HOw old.....

[miss_thenorth]

I like how your thinking, but I'm thinking.... lets go out during the day. Go out for dinner, and maybe a few drinks later on. (or bring a bottle to the beach which is only a few minutes away) the kids wil be fine into the evening. We come home, have a campfire. (or jave a campfire at the beach-kids go to bed. I understand the gesture to go out for the night, but seriously --the kids are just not old enough.

I oh-so-seriously would not be able to enjoy myself if it were leaving them alone overnight. Really, we have never had a problem being romantic by leaving the kids. Just b/c they are older now, why is it so different?

 

[PamsPride]

I am another no way vote!
I am another one of those people with GOOD kids...read SUPER GOOD!!
My oldest is 15. I do not even leave him home for more than an hour or so with all of the younger kiddos. We live so far out that it is hard to get help her, let alone fast help! I don't think he could sleep if he was left in charge. Then if he did fall asleep I would be a basket case because I know he is near impossible to wake up! Same goes for my 13 yo!
It is strange but I remember being left alone at other peoples houses watching their young children when I was like 12 yo but I would not do that with my own children! LOL! I have found that sometimes with teenagers the brain does not always connect with the right thing to do in some situations!

 

[dragonlaurel]

Some 14 year olds could handle it, but- if the other one isn't ready, it's not going to be a good experience. Go out for the day or part of the night, and have fun.

 

[ORChick]

I am divided on this issue. First, let it be said, I have no children of my own, but like freemotion, I was once one! And, from much of what I have heard and read, children today are less likely to be ready for being left alone than when I was that age (in the 1960's), for whatever reason. But, that said, I am second among four, and the only girl. My elder brother was often left with us younger siblings, though maybe not overnight, I don't remember. When I was 13 I was sent, by myself (and at my request), on a plane to Ireland to return to a boarding school I had been at the year before. No problem. Some time later I returned from (day) school, and was told that my parents would be leaving the next day for Ireland (to save my eldest brother from some fate, I forget what), and I would be in charge of the house and my younger brothers for 2 weeks. I was 17, I think. That also went well. I was a good kid, but not, I think, angelic. However, my parents felt that everything would be fine, and it was. If you do not, then I would trust your gut, and find another way to celebrate some special time with your DH. As someone mentioned, even if everythig is fine, it won't be a relaxing time for you if you are worried.

 

[Farmfresh]

There is a MIGHTY difference between 17 and 14 even in good kids.

At 14 I was trying to smoke, sneak and "channel the darkside" at 17 the worst of my pubert-ing was over. As a matter of a fact I was married at 17 and running my own household!

For some reason, probably hormones, even the best kids lose their flippin' minds from about 10 to at least 16. BELIEVE me ... I taught middle school for 9 years.

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

i'm a big 'no' also..... its not what they CAN handle thats the issue.. its what they can't. crazy things happen, friends show up, or maybe nothing at all.

but for heavens sakes i nearly burned the house down the other day.
;-)

 

[miss_thenorth]

its not what they CAN handle thats the issue.. its what they can't.

I think this sums it up perfectly. I trust both my kids, know their strengths and weaknesses, I know they can handle alot, but if something comes along that they can't handle, I think it would be irresponsible of me (us) to put them in that situation. they still have alot to learn, and a few years can make a difference.

 

[twistedponies]

Okay I just wanted to jump in on this one.......it is all about maturity. For example I would not hesitate leaving my 14 yr old son alone for a night, he is responsible and safety aware. However my youngest son who turns 11 this week is much less confident and I do not think I would let him stay by himself now or at age 14..............with the oldest though he is fine. Some kids are fine, some are not.
I have found if you are going to worry all night then it's not worth it, and we drag our boys along for many things.

 

[Beekissed]

I left mine alone for 20 minutes while I went to the grocery store. The 15 yr old and 13 year old were cleaning out low gutters on the back patio while watching their 10 year old brother play in the yard. A 13 yr. old cousin was visiting.

Now...these are good boys and usually pretty responsible....

I came home to see my 13 yr. old standing on the roof of one section of the house, peeing off the corner. The 15 yr. old and 13 yr. old cousin were up on the second story roof with the 10 yr. old!!!!!!!

The story? "We were playing Spiderman."



I'm sure my geriatric neighbors were popping their blood pressure and cardiac meds and predicting the death of all my children! I was appalled, to say the least. :/

Unless your kids are real mature with an adult living next door in which you really place faith and you are only going one town away......maybe. But probably not.

 

[MsPony]

It really depends on the kids. I have always been very mature, independent and responsible, my mom could leave me alone at age 10 if she had wanted and I could have done it. I was taking care of other peoples BABIES at age 12, I remember my fav family, a baby, 6 year old and 8 year old. All boys. I did it, provided the middle one had severe emotional issues and left me in tears a few times.

Now, my little brother (today is his 15th birthday) and 16 year old neice are both very immature, irresponsible, etc. My 16 year old niece got off probation for drug paraphnila and possesion...a week later was back on probation. Never, ever, leave them alone.

When I was 15/16 I "hung out"/watched two boys...11 and 13? The 13 year old was/is severely bipolar and I was there in case he needed help/had an episode. I think that was the best thing his parents could have done, I basically played video games, went to their friends houses, did whatever with them. But I was also in charge/responsible in case something happened.

So in the end, ask someone responsible to "hang out" with them when in doubt!