Ema ~ Today I quit my job!!

[i_am2bz]

Maybe you quitting will finally be the catalyst to get this person fired...and as another poster said, the owner will bring you back to replace her. Sweet justice!

 

[Dace]

Best of luck to you

 

[TanksHill]

It goes to show there are bullies of all ages. The management should have been making more of an effort to have formal complaints against her put on record. It's obvious you are not the first to have issues. Then they would have grounds to fire her.

If anything you should write one so maybe the next person will not have to endure the same thing you went through.

Enjoy spring!!!

g

 

[Icu4dzs]

It goes to show there are bullies of all ages. The management should have been making more of an effort to have formal complaints against her put on record. It's obvious you are not the first to have issues. Then they would have grounds to fire her.

If anything you should write one so maybe the next person will not have to endure the same thing you went through.

I agree with TH completely here. This woman is a bully. It appears to show up in many levels of the employment arena. My DD is going through a similar problem in her job. She likes the job and has a superior (not really her boss but one "rank" over her or so) that is being very difficult with the same style of "bully" tactics. The fact that she has trouble with men and the women is typical of this. It appears that the men (from what you have said) do NOT stand still and allow her to get away with it. Unfortunately, she apparently has the authority to sack them so she does and tries to hire women she thinks she can "control". When she finds she CAN'T control them, she goes on the "destroy their character" path and that is where your "reputation" began to take a nose dive. This is a predictable pattern and one that can be seen in many areas of the employment arena. (as I said, my DD called me this week with the exact same story re: that woman who "out ranks" (so to speak) her.

I gave her some advice which won't do much good here because you took the first piece of advice I gave DD...resign and while you are leaving, make certain your exit interview with the REAL boss explicitly describes the problems...particularly since there have been a significant number of other employees with the same/similar difficulty.

This woman is frustrated and takes it out on others. It may be that she is frustrated with her job, her husband/lack of husband or any one of a number of "failures" in her life. One of the other pieces of advice I gave DD was to find out everything she could about this woman and play to her ego (weak suit). Take her out to lunch, buy her some flowers for her birthday, etc. Do something so overwhelmingly kind and nice that she is completely "dis-armed" and caught "off-guard" with her mean-ness. She obviously dis-obey's my karate sensei's teaching "never mistake kindness for weakness or strictness for mean-ness". She (like other bullys) mistakes kindness for weakness.

In addition to this is the fact that this woman must come from a background of privilege/resources. I don't know what country Ema lives in, but in doesn't ring as the US because she writes in metric terms (kilometers, etc.) and Americans still use English distance terms but the law in both countries is probably rather similar with respect to the defamation of character this woman appears to find so easy and readliy free from retribution since she does it with so low a regard for others. Ema mentions that the woman is 60 but looks and acts younger than 40. This leads me to think her "Looks" are part of her armamentarium. She uses her "looks" to get what she wants. (Not the oldest ploy, but close...LOL)

Frankly, it appears that the owners are afraid of this woman because they have allowed this to continue for 17 years with her in their employ. Yes, she has been a reliable employee, but obviously SOMETHING has changed and now she is destroying their business by alienating the employees to such an extent that they won't work for this business. That is a killer in any business. They should have taken clear and assertive steps to curb her behavior as soon as it became apparent that she was guilty of it. Now, she has been getting away with it for so long that it amounts to tacit approval by the owners by allowing her to continue to get away with it (particularly in a small [village] town).

I live in a small town (1200) and we have similar situations. A senior, very well established member of our small town told a new-commer "you can do anything you want in this town, as long as everybody knows about it!". That is so true. The important point is that if you are well known to NOT engage in the behavior of which you are reported to be doing, you have other recourse; but not do the same thing back. That only makes you look as bad.

Quitting was a strong statement. You were willing to sacrifice your income for your beliefs. That is huge. The owners know that now. Your courage is obvious to them now. It shouldn't be long before they realize that regardless of her longevity with their business, that she is destroying their business with her behavior. If this behavior is NEW, then someone should try to find out why it has begun and see if they can help that woman before she destroys the business and much of the good will in that town.

