Well, yesterday was bad. Today I am a little calmer. I think that Sundays are harder cause I can't take the ACTIONS that I am thinking about. I just feel like I gotta keep moving. When stores are closed or banks closed or people unavailable it gets me upset.
My husband retired from a really stressful job last February, thinking that we had enough to plan for a future. I still work. He's up in Mackay right now putting a roof on a garage that he's been building all summer. The plan was the garage and studio up stairs was to be part one of our building project on our 8 acres. Part two, the house we would build after our house in the city sold. Now all this is looking kinda dismal. House may not sell, mortage not get paid. Land project put on perpetual hold.
Still, I move forward in my mind with the project. I am planning the garden already and have purchased Heirloom seed. I am collecting compost materials here to haul up there as the trailer goes up and down frequently. Lots of leaves bundled in this city. Not much leaves in that small mountain town.
I perhaps read too much on the alternative financial forums. There is some pretty scary stuff there. This week it made me worry that the bond and T bill market may be heading for jeopardy. We have most of our investments there. This is a lifetime of work saved up so our kids would not have to support us. Most of our savings is in my husbands 401k, which is in low risk investment, bonds etc. I have one bond that I purchased in June that today I am going to go and cash. I will take a small hit on cashing early. I think I have pretty much decided to purchase silver dollars.
I am now worrying about the reliability of my own job. Im a nurse and all our patients are subsidized by medicare. The cuts have been pretty rough this year. We have had to cut staff. The hospitals that usually send us patients are holding on to them and doing this speciality work themselves so our admissions are down. Administration reports that we have been not making a profit for about 4 months due to low census and payment cuts in medicare. Now I do the work of two nurses and it is affecting our quality of care, which is sad. If more medicare cuts happen I just don't know if our facility will make it.
Whats the worse about this is my husband is way up there and I'm down here all summer and into this financial crisis. He has no internet and our phone communications are difficult to due reception problems and the newspapers there just aren't very good so Im having to sift through all this media and news stuff and try to figure things out on my own and then try to relay into to him. It took him a few weeks to really grasp how big it is, he didn't really till he came home for a few days and tuned in.
My biggest concern with the media is that I don't think that they report the real truth. when it is happening .. and you start to see that when you go to alternative news sites. I've been on forums where this financial crisis was predicted about 2 years ago, caused by just the reasons we are being told now... yet we don't get a peep from the mainstream media until we are actually falling off the cliff. So I've probably spent too much time in the past thinking the alternative media is nuts or into conspiracy theory or commies or whatever.
I just can't imagine what it would be like to have a family of young children and I thank god I am past this phase. My boys are 23 and 20, in college and still living at home. They work too. Yet I worry for them. You never stop worrying about your kids but they are strong and can fend for themselves. If a severe recession occurs I think their jobs will go down as they work in a fancy car wash that caters to high end folks. The last thing people do when things get bad is pay for their cars to get washed! They see a slowing down already.
I am praying for all these families with children. Its hard enough when things are "good".
The thing that amazes me is I am not hearing people talk. Its like folks are silent in my neighborhood. Not at work. Not around the neighborhood. Are people paralized? Many of my neighbors are Mormon. Perhaps they do all their talking at church.
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