Is this guy related to OFG?

Wifezilla

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"Processing a Blue Hubbard squash is a daunting task if you've never done it before, what with that big intimidating rock-hard blue shell, but in reality it's not that difficult. Start by giving the gourd a light scrubbing under clear running water - like pumpkins, Hubbards are heavy and field-grown and often have a thick crust of dirt on the ground-contact side. After the bath, put the squash on a heavy cutting board and use a strong meat cleaver to deliver a fast, hard strike dead center. Don't be afraid, and don't pull your punch, and THE SQUASH WILL SPLIT IN TWO LIKE THE SKULL OF YOUR ENEMY AS YOU CLEAVE HIS HELM WITH YOUR BROADSWORD."
http://davescupboard.blogspot.com/2008/11/blue-hubbard-squash.html

:gig

I googled blue hubbard squash because I think that is the variety that has taken over my entire back yard. This guy's blog popped up and now I am giggling. When I harvest those monster squash, I will grab the axe and don the armor. Maybe I should practice my war cry.

AAAiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
 

ohiofarmgirl

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DUDE! i so need a broadsword...especially for gardening!

the scene: at night, OFG sits on a low stool in front of a roaring bonfire, dogs sit around her

OFG: Kai! What is the best in life?
Kai: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
OFG: That is good! That is good. But even more.... to smote your squash, and see it split in two like the skull of your enemy as you cleave his helm with your broadsword

*all nod in agreement*

hold on i gotta go and check this dave guy out....
 

Wifezilla

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Using the spare stock pot as a helm, wifezilla rummages through the shed looking for a sturdy axe. A small, dull hatchet is all that could be found. The ducks, who have guarded the mutant gourd lo these past months from behind their run fencing, look on. Their contract only requires observe and report duties. Shelley, seeing the small hatchet in wifezilla's hand, tries to hide her snickering by shoving her bill under her wing. Token the drake mutters "yeah, good luck with that" and is rewarded by a smattering of guffaws from his 3 sons. Zeus the cat, momentarily distracted from rodent roundup duties calls to his feline friends. "Xena! Cookie! Get over here quick! This is going to be good!"
 

ohiofarmgirl

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Cookie lumbers over... in all her long life she has never seen anything quite like this... she observes, curious...
 

moolie

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Henrietta23 said:
I will never look at a hubbard squash the same way again........
ditto that, lol!
 

abifae

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Wifezilla said:
I googled blue hubbard squash because I think that is the variety that has taken over my entire back yard. This guy's blog popped up and now I am giggling. When I harvest those monster squash, I will grab the axe and don the armor. Maybe I should practice my war cry.

AAAiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
You obviously need teh fae to halp. I can wield an axe.
 
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