here's one for all you southerners (or those who want to be)

[lorihadams]

> Southerners know their summer weather report:
> Humidity
> Humidity
> Humidity
>
>
> Southerners know their vacation spots:
> The beach
> The rivuh
> The crick
>
> Southern women know everybody's first name:
> Honey
> Darlin'
> Shugah
>
> Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
> Fried Green Tomatoes
> Driving Miss Daisy
> Steel Magnolias
> Gone With The Wind
>
>
> Southerners know their religions:
> Baptist
> Methodist
> Football
>
>
> Southerners know their cities dripping with
> Southern charm:
> Chawl'stn
> S'vanah
> Foat Wuth
> N'awlins
> Addlanna
>
>
> Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
> Men in uniform
> Men in tuxedos
> Rhett Butler
>
>
> Southern girls know their prime real estate:
> The Mall
> The Spa
> The Beauty Salon
>
>
> Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
> Having bad hair and nails
> Having bad manners
> Cooking bad food
>
>
> More Suthen-ism's:
> Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit ,
> and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard
> greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows exactly how long
>
> "directly" is, as in:
>
>
> "Going to town, be back drekly (directly)."
> _____
>
> Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some
> sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet
> substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the
> table.
> _____
>
> All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is..
> They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the
> best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of
> hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.
>
>
> If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
>
> they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
> _____
>
> Only Southerners grow up knowing
> the difference between "right near" and
> "a right far piece." They also know that
>
> "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference
>
> between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> _____
>
> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the
>
> flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
> _____
>
> A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used
> as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
> _____
>
> Only Southerners make
> friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we
> talk to everybody!
> _____
>
> Put 100 Southerners in a room
> and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by
> marriage.
> _____
>
> In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
> _____
>
> Southerners know grits
> come from corn and how to eat them.
> _____
>
> Every Southerner
> knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly
> wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
> green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> _____
>
> When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin',"
>
> you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> _____
>
> Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
> indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
> unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want
> buttermilk.
> _____
>
> And a true Southerner knows you don't
> scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the
> freeway.
>
>
> You just say ,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
> _____
>
> To those of you who are still a
> little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a
> dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your
> heart!
> _____
>
>
> And to those
> of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern
> stuff...bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
> Southernness as a second language!
> _____
>
> And for those
> that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all
> y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I'm
> not from the South, but I got here as fast as I
> could."
>
>
> Southern women know men may come and
> go, but friends are fahevah !
>
> Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wishes they had been!
>
> If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it.
>
> We know you got here as fast as you could.

 

[~gd]

How long do I have to live in the South before I am no longer refered to as a Damn Yankee. The first year I was the new Yankee, and they were glad to get my money. once it was apparent that I wasn't going to move on and I could still earn more money than the good old boys I got promoted to Damn Yankee.
In this neck of the woods a good ol' boy hasn't sweated since he last played football, Usually from a good family, runs the family business/ into politics, drives a big pickup truck to prove his manhood, will make a pass at anything in skirts for the same reason. The pickup is always new and shiny and he throws his beer cans in the back as he finishes them, beats the open container law that way.
a redneck earned what he has often by outdoor work, Unless well off his pickup is older and dusty with no beer cans in the back he throws his out the window to beat the open container law.
po' white trash. may be a hard worker but never saves, his money passes over the bar, at the ABC store, or gambling very badly. May ride a moped because he lost his driving rights with too many DUIs, if not his vehicle is often a 'beater' that needs body work and he doesn't have insurance so he is a careful driver when he is stone sober. lives in a trailer, is very proud if it is a double wide. Likely to have lots of kids to help collect welfare.

 

[noobiechickenlady]

Well, ~gd, bless your heart, don't you know a darn yankee is one who doesn't go home?

I do feel the urge to make some redeye gravy...

 

[big brown horse]

~gd bless your heart, you poor shang!

I so miss that southern fried chicken, it sho is good!

"oil" is pronounced "all" so is "owl" as in "hoot all"

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I was Southern Born and bred, and I am desperate to get back to my roots.

A true Southerner appreciates fresh boiled peanuts.

and they're not afraid to help someone who needs the help.

and they are polite.

and the men - the real men - still open doors for the ladies no matter if they wear a skirt or pants.

Real Southern men treat their women with respect - and they know how to treat a lady - and they know what to do with the men who don't know how to treat a lady!

 

[elijahboy]

i love being a southener

when someone says a statement the common response and if you agree and you live near the water is "INIT"

i have had a 80 year old lady ask me for a ride home all i said was get in my car

when you walk thru the store it doesnt matter if you know the person you say hey how you doin

regardless if your a man or woman you open the door for the person in front or behind you makes for alot of confusion too

if you are from up north the only way you can be southern is if you dont tell anyone or you will never be one of us

we love our collard greens and neckbones or bacon, fried chicken, fried okra, green beans, corn, mac and cheese with lots of butter

 

[elijahboy]

its not pronounced all

its pronounced ooooooooooooool

when i moved to maryland for a short time by accident no one could understand me and swore i was from new york

~gd bless your heart, you poor shang!

I so miss that southern fried chicken, it sho is good!

"oil" is pronounced "all" so is "owl" as in "hoot all"

 

[elijahboy]

and you never have a toilet you have a tooooooylet

sausage is sawwwwwwwwwwwsage

 

[DrakeMaiden]

>
> _____
>
> And a true Southerner knows you don't
> scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the
> freeway.
>
>
> You just say ,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
> _____
>

Now see, I really admire that, as a . . . um . . . yankee. No need to pitch a fit.

 

[big brown horse]

My favorite is "you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit". One of my fellow teachers used to say that to her kiddos.

EB what part of the south are you from? In s. TX it's "all" girl.