Dealing with MIL during FIL ALZ

[frustratedearthmother]

So sorry he (and your family) are going through all this. Both of my folks had air mattresses that had a wave motion to help prevent and treat bedsores.

I hate to bring this up - but would he qualify for hospice care? I'm not sure how it works with nursing homes - but they followed my folks into the assisted living facility and were wonderful to both of my parents. They were the ones responsible for acquiring the mattresses (and lot of other benefits) for my folks.

 

[CrealCritter]

So sorry he (and your family) are going through all this. Both of my folks had air mattresses that had a wave motion to help prevent and treat bedsores.

I hate to bring this up - but would he qualify for hospice care? I'm not sure how it works with nursing homes - but they followed my folks into the assisted living facility and were wonderful to both of my parents. They were the ones responsible for acquiring the mattresses (and lot of other benefits) for my folks.

He's going back to the nursing home today for non intensive physical therapy, to see if they can get him up and walking again.

 

[Mini Horses]

Agree with your son.

Agree with you, ALZ sucks.

Told my DD -- if I go that route, shoot me! Crank up the back hoe & take me to the "back forty". DONE -- do not go thru it, I don't want to.

 

[sumi]

 

[Lazy Gardener]

So very sorry you are going through this, CC. Yes, nursing homes do need to be held accountable, as do all medical personnel. My mom's body was sent to the funeral home, conveniently, before the autopsy requested by my sister could be done. This should have never happened, b/c there are check points all along the way before a body is released to a funeral home. We should have pursued legal action, but did not b/c I wanted to spare my dad the added emotional trauma. My heart cries for the nursing home resident who does not have a strong advocate.

 

[CrealCritter]

So very sorry you are going through this, CC. Yes, nursing homes do need to be held accountable, as do all medical personnel. My mom's body was sent to the funeral home, conveniently, before the autopsy requested by my sister could be done. This should have never happened, b/c there are check points all along the way before a body is released to a funeral home. We should have pursued legal action, but did not b/c I wanted to spare my dad the added emotional trauma. My heart cries for the nursing home resident who does not have a strong advocate.

Thanks for the reply... Its just so sad my FIL was a very smart man he was a very good mechanical engineer. Its just so sad and hard to see him lay there like a zombie. ALZ sucks

 

[CrealCritter]

Nursing home doctor called my mother in law this morning. That my father in law has taken a turn for the worst. His breathing very shallow, he can't swallow any longer and he estimates he has no more than 3 days left before he passes.

I took my wife to the nursing home, shortly after we got there, the hospice doctor came in for an evaluation with the nursing home doctor. They both agreed 24 to 72 hours left until he passes. They started pain medication, so he can pass in comfort. My wife is torn up about this. I finally convinced her to come home and take a nap because she's still sick. I promised her I would wake her up after an hour and take her back to the nursing home.

ALZ is absolutely horrible.

We all are very sad

 

[CrealCritter]

It was beautiful funeral service. 4 of my sons and brother in law gave elegies.

Only one jerk in the funereal procession who passed pulled over cars across the center line. I got so upset, I cut him off and gave the a__ hole a piece on my mind. I was ready to get out and kick his a__ but my wife (my conscience) said its not worth it, we don't have time for the a__ hole.

 

[Mini Horses]

Sounds like the right decision -- for the moment, at least.


Can't believe it will stay that simple.

 

[Lazy Gardener]

You are married to your wife. So, any decisions you make must reflect that... not your MIL desires. If you wanted to take it over as retirement income, that would be an option. But, since you have no desire to do that, the wise thing to do would be let/help your MIL sell it. Then, she can do what she wants to do with the money. Beware, there are likely some legal details that you need to look into re: selling or passing property on to relatives, and how that relates to the state/medical system garnishing the value to pay past/present and future medical bills. DO THE HOMEWORK. It might be in the best interests of you and? sibs to deal with the sale of the property now instead of waiting. The state may even garnish the property to pay the NH debt of your FIL. In Maine, I believe there is a 5 year rule. The state can go back 5 years after property has been deeded to relatives to garnish property value for medical debt.