert expletive) Velcro shoes again I would cut them up and throw them away. We spent the extra money to buy him new tie up shoes and spent a week of summer vacation teaching him how to tie his shoes. They didn’t believe me till they picked him up and asked where his shoes were. I asked where his lace ups went, he hasn’t had Velcro shoes since. I’m a female dog when I need to be and 9 out of 10 it’s defending him and fighting for him to have a better life. When he’s older and has kids he’ll see what I did but now I’m the not so evil but still kinda mean stepmom.

 

[ChickenMomma91]

Ex's that don't get along......I despise mine. I can't wait for him to die so I can spit in his coffin and piss on his grave. I'm REALLY trying to be nice here.....

I hear ya! I have a couple exs that I can’t wait to see off the face of this earth. But none top the red-headed monster that I’m stuck with through Joey. He has even told me I’m a better mom and he wishes he could stay here. He called me ‘mom’ in front of her and she looked like she was gonna have a coronary It was an honest mistake, I don’t make him call me mom most of the time he calls me Kaite but I love hearing him call me mom because I know it’s voluntary and out of respect if not love.

He did scrub the toilet and spent half an hour in it. I only had to point out one area he missed and he cleaned it up without a single grumble because he knows he screwed up yesterday. As thanks for not fighting me on it he got to play some Halo till supper was ready.