cleaning

[frustratedearthmother]

I'm all for kids having responsibilities and doing chores, but I've always had a soft spot for the kid who treks back and forth between homes...a new set of rules at each place...new siblings...new "steps". Thirteen is a tough age for kiddos and yep, they will act out. Maybe it's the 'gramma' in me that wants to just give 'em all a big ol' hug!

 

[ChickenMomma91]

I'm all for kids having responsibilities and doing chores, but I've always had a soft spot for the kid who treks back and forth between homes...a new set of rules at each place...new siblings...new "steps". Thirteen is a tough age for kiddos and yep, they will act out. Maybe it's the 'gramma' in me that wants to just give 'em all a big ol' hug!

I do treat him a lot softer than I probably should but on the other side of the coin we don’t have the behavioral issues they do. We let him be a kid and be loud (but not too loud) and horse around but his stepdad is so strict he makes me look like Glenda the good fairy despite having to crack down when he was younger.

His grandparents (my in-laws) treated him like a bloody prince and at age 6 when I first came into the picture they were still wiping his butt for him! I knew he knew how so when he tried asking me to do it I put my foot down. He didn’t know how to tie his shoes because no one but his father (my amazing hubby) would take the time to teach him. I ended up in a screaming match with both the ex wife and my in laws over it. I flat out told them that if he came back in (insert expletive) Velcro shoes again I would cut them up and throw them away. We spent the extra money to buy him new tie up shoes and spent a week of summer vacation teaching him how to tie his shoes. They didn’t believe me till they picked him up and asked where his shoes were. I asked where his lace ups went, he hasn’t had Velcro shoes since. I’m a female dog when I need to be and 9 out of 10 it’s defending him and fighting for him to have a better life. When he’s older and has kids he’ll see what I did but now I’m the not so evil but still kinda mean stepmom.

 

[baymule]

I don't know about your state, but here a kid can go before the judge at age 12 and tell which parent he/she wants to live with. Sounds like this kid would be better off with the not so evil, but still kinda mean stepmom.

 

[ChickenMomma91]

We tried that when he was about ten. He got too nervous and clammed up. Wouldn’t tell the judge or the lawyers anything. Especially if his mom and stepdad were in the room. Plus money is tight with the new baby coming so we can’t afford another fight in court just now. We’ve been playing the waiting game hoping the stepdad will get fed up and send him down here for good. The mom has a warped sense of attachment to the poor kid so she fights tooth and nail every time we bring it up about him coming here I stay. I think it’s cause he looks and acts like his dad and I’m pretty sure she still has feelings for him which makes me want to skewer her of course. I remember purposely leaving a love mark on his neck one time when he went to pick Joey up. He didn’t notice but she got all pissy and pointed it out. I was in the car and got to see a death glare while hubby shrugged it off. She hasn’t tried anything since in that department

 

[baymule]

Ex's that don't get along......I despise mine. I can't wait for him to die so I can spit in his coffin and piss on his grave. I'm REALLY trying to be nice here.....

 

[ChickenMomma91]

Ex's that don't get along......I despise mine. I can't wait for him to die so I can spit in his coffin and piss on his grave. I'm REALLY trying to be nice here.....

I hear ya! I have a couple exs that I can’t wait to see off the face of this earth. But none top the red-headed monster that I’m stuck with through Joey. He has even told me I’m a better mom and he wishes he could stay here. He called me ‘mom’ in front of her and she looked like she was gonna have a coronary It was an honest mistake, I don’t make him call me mom most of the time he calls me Kaite but I love hearing him call me mom because I know it’s voluntary and out of respect if not love.

He did scrub the toilet and spent half an hour in it. I only had to point out one area he missed and he cleaned it up without a single grumble because he knows he screwed up yesterday. As thanks for not fighting me on it he got to play some Halo till supper was ready.

 

[NH Homesteader]

When my parents got divorced, because my dad was a cheating jerk, my mother never said a bad word about him to us. She never let on that she hated him and was never anything but cordial. Now I know how she felt, but I am incredibly thankful that I never knew about it and was able to make my own decision. I hope he's able to make a decision he's happy with, sad for kids to have to deal with crappy situations like that.

 

[ChickenMomma91]

We try not to bad mouth her or her husband but unfortunately she does on occasion do or say something that ‘flips my lid’and I end up raving about it. Most times I can wait till he’s either in bed or I’m at work asking my coworkers for a good cheap assasin but there are the times where I just explode. Joey generally ducks into his room as soon as he sees my face upon hearing her newest screw up but I feel bad afterwards and apologize to him for losing my cool.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Don't really like my ex all that much either - and I can't tell you the amount of times I kept my mouth shut when I wanted nothing but to scream insults at him and about him. But kids shouldn't be put in the middle it gives them absolutely NO good choice. Like it or not - most kids love both parents and don't want to say anything bad about either one of them. My son is 38 and daughter 33 and they both told me later in life that they didn't know how much I despise the man, lol. And in all actuality - the main reason I ever got ticked off at him was when I thought he wasn't doing right by his kids.

 

[FarmerJamie]

All I am saying is there were times I bit my tongue until it bled. The eldest figured it about a year after the divorce and came to live with me. She was just finishing up college when my now wife came into the picture. The youngest is figuring it out. The moral differences between my ex and me are night and day, but the kids notice. The people I was being bad-mouthed to noticed. Taking the high road is the more difficult route, but the view is fanatastic. Waiting for the son's anger to subside.