Hillfarm - good news, thank heavens.

[Marianne]

Oops! Missed them!
Wow, they really are pretty!

 

[hillfarm]

thank you. i am really pleased. Gonna make another batch and some guiness beer bars this weekend. Playing with some watermelon recipes. Some amazing soapers out there have beautiful soaps. I can only dream of doing what they do. But I tend to OCD over certain things. SO, I may be very very busy this winter....

 

[hillfarm]

I got four eggs today... My girls are growing up so fast..

It was a busy soaping day.

Made a watermelon and loofah scrubby soap.

An applejack and an oatmeal, honey and milk loaf too.

My house smells soooo good.

 

[hillfarm]

Attended Al Anon this week. It is a good thing. I wish I had a religion or even a strong faith. Sadly, I'm one of those types who question everything. Giving it up to a higher power does not come naturally to someone like me.
When you come from a world of dysfunction, someone has to be in control. SO I told hubby I had been attending last night, and he got very quiet and defensive. Then he got really emotional. I dont think he believed how much the drinking was altering his personality and our relationship.
I am working hard on soaping, and being the person I want to be. I am struggling.
DH has been fired. I am fighting depression, but I am ok. He is floundering.
He has a good amount of job options, so I don't think he will stay unemployed for long. He is a hard worker.

I read that we tend to date and marry people we think sub consciously that we can fix. It would explain why we were origionally attracted.

I made several batches of soap. Apple spice, another pumpkin, oatmeal milk and honey and a watermelon scrubby soap. I enjoyed the mental occupation that it supplies. Can't think about any problems when your soaping. Lol.

Life is what we make it. I want to make mine peaceful and loving and productive. I want to learn and teach. I want happiness.

I am focusing on those things and not on the parts that suck, cus I have spent enuf time hurting and being hurt.

 

[hillfarm]

oops, already bragged about my soap. sorry, I am a bit scattered lately.

 

[Farmfresh]

Trust in a higher power comes hard when you grow up trusting no one. I know.

If it ever does come the release is so amazing. Very worth it.

 

[dragonlaurel]

Making a batch like that is worth bragging twice. You did really good and it's a bonus that it provides some time out from thinking about the trouble. You might scout out the health food stores, boutiques, spas, etc. and see how to get started selling soap to them. By the time they are aged- you could have some customers.

Helping other people is great but sometimes you need help too. Going to the meeting was a great step. Even if the religious aspect doesn't quite fit- talking with other people that understand what you're going through is valuable.

Try to do something each day that you enjoy, to help you through this hard period. Even if it's just listening to your favorite music while you do stuff, watching the sunset, or taking a nice bath. Feel free to substitute whatever makes you smile and de-stress. You have been through enough. Enjoy whatever you can and the rest may be easier to deal with.

 

[Farmfresh]

... AND if you DO find yourself smiling during the day, don't feel guilty for it. You deserve happiness.

 

[LovinLife]

Now I heard that you marry the person you want to be like. I think that's a more positive way to look at things. There were things that you loved so much about DH that you wanted to make those good qualities part of your life.


I loved your pumpkin soap pics and hope that one day I will be able to make something like that. Have you posted pics of the watermelon soap??

 

[hillfarm]

Thank you, to everyone who took the time to respond. it means a lot.

I havent posted new pics. I will see what I can find....

These are the apple scent. I used iron oxide to get the red. It seized up on me but it came out allright.