Of course there is always the "group approach" where a "group" of ladies in town invite this woman to "tea" and then explain the fact that "someone in town is causing problems which if they continue will make more serious difficulties for the entire town". No names and no specifics...just let the girls complain in front of her and then she will get the clear impression that they know it is her without ever saying it or telling it to her face. All they have to do is talk about that kind of behavior and what they think of it. She will, if she has ANY brains at all, GET THE MESSAGE. If not, well there are other approaches; many of which cost money in terms of legal fees, etc.

Not a sermon, just my opinion.
YMMV
//BT//
Trim sends

 

[savingdogs]

I have to agree and this reminds me of an incident in my life.

I once worked for an office with a terrible manager. She liked me, but harassed a lot of people. It didn't help that she liked me because it made me unpopular with the people she hated. I did my best to work within the system but finally found another job and on my exit interview explained why I was leaving. They were surprised because they knew this lady liked me, did not know I secretly HATED her.

About a year later they called me and asked me to help them with a court case. They had finally fired her and she was suing them for wrongful termination. They asked me to write a statement why I left.

I did so, and later that year the doctor sent me a beautiful food basket at Christmastime (even though he was Jewish) with a wonderful thank you note. He said he wished he had let that woman go much earlier, that he realized that I was the gem and the wrong person left, but that he greatly appreciated my support.

I did really care about my coworkers there and those bosses so I was happy I was able to help them resolve their employment issues. Bullys should not be allowed to be in the bully-ing position. A smart company will not have someone like that as the boss. But they have to KNOW first of all why people are leaving or upset.

I have a feeling that you will get your job back......with that person gone......just a hunch....

 

[Ema]

Everything that you all said is very right especially what Icu4dzs wrote. I live in Northern Ontario Canada.

I spoke with an employee that got hired at the same time as me, and her and I got along famously, we would team up and get everything done and gear the highschool students into working instead of chatting and texting on the job. She was upset that I quit, and I told her why and she immediately said she was unsure as to why the store owners had pulled her and the rest of the employees aside with questions but that she answered them truthfully because she too had had enough of her. Other employees gave them the same stories.

I do find that the store owners seem to be afraid of her, they walk on egg shells around her and its sort of dumb, I mean they are the bosses not her, yet they conform to anything she asks for and wants.

But when I first started one employee quit a couple days later, she had been there 15 years and she was the assistant manager, she was super nice and everyone loved her. The boss told me yesterday that the manager used to make her cry so often it was crazy. but I think they overlooked her behaviour for so long they practically shot themselves in the foot, because now that they are looking at getting rid of her, they can't because they failed to document anything that should have been documented.
One of the owners told me, harassment of of any extent especially of this kind is highly unacceptable, and I said to him, well she had been there 17 years, you failed to do any reports for the last 5 years about her behaviour and now she is untouchable. This obviously made sense in his head because he said nothing back.
It is really sad, but they will learn from this I am sure. You see this shop has been open and operating int his town for about 20 years, the owners bought the franchise from the previous owner and kept all employees. Even the previous owner told them she was a problem but they overlooked it.

Either way, as of right now they haven't even talked to her about it. they haven't said anything what so ever. they told her I resigned and from what the daytime team leader said, she just said Oh well, hire someone else.

I hate to say it but I know that I took the easy way out, I could have filed a formal complaint, went to the franchise manager, I could have called the labour board, but to be honest it was more of a headache than anything else. I just wanted out and let them sort their own problems on their own.

But the rest of the employees are peeved with me, and its because I was the only one willing to stand up to her and remind her that respect went both ways. Not even the store owners would dare say anything to her in one of her fits of rage. they will eventually I am sure.

today, I started spring cleaning, donated about 4 large bags of toys and clothes and made a nice honey ham for dinner with stuffing and vegies. Its Earth day so the power has been off in my house all day. Only turned it back on about 2 hours ago. Its been a beautiful and warm spring day.
trying to pace myself with the decluttering of the rest of the house, after all we still have snow on the ground, lol.

Ema

 

[Homemaker]

I have to agree and this reminds me of an incident in my life.

I once worked for an office with a terrible manager. She liked me, but harassed a lot of people. It didn't help that she liked me because it made me unpopular with the people she hated. I did my best to work within the system but finally found another job and on my exit interview explained why I was leaving. They were surprised because they knew this lady liked me, did not know I secretly HATED her.

This is exactly what happened to me! I hated it.